杜牧 Du Mu: 寄楊州韓綽判官 Sent to Magistrate Han Chuo in Yangzhou

Here is yet another beautiful little poem by the late Tang dynasty poet Du Mu.  As I have said in my notes, Han Chuo and Du Mu were great friends and fellow officials when Du was in post in Yangzhou, and 玉人 here refers to Han Chuo and means "handsome fellow", not "beautiful lady".  What I have not mentioned in my notes was the story that Du and Han used to frequent pleasure houses together.  This known, does line 4 refer to the noble pleasure of teaching flotists (flutists) or other pleasures?  I do hope my translation has done Du Mu justice.  Please enjoy this ambiguity.

Du Mu (803-852):  Sent to Magistrate Han Chuo in Yangzhou

1  (In haze the green hills half hidden, to afar the waters flow;)
Green hills in haze half hidden, waters to afar do flow; 
(revised  24.10.12)

2  (Though late in autumn in Southland, its grass is yet to yellow,)
This Southland though late in autumn, its grass is yet to yellow.  
(revised 25.10.12)

3  A night of bright moonlight o’er Bridges Twenty-Four, just

4  (Where are you flaunting your flute, my handsome good fellow?)
Where are you paying your pipers, my handsome good fellow?  
(revised 24.10.12)

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa)        譯者: 黃宏發

20^th August 2012 (revised 6.10.12)
Translated from the original - 杜牧:  寄楊州韓綽判官

1          青山隱隱水迢迢

2          秋盡江南草未(木)凋
3      二十四橋明月夜

4          玉人何處教吹簫

Notes:

*    Title:  判官 in Tang dynasty China was a high ranking staff officer under the Provincial Governor (辭源: 地方長官的僚属,佐理政事) and is, here, translated as “Magistrate” not in the sense of a judge but of a high ranking official.  (Shorter Oxford: Magistrate - a civil officer charged with the administration of the laws, a member of the executive government.  Middle English)

*    Line 1:  I had considered but abandoned “lie hidden” as I take 隐隐 to mean 若隱若現, hence, “half hidden” which makes more sense than “lie/all hidden”.  I have added “In haze” (not in the original) to make a 6-foot line and to make this sense possible.  To translate the repeated sounds of 隱隱 and 迢迢 I have used the alliteration of “h” (hills, haze, half, hidden) and “f” (afar, flow) respectively.

*    Line 2:  I have adopted the 未 version (草未凋 grass not withered yet) which makes more sense than the 木 version (草木凋 grass and trees all withered) and have added “Though” to accompany “yet” to complete the sense although “Though” can be replaced by “’Tis”.  I have taken 秋盡 to mean “approaching” and not quite “the end of autumn”, hence “late in autumn”.  江南 can be transliterated as “Jiangnan” but is, here, translated as “Southland” in the interest of those who do not know 南 means “south”.

*    Line 3:  二十四 “Twenty-Four” is not taken to be the name of one single “Bridge” but as numerals referring to the “Twenty-Four Bridges” of Yangzhou city which name, by tradition, stands for Yangzhou.  I have capitalized “Bridges Twenty-Four” to make clear the line refers to the city of Yangzhou.

*    Line 4:  玉人 is not taken to mean “beautiful girls” but a “handsome man”.  Du Mu wrote this poem in jest to Han Chuo who was his fellow official when Du was in post in Yangzhou and was his good friend, hence, “good fellow” (Shorter Oxford: “boon companion”).  教吹簫 “teaching how to play the flute” is rendered as “flaunting your flute” to mean “showing off your flute skills”.  The idea of “teach” is deliberately omitted as 教 can also mean 使  “to make, let” as in 金昌绪 春怨 “莫教枝上啼” Jin Changxu  A Spring Plaint “Not to (let it) trill on my garden boughs all day” .  This omission, in effect, preserves the ambiguity of the original which many believe is of a sexual nature.   

李煜 Li Yu: 相見歡 (無言獨上西樓) Xiang Jian Huan (Happy Together) (Alone, in silence, up the west tower I go)

POSTSCRIPT 2 (27.1.2108):  I have slightly polished my original rendition.  Aside from changing "bow" to "sickle" in line 2 and dropping the addition of "leaves" (not in the original) in line 3 as intimated in Postscript 1, I have revised (also in line 3) "That desolate tree of the phoenix ..." to read "That desolate phoenix tree ..."  The other changes have to do with presentation and punctuation marks.  What follows is the revised/polished poem:-

Li Yu (937-978): Xiang Jian Huan (Happy Together) (Alone, in silence, up the west tower I go)

1        Alone, in silence, up the west tower I go:

2        The moon is like a sickle; 

3     That desolate phoenix tree, this clear, cool autumn, 

3a   Locked deep in the courtyard below.

4         O threads I can’t cut through,

5         In a tangle I can’t undo!

6          Such is my parting sorrow---

7      A taste that tastes so odd, so strange that my heart   

7a    Ne’er ever before did know.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa)         譯者: 黃宏發

3rd March 2011 (revised 7.3.11; 8.3.11; 4.9.12; 19.11.2017; 27.1.2018)

POSTSCRIPT 1 (19.11.2017):  I have never been entirely comfortable with my line 2 for borrowing David Hawkes' "bow" rather than my mentor John Turner's "sickle" to translate 鉤.  I have now come to conclude that this may a perfect example of the sin of "rhyme at the expense of the image".  The line is now revised to read "The moon is like a sickle".

Upon reconsideration of the entire poem, I found I had also failed to render line 3 as faithfully as I could have, e.g. I did not have to add the idea of "leaves".  I have  decided to revise line 3a to read "That desolate tree of the phoenix, this clear, cool autumn".

These revisions are effected in the original post below.  The notes have also been revised accordingly.

ORIGINAL POST (4.9.2012):  This is yet another well-known great long-short-lined poem by Li Yu 李煜 or Li Houzhu 李後主, the last Emperor of the Southern Tang dynasty.  Just for information, although there is a claim that this was written by Meng Chang 孟昶 (919-965) the last Emperor of  the Later Su dynasty 後蜀後主, most believe Li Yu to be the author.

You may also be interested to read Li Yu's other poem of the same 調 tune title, (first line: Flower groves have shed their spring red halo 林花謝了春紅) which I posted here in May 2011 http://chinesepoemsinenglish.blogspot.hk/2011_05_01_archive.html.  You may wish to note that the 6-character lines were there rendered in tetrameter (4 beats/feet), they are here in pentameter (5 bests/feet) while the 3-character lines are in trimeter in both poems.

Li Yu (937-978): Xiang Jian Huan/Wu Ye Ti (Happy Together/Crows Caw at Night) Autumn Sentiments (1- Alone, in silence, up the west tower I go)

1        Alone, in silence, up the west tower I go:

2        (The moon is like a bow,)
       The moon is like a sickle; (revised 19.11.2017)

3a   (The autumn leaves of that desolate tree, the phoenix,)
       That desolate tree of the phoenix, this clear, cool autumn, (revised 19.11.2017)

3b      locked deep in the courtyard below.

4         O threads I can’t cut through,

5         In a tangle I can’t undo!

6          Such is my parting sorrow---

7a    A taste that tastes so odd, so strange that my heart   

7b       ne’er ever before did know.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa)         譯者: 黃宏發

3rd March 2011 (revised 7.3.11; 8.3.11; 4.9.12)
Translated from the original - 李煜: 相見歡/烏夜啼 秋懷 (1- 無言獨上西樓)

1        無言獨上西樓

2        月如鉤

3a   寂寞梧桐深院

3b   鎖清秋

4        剪不斷

5        理還亂

6        是離愁

7a   別是一般滋味

7b   在心頭

Notes:-

*    The original poem is in 2 stanzas of long and short lines with two rhymes, thus:

“6A/ 3A/ 9A(or 6X+3A)// 3B/ 3B/ 3A/ 9A(or 6X+3A)//” with numerals standing for the number of characters, and alphabets for the rhymes (X meaning unrhymed).
This English rendition follows a similar length pattern and the same rhyme scheme, thus:

“5A/ 3A/ 8A(or 5X+3A)// 3B/ 3B/ 3A/ 8A(or 5X+3A)//” with numerals standing for the number of beats/feet, and alphabets for the rhymes.  I am greatly indebted to David Hawkes for his rendition of this poem which the editor has entitled “To ‘Crows Cry in the Night’ No. 2” in Alice W. Cheang (ed.) “A Silver Treasury of Chinese Lyrics” Hong Kong: The Chinese University 2003, p. 28.  From him I have borrowed the 'ou' rhyme of  "bow, below" (which I have now abandoned) and the 'oo' rhyme of “cut through, undo”.

*    Line 2:  Instead of using the literal “hook or sickle” for 鉤, I had originally borrowed “bow” from David Hawkes (supra) to describe the shape of the moon and penned the line as "The moon is like a bow ...)  As this may well be a fine example of "rhyme at the expense of the image," I have now decided for "sickle" used by John Turner who was my high school English Literature master, my mentor.  (Please see note on line 4 and 5 below for the source.)  Not only is "sickle" the image of the original, it can be taken as a slant rhyme as the sound of the syllabic consonant 'l' (here spelt "le") sounds very close to the vowel 'ou'.   

*    Lines 3 and 3a:  For 寂寞, instead of the literal “lonely”, I have used “desolate” to produce the image of one bald and bare tree, the tree 梧桐 being deciduous.  The Chinese 梧桐 (which is not the same as the “plane” tree known in Chinese as 法國 French 梧桐) is taller and is known as the “parasol” or “phoenix” tree and I have picked the latter which symbolizes royalty.  

      I had originally penned line 3a as "The autumn leaves of the desolate tree, the phoenix" and wrote the following in the note: "清秋 is hard to interpret as 清 can have a lot of different meanings.  Instead of “cold, chilly, cool”, “clear, lucid, bright”, “pure, clean”, “quiet, peaceful”, etc., I have chosen to interpret it along the lines of 清瘦 or 清癯 being “thin, lean” and have used “autumn leaves” (which have fallen, balding the tree) to create the image of a thin and lean (not luscious) autumn."  I have now decided to restore the natural, though ambiguous, meaning of "clear, cool autumn" and revise line 3 to read "That desolate phoenix tree, this clear, cool autumn".   

      I have moved 清秋 “this clear, cool autumn (previously "The autumn leaves”) from 3a in the original up to 3, and 深院 “deep in the courtyard” from 3 down to 3a, as I have interpreted the whole line 3 to mean “the desolate tree and autumn (and the poet himself), all locked deep in the courtyard”.  

     The word “below” borrowed from David Hawkes is added for the rhyme.

*    Lines 4 and 5:  This metaphor of 剪不斷 理還亂 is difficult to translate.  I have here adapted David Hawkes’ formulation of “A knot I can’t cut through,/ A tangle that I can’t undo” (supra) to form my “Threads I can’t cut through/ In a tangle I can’t undo”. 

For reference, I cite below some solutions by other translators:- 

(1)   John A. Turner (p. 87 “A Golden Treasury of Chinese Poetry” HK: The Chinese University 1989): “Shearing will not sever, no,/ Nor sorting dis-entwine their woe” (rhymed);

(2)   Xu Yuanzhong 許淵冲 (pp. 181-2  “譯筆生花” 鄭州: 文心 2005); “Cut, it won’t break;/ Ordered, a mess ‘twill make” and his other attempts: “Cut, it won’t sever;/ Be ruled, ‘twill never” and “Cut, it won’t break;/ Ruled, it will make/ A mess and wake” (all rhymed); and

(3)   Tony Barnstone (p. 228 “The Anchor Book of Chinese Poetry” New York: Anchor Books 2005): “Cut, it won’t break,/ straightened, it stays tangled” (not rhymed).

*    Lines 7 and 7a:  In order to fill out the length of 8 beats/feet to translate the 9- character line, I have in line 7, used “a taste that tastes” to translate 滋味 and two similar (if not synonymous) words “odd” and “strange” for 別是一般.  I had consider using “bitter” instead of “odd”, but have decided against it as the “bitter taste” is only implied in the original poem.  Line 7a bears no correspondence to the original and is added to complete the rhyme and the poem.  I had considered adding “finds hard to ever swallow” but have decided for a formulation along the lines of “never before did know” which can be taken to be just an elaboration of 別是一般 without adding too much to the meaning.  I had considered penning the line as simply “never before did know” or “not ever before did know”, but have in the end decided for “ne’er ever before did know”. 

白居易 Bai Juyi: 暮江吟 Song of the River by Evening

POSTSCRIPT (9 August 2012):  I now add below the picture taken.  I was on the south bank of River Arno pointing my camera eastwards at the famed Ponte Vecchio while the sun was setting on the west.  Unfortunately, it was not dusk and the moon was not up yet.
.

ORIGINAL POST:  I have just returned to Hong Kong from a trip to Italy.  While in Florence, I attempted to take a picture of the setting sun at River Arno obviously because my rendition of this beautiful poem by Bai Juyi was fresh on my mind.  Then in Rome, on the famous Via della Lungaretta, I met an amateur photography artist and was unable to resist the urge to share with him my rendition, but only the first 2 lines.  I promised him I would post it the soonest.  Here it is.  Please enjoy it. 

Bai Juyi (772-846):  Song of the River by Evening

1  A sunbeam paves the water, the last of  a sun sunk low;

2  Half of the river rippling, half in red aglow.

3  How so lovely this third night, ninth month lunar calendar,

4  Dewdrops seem like pearl drops, the moon, like a bow.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa)      譯者:黃宏發

22^nd June 2012 (revised 26.6.12; 3.7.12)
Translated from the original - 白居易:  暮江吟

1  一道殘陽鋪水中

2  半江瑟瑟半江紅

3  可憐九月初三夜

4  露似真珠月似弓

Notes:-

*    This English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet) while the original is in 7-character lines.  The rhyme scheme is AAXA as in the original.

*    Line 1:  I have rendered 一道殘陽 as “A sun beam …, the last of a sun sunk low”.  I had originally penned “sun ray … set”, but have now decided for “sun beam … sunk”.  For 鋪 I had considered “enters”, “into”, “over”, “onto” and “paving”, and have decided for “paves”.

*    Line 2:  I had considered “One half …, one half” but have decided against the superfluous “one”.  I had originally penned “river in ripples” so as to include in both half lines the word “in”, but have now decided for “river rippling” as this brings the 2  r-sound words closer together to better translate 瑟瑟.

*    Line 3:  I had originally penned “the ninth month” to mean “of the ninth month”, but have decided that both “of” and “the” can be elided.

李白 Li Bai: 玉階怨 Sentiments on the Steps of Marble

Ezra Pound had been much praised for his rendition of this beautiful poem by the Tang dynasty Chinese poet immortal Li Bai (or as Ezra Pound would have it, following the Japanese, Ri 李 haku 白).  His rendition is reproduced below:-  

Rihaku:  The Jewel Stairs' Grievance

as translated by Ezra Pound

The jewelled steps are already quite white with dew,

It is so late that the dew soaks my gauze stockings,

And I let down the crystal curtain

And watch the moon through the clear autumn.

I have recently attempted a translation of the same poem and have come to like mine much better.  Hope you feel the same.  Here goes my rendition:-

Li Bai (701-762):  Sentiments on the Steps of Marble

1  All whitened with dew, these steps of marble,

2  Soaking by late night, her silk socks so soon.

3  Retiring, she lets down her crystalline curtain,

4  Still clinging to autumn’s clear, bright moon.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa)    譯者: 黃宏發

15^th June 2012 (revised 20.6.12; 25.6.12; 26.6.12; 3.7.12)
Translated from the original - 李白:  玉階怨

1 玉階生白露

2  夜久侵羅襪

3  卻下水晶簾

4  玲瓏望秋月

Notes:-

*    This English rendition is in tetrameter (4 metrical feet) while the original is in 5-character lines.  The rhyme scheme is XAXA as in the original.

*    Title and line 1:  I had considered “jade” and “jadeite” for 玉 but have decided for “marble”.

*    Line 1:  I have used “whitened” to translate both 白 and 生 instead of using “grow” or “gather” to translate the verb 生.  I had originally penned “Whitened” but have now decided for “All whitened” to give my rendition an iambic beginning.  白露 “White Dew” is one of the 24 節氣 “Solar Terms” in the Chinese calendar (which should more accurately be called 農歷 the Chinese Agricultural Calendar as it has both lunar and solar features) with the months and days reckoned according to the waxing and waning of the moon (hence, lunar) but with 24 key agricultural days (and, hence, all other days around these days) in the year reckoned according to the position of the sun (hence, solar).  White Dew invariably falls every year between 7^th and 9^th of September (please note: September, not the 9^th month or moon).  It has nothing to do with the moon waxing or waning, the lunar dates differ every year.  I had originally penned “these steps” but have now decided for “the steps”

*    Line 2:  I had considered “night time” but have decided for “late night”.  For 襪, after  considering both the literal “socks” and “stockings” and the less literal “slippers” (Arthur Cooper) and “soles” (Witter Bynner) as any of these is but a  synecdoche for her feet, I had decided to use a monosyllabic word  (either “socks” or “soles”) so as to be able to retain in the translation the original 羅 “silk” which blends in well with “marble” in line 1 and “crystalline” in line 3.  I was much tempted to use “silk soles” but have now decided for “silk socks”  .  I have added “so soon” (not in the original) primarily for the rhyme but also to heighten her wish to continue to stand waiting, if not out on the steps, at least back in her room.

*    Line 3:  I have used the verb “to retire” not as a translation of 卻 (which can also mean “to retreat”) as I take the two words 卻下 to be one verb to simply mean “to lower" or "to let down”.  I have added it primarily to create an extra foot for the 4-foot line, but also to make clear that the context requires that she returns to her room.  I had originally penned “Retires, she lets down”.  I then considered “She retires and lets down” and have now decided for “Retiring, she lets down".

*    Line 4:  I have added “Still” (not in the original) to link up the meaning of lines 3 and 4: “she is now in her room (line 3), still her heart is out there with the moon (line 4)”.  I had considered the more literal “watching”, “gazing at” and “looking at” to translate 望 but found them lacking in feeling and have now decided for the less literal “clinging to”.  She must have been looking at the moon for quite some time while out on the steps.  Following most anthologists, I have translated 玲瓏 as “clear, bright”, as an adjective to describe the moon, and not as an adverb to qualify 望 “look”. 

      

陳陶 Chen Tao: 隴西行 Song of Longxi

Following my October 2009 post of 王翰 Wang Han's 涼州詞 "Song of Liangzhou" and my October 2011 post of 柳中庸 Liu Zhongyong's 征人怨 "A Soldier's Lament", here is yet another very subtle anti-war poem  This poem 隴西行  "Song of Longxi" is by a Late Tang poet 陳陶 Chen Tao, and has passed down in China from generation to generation for more than a thousand years.  It is a poem most hated by sovereigns and best loved by the people, particularly the last 2 lines and most particularly the first 2 characters of these 2 lines viz. 可憐 and 猶是.  I can only hope that my translating them as "Poor souls" and "Still alive" has done Chen Tao justice.  How do you feel?

Two further points on which I need your assistance and suggestions.  First, should the entire poem be rendered in the second person (addressing the dead soldiers), or the third person (narrating their plight), or am I right to render only the last 2 lines in the second person thereby creating a change in the tone of the poem from line 3 on (which is as it should be) and making my rendition less monotonous?  

Second, although "at home as spring comes by" is an appropriate and adequate ending of the poem, I am still inclined towards the "suggestive" interpretation of 春閨  as more than just "boudoir in spring" and am, therefore, very much tempted to embrace "of spring's sweet lullaby" which, to me, feels so much more poetic.  What do you say?  Kindly give my 3 questions some thought and give us, all bloggers, your views.

I now give you Chen Tao's "Song Longxi":-     

Chen Tao (812?-885?):  Song of Longxi

1        They vowed to crush the Tartars, regardless if they should die;

2        Five thousand fur-clad warriors, fell dead, in the dust now lie.

3        Poor souls, your bones abandoned, by Wuding’s shifting shores,

4        Still live in the dreams of your lovers at home as spring comes by.

                                                                                                

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa)    譯者: 黃宏發

25^th May 2012 (revised 1.6.12; 6.6.12; 7.6.12)
Translated from the original - 陳陶:   隴西行

1        誓掃匈奴不顧身

2        五千貂錦喪胡塵

3        可憐無定河邊骨

4        猶是春閨夢裡人

Notes:

*    This English rendition is in hexameter (6 feet) while the original is in 7-character lines.  The rhyme scheme is AAXA as in the original.

*    Title:  隴西 Longxi is in present day 甘肅 Gansu Province in the north-western part of China. 

*    Line 1.  I had considered “swore” and “pledged” but have decided for “vowed”.  I had considered “swat” and “smash” but have decided for “crush”.  I have chosen the more general “Tartars” (over “Xiongnus” or “Huns”) to translate 匈奴.  Some may consider “Tartars” more specific, but I have no wish to enter into a detailed discussion here.  I had considered “mindless”, “mind not” and “care not” but have decided for “regardless”.

*    Line 2:  貂錦 “sable and silk brocade” refers to the noble uniform of the elite corps (e.g. 錦衣衛 “Guards in Brocade Uniform”) and is, therefore, a synecdoche for such “soldiers/warriors/troopers”.  I had considered using “uniformed”, “finest” and “elite” to describe the men, but have decided for the inclusion of 貂 as “fur-clad” in my translation to highlight the cold weather at the border, hence, “fur-clad  warriors”.  It is not apparent in the original whether the “five thousand” refers to the whole army or just part (albeit, a large part) of it; I have left it open in my rendition.  I have omitted translating 胡  “Hu” (which is a general term for all northern tribes which term I had rendered as “Tartars”  in my rendition of Yue Fei’s “Man Jiang Hong”) since 胡塵  can mean both “land of the northern tribes” and “land infested with people of the northern tribes”.

*    Line 3:  I had considered adding “O pity” somewhere in the line, but have decided “Poor souls” quite adequate.  I have added “abandoned” to heighten the “Poor souls” and “O pity” (which latter word I have not used) sentiments.   無定河 flows south from the Province of Inner Mongolia 内蒙古 through 陝西 Shaanxi Province into 黄河 Huang He, the Yellow River.  For 無定 (“shifting”, “unsettled”, “indeterminate”, etc.), I have used the transliteration “Wuding” but added the word “shifting” in “shifting shores” to explain the sandy and, therefore, changing/shifting nature of the Wuding river course, which also explains why it was so hard to retrieve the remains of the warriors there  abandoned.

*    Line 4:  閨 means a lady’s “quarters/boudoir/bower” at home.  春 is literally “springtime” but figuratively suggests “a lady misses her man” as in 思春 “thinking of/yearning for love”.  I had, therefore, considered using “of love’s sweet lullaby” or “of spring’s sweet lullaby” to end the poem, but have now decided for the less suggestive “at home as spring comes by”.

*    Lines 3 and 4:  Although the poem can be rendered in both the second person (an address to the dead soldiers) and the third person (a narration of the plight of the dead soldiers), I favour the second person as it gives the lines more feeling, but have decided to render only lines 3 and 4 in the second person.

李紳 Li Shen: 憫農/古風 2首 其2 (1- 鋤禾日當午) Pity the Peasants/Ancient Air (1- He heaves his hoe...)

Following my April 2012 post last month, here is the second and the more popular of Late Tang poet Li Shen's 2 quatrain (4-line) airs on the poor peasants.  The poem has become popular and famous primarily because of the last 2 lines, particularly the last line which has, for generations and generations, been used Chinese parents to teach their children not to waste food.  I hope you will enjoy my renditions of it.

Li Shen (772-846): Pity the Peasants/Ancient Air, 2 of 2 (1- He heaves his hoe...)

1  He heaves his hoe in the rice-field, under the noonday sun,

2  Onto the soil of the rice-field, his streaming sweat beads run.

3  Ah, do you or don’t you know it?  That bowl of rice we eat:

4  Each grain, each ev’ry granule, the fruit of his labour done.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa)  譯者: 黄宏發

17^th March 2010 (revised 18.3.10; 22.3.10; 24.3.10; 25.3.10; 30.3.10; 17.8.10)
Translated from the original - 李紳: 憫農/古風 2首 其2 (1- 鋤禾日當午)

1  鋤禾日當午

2  汗滴禾下土

3  誰知盤中飧

4  粒粒皆辛苦

Notes:

*  This English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet) while the original is in 5-character lines.  The rhyme scheme is AAXA as in the original.

*  Line 1:  I have added the stressed “heave” to strengthen the “he-ho” sound to represent strenuous work.
   

*  Line 2:  "On-" in Onto" should be read stressed.  I had considered “soggy/sodden rice-field”, but have decided for the more literal “soil of the rice-field”.  I have, for the rhyme, used “run” instead of the literal “drip” to translate 滴 and have added “streaming” to bring out the strenuous nature of the toil.

*  Line 3:  The second word "do" should be read stressed.  I have taken 誰知 not to mean “who knows” but to mean “do you know” or, better, “don’t you know” which latter is close to須知 (meaning “you/we ought to know” or “you/we had better know” or “the truth is”) subtly implied/suggested in 誰知..  For 盤中飧 I have used “bowl of rice” instead of the literal “plate of food” so as to follow through the idea of “rice” in lines 1 and 2, rice being the staple food for most Chinese.  I have used “we” in “we eat” instead of “you” (to follow “do you … don’t you”) in order to make clear that the poem is not about any particular bowl of rice or plate of food, but about rice and food in general.

*  Line 4:  Here, the word “each” should be read unstressed.  While the second (in “each every granule”) must be read unstressed, the first (in “each grain”) can be read stressed to make a spondaic (DUMDUM) foot.  An unstressed reading is nonetheless preferred so as not to dilute the effect of my using the alliterative “gr” sound in “grain” and “granule” to translate 粒粒 which is only somewhat covered by the repetition of the word “each”.  I had originally penned the conclusion as “is all for his hard work done”, then toyed with “the fruit of hard work done” and “due all to his hard work done”.  I  have now decided for the "fruit" formulation and to use “labour” instead of “hard work”, hence, "the fruit of his labour done". 

  

李紳 Li Shen: 憫農/古風 2首 其1 (1- 春種一粒粟) Pity the Peasants/Ancient Air, 1 of 2 (1- Each grain of millet sown in spring)

This is the first but the less popular of the 2 quatrains written by the late Tang dynasty poet Li Shen 李紳 on the plight of the farming peasants.  The first two lines of the poem make up a statement that a grain planted will produce many grains, hinting at an abundant harvest.  The turning point of the 起(begin)承(follow)轉(turn)結/合(conclude) is line 3 which, in the original, is simply written as another statement that there are no idle fields in the land, which may lead to a happy ending, yet here, ironically leads to grim death   In the poem, Li Shen has not made plain why peasants were still starving to death.  He does not have to.  One can well imagine: greedy, oppressive landlords, exorbitant taxes, and the fact that there can be no food before harvest.

Although my English rendition is largely iambic (daDUM) and anapestic (dadaDUM), I have rendered the 4th line trochaic (DUMda) to add weight to the grim conclusion.  The addition of "While" (not in the original) to line 3 makes reading easier and makes the turning point more discernible.  What do you say?  Enjoy the poem!  

Li Shen (772-846): Pity the Peasants/Ancient Air, 1 of 2

1  Each grain of millet sown in spring
2  Will by autumn harvest a myriad bring.
3  (While across the land no field lie vacant,)
    Across the land no fields lie vacant,  
    (revised 15.5.2012)
4  Peasants still found----starving, dying.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa)  譯者: 黃宏發

8^th April 2010 (revised 9.4.10; 25.4.12)
Translated from the original - 李紳: 憫農/古風 2首 其1

1  春種一粒粟

2    秋收萬顆子

3    四海無閑田

4    農夫猶餓死

Notes:

*  This English rendition is in tetrameter (4 metrical feet) while the original is in 5-character lines.  Though the rhyme scheme of the original is XAXA, I have changed it to the more demanding AAXA.

*  Line 1:  I had considered “One grain” and “A grain” but have decided for “Each grain”.

*  Line 2:  I had considered “Will, by autumn, ten thousand bring” but have decided for keeping “harvest” and for using “a myriad” instead of “ten thousand”.

*  Lines 1 and 2:  In other words, “Each grain … will … a myriad (grains) bring (/yield)”.

*  Line 3:  四海, meaning 四海之内 “(land) within the four seas”, is not translated literally as such, but as “across the land”.  I have taken 閑 to mean “inactive/unused” hence, “vacant/idle” and have adopted “vacant” as the most appropriate translation.  I have considered but rejected “fallow” which original and stronger sense is not land unused, but land ploughed but left unseeded for a growing season or more for weeding and fertility purposes.

*  Line 4:  I had considered “peasants still found, in hunger, dying” but have decided for “peasants still found -- starving, dying”.

*  Lines 3 and 4:  I had originally penned the 2 lines as “Across the land no fields lie vacant, /Yet peasants still found – starving, dying.” but have now decided for “While across the land no fields lie vacant, /Peasants still found – starving, dying.”

朱慶餘 Zhu Qingyu: 近試上張水部 Submitted to Waterworks Minister Zhang as the Imperial Examinations Approach

This beautiful little poem is by the Late Tang poet Zhu Qingyu: particularly beautiful is the last line "Are my brows too bold, too light? Are they painted just right?"  Now, just sit back and enjoy the poem.   Skip the next paragraph if you do not wish to be bothered with the rather technical stuff. 

My rendition of this quatrain by was first posted on my blog in the Hong Kong Economic Journal web on 29th October 2010.  In the ensuing discussion, it was pointed out by 香江逸士 that the last word of line 1 燭 is of 仄聲 (deflected tone), then by 筆非得 (aka Flyable Pen) that 燭 therefore does not rhyme with the last words of lines 2 and 4 being 姑 and 無 which are of 平聲 (level tone) as in Chinese versification rhymes are of the same 聲 (tone) in addition to rhyming syllables.  I have checked with the same authority 喻守真's  唐詩三百首詳析 which confirms 平聲虞韻  for lines 2 and 4 only.  The original rhyme scheme is, therefore, XAXA and not AAXA as I originally claimed.  But as the 3 words concerned are pronounced "燭 zhu", "姑 gu" and "無 wu" and as AAXA is a more demanding rhyme scheme, I have decided to stick to my original rendition.  This is written to acknowledge the contributions of 香江逸士 and 筆非得.  Please see link:  http://www.hkej.com/template/blog/php/blog_details.php?)blog_posts_id=58037

Zhu Qingyu (early 800's): Submitted to Waterworks Minister Zhang (Ji) as the Imperial Examinations Approach

1        Last night in their nuptial chamber, red candles burned bright;

2        To the front hall to greet their parents, come morning’s first light.

3        Having done with her make-up, she whispers to her groom,

4        “Are my brows too bold, too light? Are they painted just right?”

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa)   譯者: 黃宏發

5th December 2009 (revised 7.12.09; 11.1.10; 24.10.10)
Translated from the original - 朱慶餘: 近試上張(籍)水部

1        洞房昨夜停紅燭

2        待曉堂前拜舅姑

3        妝罷低聲問夫婿

4        畫眉深淺入時無

Notes:

*  This English rendition is in pentameter (5 metrical feet) while the original is in 7-character lines.  The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original.

*  Line 1:  I had considered “bridal” but have decided for “nuptial”.  I have added “bright”, which is not in the original, and have omitted translating 停 which means “brought into and put there and (of course) lit”, hence, “burned (or were) bright”.

*  Line 2:  Here, 舅 (literally, uncle) and 姑 (literally, aunt) mean father-in-law and mother-in-law.  I have translated this as “their parents”, parents to the groom and parents-in-law to the bride, the word “their” here follows from “their nuptial chamber” in line 1.  I had considered “at the” but have decided for “come”.

*  Line 3:  I have omitted translating 問 (ask) which is implied in the question marks in line 4.

*  Line 4:  I had considered “too dark, too light”, “too bold, too slight” and “too bold, not quite”, but have     now decided for “too bold, too light”.  I had considered “aright” and “all right”, but have decided for “just right”.

辛棄疾 Xin Qizi: 醜奴兒/ 採桑子 書博山道中壁 Chou Nu Er/ Cai Sang Zi (The Ugly Page/ Picking Mulberries) -- Written on a Wall on the Way to Boshan

This famous poem by Song dynasty poet Xin Qiji is about autumn, literally the autumn season and metaphorically, the autumn of one's life, of life approaching the end.  The theme is melancholy, yet mild and subtle, and the last line says it all.  For this, I have attempted many different renditions including "What a beautifully chilly autumn! I say, after all."  I have now revised it to "O how fair though chilly this autumn! I say, after all."  I hope this rightly captures the sentiments of the poet.  

This is the first long-short-line Chinese verse (or "ci" 詞) I ever attempted a versified and rhymed translation.  Like my rendition of Yue Fei's "Man Jiang Hong" (May 2010), I have used 2 different rhymes for the 2 stanzas.  Although in my subsequent renditions of Li Yu's (February, March and May 2011) and Wen Tingyun's (July 2011) long-short-line "ci" I have attempted a uniform rhyme for the uniformly rhymed lines which is not always possible, I do hope you will find my rhyme scheme enjoyable.

Xin Qizi (1140-1207): Chou Nu Er/ Cai Sang Zi (The Ugly Page/ Picking Mulberries) -- Written on a Wall on the Way to Boshan

1    When young I never did know the taste of woe or sorrow,

2    Up to the top floor, I loved to go;

3    Up to the top floor, I loved to go---

4    For to compose new verses, I feigned my sorrow and woe.

5    Now sorrow and woe I've tasted, and the bitterness withal,

6    To speak, I wish, and yet I stall;

7    To speak, I wish, and yet I stall---

8    O how fair though chilly this autumn! I say, after all.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa)      譯者: 黃宏發

23 May 2007 (revised 18.7.07; 5.12.07; further revised with notes added 30.11.10; last line revised 28.2.12)
Translated from the original - 辛棄疾: 醜奴兒/ 採桑子 -- 書博山道中壁

1    少年不識愁滋味

2    愛上層樓

3    愛上層樓 

4    為赋新詞強說愁

5    而今識盡愁滋味 

6    欲說還休

7    欲說還休 

8    卻道天凉好個秋

Notes:

*    The original is a long-short lined verse (“ci”詞) of 2 stanzas of the same “7, 4, 4, 7-character” pattern, with the shorter lines repeated: line 2 in 3 and line 6 in 7.  The rhyme scheme is ABBB, ABBB.  This English rendition uses hexameter (6 feet) for the long lines and tetrameter (4 feet) for the short ones.  My rhyme scheme is AAAA, BBBB.  I am grateful to Lin Yutang林語堂 whose English rendition of the same poem ending his book “My Country and My People”<吾國與吾民> has inspired me not to insist on the “ci” rhyme scheme of one rhyme across stanzas, and in this case, the rhyme樓樓愁 for lines 2, 3 and 4 in stanza 1 followed by the same rhyme休休秋 for lines 6, 7 and 8 in stanza 2.  The rendition by Lin Yutang (with an ABBA, CDDC rhyme scheme) is reproduced below:-
         1  In my young days,
                 I had tasted only gladness

         2  But loved to mount the top floor,

         3  But loved to mount the top floor,

         4  To write a song pretending sadness.

         5  And now I have tasted

                 Sorrow’s flavours, bitter and sour,

         6  And can’t find a word,

         7  And can’t find a word.

         8  But merely say, “What a golden autumn hour!”

*    Line 1:  I have now revised “I knew not” to “I never did know” to make the hexameter (6 feet) complete.  I have also revised “sorrow and woe” (in this line only) to “woe or sorrow”.

     Lines 2 and 3:  I have now revised “To the floors upstairs” to “Up to the top floor”.
       

*    Lines 6 and 7:  I had added (18.7.07) “of it” after “To speak”, but have now decided to take “of it” away.

*    Lines 3 and 7:  I have revised (28.2.12) the end-of-line commas to dashes.

*    Line 8:  I had changed (18.7.07) “I merely say, What a cold and beautiful season, this fall!” to “What a chilly and beautiful autumn!  I say, after all.”, then decided (5.12.07) to describe “autumn” as “beautifully chilly” instead of “chilly and beautiful”.  I have now decided (28.2.12) to revise the line as “O how fair and chilly this autumn!  I say, after all.”