李白 Li Bai: 山中問答 Why in the Mountains

Andrew Wong's English Rendition of Li Bai "Why in the Mountains"

Here is a beautiful little poem by Tang dynasty China's "Immortal Poet" Li Bai 詩仙 李白. I hope my rendition in translation has done Li Bai justice. You may wish to note that I have (a) kept the original rhyme scheme AABA or AAXA (with the "een" rhyme to translate the original "aan" rhyme), (b) provided every line with a "caesura" or "pause" somewhere in the middle (in this case, after 3 beats) to translate the invariable and often very prominent caesura after 4 characters in the 7-character (or after 2 in the 5-character) Chinese quatrain line, and (c) used "beats" or "feet", and not "syllables", to account for the line length of the the English rendition in translating the original lines of equal length (in this case, 7-character). I am in total agreement with the late Arthur Cooper's insistence on the "caesura", but differ from him in that he counts "syllables" while I count "beats". His rendition of this poem can be found on p.115 of his "Li Po and Tu Fu", London: Penguin, 1973, his methodology on pp.82-83. Here is my rendition; please read aloud and enjoy Li Bai (Li Po):-

Li Bai (701-762) : Why in the Mountains (In Reply to the Uninitiated)

1 You ask O why I’ve chosen to live in the mountains green;

2 I smile without replying, my heart sedate, serene.

3 Peach flowers on rivulets gambol, then ramble out of sight; ’tis

4 Heaven and earth with a difference, not of the world we’d been.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa)       譯者: 黄宏發

7^th November 2008 (revised10.11.08; 14.11.08; 17.11.08: 12.4.10)
Translated from the original - 李白:  山中問答(答俗人)

1 問余何事(意)棲碧山

2 笑而不答心自閒

3 桃花流水杳然去

4 別有天地非人間

Notes:

* The original poem is in 7-character lines; this English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet). The rhyme scheme is AAXA as in the original.

* Title and lines 1 and 2: My interpretation of the poem is that of the poet “thinking to himself”, not a real dialogue or conversation, hence, my title “Why in the Mountains” and, hence, lines I and 2 can, alternatively, begin as “If you ask” and “I would smile” respectively.

* Line 1: The words “I’ve chosen” or “I choose” are not in the original but can be reasonably inferred. The addition provides a much needed break/pause/caesura to the line, and “I’ve chosen” does the job better than “I choose”.

* Line 2: I had considered “I smile in reply speechless” and have decided “speechless” too strong, hence, out of place for the “heart, sedate, serene”.

* Line 3: I had used “peach petals” but have now decided for “peach flowers”. I have chosen to use “peach flowers” rather than “rivulets” or both as the subject, hence, “(peach flowers on rivulets) … gambol … ramble” to translate 流 and 去.

* Line 4: I have used “not of the world we’d been” to mean “not of the world we men had been” to translate 非人間. Alternatively, “been” can be changed to “seen”.

白居易 Bai Juyi: 大林寺桃花 Peach Blossoms at the Dalin Temple

POSTSCRIPT 6.6.2011, LATEST REVISION: My English rendition of this Bai Juyi poem was first posted here in August 2009. It was revised and posted on my other blog (link at top right corner) on 20.5.2011. It is now further revised as follows (notes revised according in the original post):-

Bai Juyi (772-846): Peach Blossoms at the Dalin Temple

1 In men’s realm, after April, blossoms have all but spent;
2 At this a mountain temple, ‘tis time for the peach to blow.
3 Ever complaining spring, once gone, could nowhere be found,
4 Never did know into here it had turned, unhurried to go.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
27th July 2009 (revised 29.7.09; 30.7.09; 31.7.09; 1.8.09; 3.8.09; 10.5.11; 6.6.11)

ORIGINAL POST 3.8.2009: Below is my latest translation. It is a poem by Bai Juyi or Po Chu-I. Hope you will enjoy it.

Bai Juyi (772-846): Peach Blossoms at the Dalin Temple

1 In the plains past April, peach blossoms have all but gone;
2 In the hills at the temple, ‘tis the time for the peach to blow.
3 Ever plaintful: spring once spent, was nowhere to be found;
4 Never did know: to the hills it’d turned, and reluctant to go.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa)       譯者: 黃宏發
27th July 2009 (revised 29.7.09; 30.7.09; 31.7.09; 1.8.09; 3.8.09) (further revised 6.6.2011)
Translated from the original - 白居易: 大林寺桃花

1 人間四月芳菲盡
2 山寺桃花始盛開
3 長恨春歸無覓處
4 不知轉入此中來

Notes (revised up to 6.6.2011):
* This English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet) while the original is in 7-character lines. The rhyme scheme is XAXA as in the original.
* Line 1: I had considered “world”, decided for “plains” to contrast with “hills” in line 2, but have now decided to revise it to the literal "men's realm". As the “fourth month” on the Chinese lunar calendar approximates May, I had used “past April” now "after April" to translate 四月. I had used "gone" but have now revised it to "spent".

* Line 2: "In the hills at the temple" is now amended to read "At this a mountain temple", and "'tis the time", to "'tis time"
* Line 3: Unlike the poet’s most famous poem 長恨歌 “Ode/Song of Everlasting Regret/Sorrow”, 長 here means 常 “always/ever” and 恨 here means 怨 “complain”. I had originally used “Ever plaintful: spring once spent"", but have now decided for “Ever complaining: spring once gone”.
* Line 4: I had used “Never knowing” to parallel “Ever complaining” in line 3, but have now decided for “Never did know” which subtly suggests “Now I know”. This is precisely what the whole poem is about (Line 1: blossoms gone/spent in the plains; Line 2: peach blossoms blow in the hills at the temple; Line 3: always thought, spring once spent/gone, cannot be found; Line 4: now I know spring is in the hills). I had originally used "to the hills" to translate 此中 but have now decided for the literal “into here”. I have added “and reluctant to go”, now "unhurried to go" to end this last line of the poem both to complete the rhyme and to say “the poet does not wish spring to go” by saying “spring does not wish to go”.