Du Mu: Given on Parting, I of Two
1
O slim and slender, so fair, so fine --- thou,
barely ten and three;
2
Like a nutmeg in bud in early March, at
the tip of a sprig of the tree.
3
On the miles of streets of Yangzhou City,
in vernal breezes mild,
4
Of all, with their bead-screens rolled
open, none be equal to thee.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
27 August 2021 (revised 28.8.2021; 2.9.2021; 3.9.2021)
Translated from the original - 杜牧: 贈別 二首 其一
1
娉娉嫋嫋十三餘
2
豆蔻梢頭二月初
3
春風十里揚州路
4
捲上珠簾總不如
Notes:
*Form, Metre, and Rhyme:
The original is a 7-character quatrain 七言絕句 with a
caesura after the fourth character. This
English rendition is in heptameter (7-beat lines) with a caesura after the
fourth beat. The rhyme scheme is AAxA as
in the original.
*Line 1: I have
used the “s” alliteration (“slim -
slender”) to render the reduplication of 嫋 (petite), and the “f”
alliteration (“fair – fine”) to render the reduplication of 娉 (beautiful). 十三餘 (a little more than 13) is rendered as “thou, barely ten and
three” to create the “three (line 1) – tree (line 2) - thee (line 4)” rhyme.
*Line 2: I have taken 豆蔻 to refer to “nutmeg” (肉豆蔻) which is a tree, and not “cardamom” (小豆蔻) which is an herb. Here, “nutmeg” stands for the flower of the tree. I have, therefore, added “in bud” to render 豆蔻. 梢頭 is translated literally as “at the tip of a sprig of the tree”; and 二月初 (second;
month; beginning) is rendered as “in early March” as the lunar second month is
roughly the solar month of March.
*Line 3: 揚州路 (Yangzhou;
road) is taken to mean the roads and streets
in the city of
Yangzhou, not a road named Yangzhou or a road into or out of Yangzhou;
and 十里 (10 ‘li’ =
roughly 3 miles) is taken to refer to the extent of the roads and streets
(and not the distance of
a particular road) and is rendered simply as “miles”. 十里揚州路 is, therefore, rendered as “On
the miles of streets of Yangzhou City”. 春風 (spring; wind) is rendered as “in vernal breezes
mild” with “mild” added for its “ai” sound to break, at line 3, the
“three (1) – tree (2) – thee (4)”
rhyme.
*Line 4: 捲上珠簾 is translated rather literally as “with their bead-screens rolled
open” with “rolled open” to translate 捲上 (rolled; up). 總不如 is rendered as “Of all … none be equal to thee”, with “to
thee” (implied in the original) added to echo “thou” in line 1 and to make
plain the poem is addressed to the lady concerned.
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