Here is another love-song from another great Tang master. Hope you enjoy it.
Liu Yuxi (772-842): Song of Bamboo Twigs, I of Two [*Green, O green is the willow...]
1 Green, O green is the willow, placid, peaceful the flow;
2 Hark and I hear on the river, songs from my love, my beau.
3 To the east, the sun is up, to the west, drizzles persist;
4 Though they say the sun is naught, to me, the sun is aglow.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黄宏發
30th October 2008 (revised 3.11.08; 5.11.08; 17.11.08; 16.12.08; 25.2.09; 28.4.09)
Translated from the original - 劉禹錫: 竹枝詞 二首 其一 [*楊柳青青...]
1 楊柳青青江水平
2 聞郎江上唱歌聲
3 東邊日出西邊雨
4 道是無晴卻有晴
Notes:-
* The original poem is in 7-character lines. This English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet). The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original.
* Line 1: I had considered “Green, serene” but have decided that “Green, O green” is better for being more faithful to the original.
* Line 2: Following “love”, the word “beau” should be taken to mean lover or suitor only, and not dandy or fop.
* Line 4: The main difficulty in this line is that in Chinese, 晴 (meaning sunny) and 情 (meaning love, affection) have the same sound, thus creating, with 無 (no/not) and 有 (have/is), a double meaning of 無晴-有晴 and 無情-有情. I think my rendition has covered it well, particularly having written “songs from my love, my beau” in line 2. If “to me, the sun is aglow” is considered too subtle, an excellent alternative is “for me, my sun is aglow”
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28 April 2009
20 March 2009
崔護 Cui Hu: 題都城南莊 At a Homestead South of the Capital City
What follows is my latest translation. I hope you will enjoy it.
Cui Hu (circa 796): At a Homestead South of the Capital City/Reminiscence
1 ‘Twas today, at this doorway, a year ago,
2 Her face and peach-blows re-doubly aglow.
3 Her face is gone now, whereto unknown, yet
4 Peach-blows beam on as spring-winds flow.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
11th March 2009 (revised 12.3.09; 16.3.09; 19.3.09)
Translated from the original - 崔護: 題都城南莊/昔所見
1 去年今日此門中
2 人面桃花相映紅
3 人面不知(祇今)何處去
4 桃花依舊笑春風
Notes:
* The original is in 7-character lines. This English rendition is in tetrameter (4 metrical feet). The rhyme scheme is AAXA as in the original.
* Line 1: I had considered “portal”, “door”, “gate”, “front-door”, “doorstep”, “threshold”, “gateway”, etc. but have now decided for “doorway” to rhyme internally with “today”.
* Lines 2 and 3: I had considered “A/The face” for line 2 and “That face” for line 3 to retain the ambiguity of the original, but have decided for “Her face” to make the two lines personal (and a face by the peach flowers must belong to a young lady), yet not as personal as “Your face”.
* Lines 2 and 4: I had used “peach-blooms” but have now decided for “peach-blows”
* Line 2: I have interpreted 相 to mean both 共 “together”, “in unison”, etc. and 交互 “at each other/one another”, “mutual”, “reciprocal”, etc. and have coined the word “re-doubly” to translate 相映紅 as “re-doubly aglow”. If “re-doubly” is considered odd, an alternative is “redoubled their glow”.
* Line 3: I had used “I know not where” but have now decided for “whereto unknown”.
* Line 4: I had considered “still beam” but have decided for “beam on” to translate 依舊 “as of old”. I have interpreted 笑春風 to mean “smile/beam in the spring winds” and not “to laugh at the spring winds”. I have decided to use “flow”, instead of “blow”, to speak of the gentle spring winds.
Cui Hu (circa 796): At a Homestead South of the Capital City/Reminiscence
1 ‘Twas today, at this doorway, a year ago,
2 Her face and peach-blows re-doubly aglow.
3 Her face is gone now, whereto unknown, yet
4 Peach-blows beam on as spring-winds flow.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
11th March 2009 (revised 12.3.09; 16.3.09; 19.3.09)
Translated from the original - 崔護: 題都城南莊/昔所見
1 去年今日此門中
2 人面桃花相映紅
3 人面不知(祇今)何處去
4 桃花依舊笑春風
Notes:
* The original is in 7-character lines. This English rendition is in tetrameter (4 metrical feet). The rhyme scheme is AAXA as in the original.
* Line 1: I had considered “portal”, “door”, “gate”, “front-door”, “doorstep”, “threshold”, “gateway”, etc. but have now decided for “doorway” to rhyme internally with “today”.
* Lines 2 and 3: I had considered “A/The face” for line 2 and “That face” for line 3 to retain the ambiguity of the original, but have decided for “Her face” to make the two lines personal (and a face by the peach flowers must belong to a young lady), yet not as personal as “Your face”.
* Lines 2 and 4: I had used “peach-blooms” but have now decided for “peach-blows”
* Line 2: I have interpreted 相 to mean both 共 “together”, “in unison”, etc. and 交互 “at each other/one another”, “mutual”, “reciprocal”, etc. and have coined the word “re-doubly” to translate 相映紅 as “re-doubly aglow”. If “re-doubly” is considered odd, an alternative is “redoubled their glow”.
* Line 3: I had used “I know not where” but have now decided for “whereto unknown”.
* Line 4: I had considered “still beam” but have decided for “beam on” to translate 依舊 “as of old”. I have interpreted 笑春風 to mean “smile/beam in the spring winds” and not “to laugh at the spring winds”. I have decided to use “flow”, instead of “blow”, to speak of the gentle spring winds.
18 February 2009
王昌齡 Wang Changling: 芙蓉樓送辛漸 At the Lotus Inn to Bid Adieu to Xin Jian
I hope you will enjoy this rendition, particularly "My heart is ice immaculate, abiding in a vessel pristine" to translate "一片冰心在玉壺".
Wang Changling (698-757): At the Lotus Inn to Bid Adieu to Xin Jian
1 Tonight, into Wu, o’er the River, it rains of sleet so keen;
2 Come dawn alone you’ll depart, by the hills of Chu in between.
3 If my kin and kith in Louyang, should after me they ask, well
4 My heart is ice immaculate, abiding in a vessel pristine.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黄宏發
11th January 2009 (revised 13.1.09; 14.1.09; 15.1.09; 19.1.09; 18.2.09)
Translated from the original - 王昌齡: 芙蓉樓送辛漸
1 寒雨連江(天)夜入吳
2 平明送客楚山孤
3 洛陽親友如相問
4 一片冰心在玉壺
Notes:
* The original is in 7-character lines. This English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet). The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original.
* Title: I have taken 芙蓉 to refer to 水芙蓉 “lotus” rather than 木芙蓉 or 木槿 “hibiscus”, hence, “the Lotus Inn” to name the inn/restaurant situated at the north-western corner of the city wall of Zhenjiang 鎮江 on the south bank of and closest to the River 長江.
* Line 1: I have taken 夜入吳 “entering Wu at night” to mean 寒雨 “sleet” and not the poet or his friend Xin Jian or both of them entering Wu.
* Line 2: I have taken 楚山孤 (Chu hills alone/desolate) to mean the poet’s friend Xin Jian travelling through the hills of Chu “alone” and not to mean the “desolate” hills of Chu.
* Line 3: I had considered “family and friends” but have decided for “kin and kith” as the word “family” suggests wife and children which I do not believe is the poet’s meaning. I had considered “say”, “pray”, “oh” and “ah” as a connective, but have decided for “well”. Perhaps, I can do without the connective.
* Line 4: The image here is obviously 冰-ice清-clean玉-jade潔- clean. I have, therefore, added “immaculate/pure” to explain “ice” and omitted “jade” (which in this context should be “white jade” 白玉, but “jade” 玉 standing alone creates a mistaken green image) in favour of a “clean vessel”, hence, “vessel pristine”. I had considered “Like ice immaculate is my heart”, “My heart is like ice immaculate”, “As pure as ice is my heart”, “Pure like ice is my heart” and “Immaculate like ice is my heart”, but have decided for “My heart is ice immaculate”. I had considered “alive”, “vibrant”, “throbbing”, “vibrating” to go with “in a vessel pristine” so as to dispel any image of an “icy, cold heart” but decided that the adjectives “immaculate/pure” and “pristine” are powerful enough and that “alive” etc. would add too much to the meaning. I had then considered the plainer and more neutral words of “held”, “kept”, “laid”, “resting”, “lying” and “sitting” and have decided for “abiding”.
Wang Changling (698-757): At the Lotus Inn to Bid Adieu to Xin Jian
1 Tonight, into Wu, o’er the River, it rains of sleet so keen;
2 Come dawn alone you’ll depart, by the hills of Chu in between.
3 If my kin and kith in Louyang, should after me they ask, well
4 My heart is ice immaculate, abiding in a vessel pristine.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黄宏發
11th January 2009 (revised 13.1.09; 14.1.09; 15.1.09; 19.1.09; 18.2.09)
Translated from the original - 王昌齡: 芙蓉樓送辛漸
1 寒雨連江(天)夜入吳
2 平明送客楚山孤
3 洛陽親友如相問
4 一片冰心在玉壺
Notes:
* The original is in 7-character lines. This English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet). The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original.
* Title: I have taken 芙蓉 to refer to 水芙蓉 “lotus” rather than 木芙蓉 or 木槿 “hibiscus”, hence, “the Lotus Inn” to name the inn/restaurant situated at the north-western corner of the city wall of Zhenjiang 鎮江 on the south bank of and closest to the River 長江.
* Line 1: I have taken 夜入吳 “entering Wu at night” to mean 寒雨 “sleet” and not the poet or his friend Xin Jian or both of them entering Wu.
* Line 2: I have taken 楚山孤 (Chu hills alone/desolate) to mean the poet’s friend Xin Jian travelling through the hills of Chu “alone” and not to mean the “desolate” hills of Chu.
* Line 3: I had considered “family and friends” but have decided for “kin and kith” as the word “family” suggests wife and children which I do not believe is the poet’s meaning. I had considered “say”, “pray”, “oh” and “ah” as a connective, but have decided for “well”. Perhaps, I can do without the connective.
* Line 4: The image here is obviously 冰-ice清-clean玉-jade潔- clean. I have, therefore, added “immaculate/pure” to explain “ice” and omitted “jade” (which in this context should be “white jade” 白玉, but “jade” 玉 standing alone creates a mistaken green image) in favour of a “clean vessel”, hence, “vessel pristine”. I had considered “Like ice immaculate is my heart”, “My heart is like ice immaculate”, “As pure as ice is my heart”, “Pure like ice is my heart” and “Immaculate like ice is my heart”, but have decided for “My heart is ice immaculate”. I had considered “alive”, “vibrant”, “throbbing”, “vibrating” to go with “in a vessel pristine” so as to dispel any image of an “icy, cold heart” but decided that the adjectives “immaculate/pure” and “pristine” are powerful enough and that “alive” etc. would add too much to the meaning. I had then considered the plainer and more neutral words of “held”, “kept”, “laid”, “resting”, “lying” and “sitting” and have decided for “abiding”.
02 January 2009
李白 Li Bai: 黄鶴樓送孟浩然之廣陵 At the Yellow Crane Tower to Bid Meng Haoran Bon Voyage
Happy New Year! This is the 2nd day of 2009 and I am posting 2 renditions of Li Bai's "Yellow Crane Tower" so as to report to you how I failed in my first attempt of March 2007 soon after I picked up the hobby. Although I never posted it, I did share it with some of my friends. As if to comfort myself, I called it unorthodox. They agreed probably for the same reason.
Li Bai (701—762): At the Yellow Crane Tower: to Bid Meng Haoran Bon Voyage to Guangling
1 At the Tower of Yellow Crane, my friend, to the west you said goodbye,
2 In this misty, flowery early spring, for Yangzhou downstream you ply.
3 A speck, a silhouette is your lonely sail, to the verdant hills receding, till
4 In my eyes there’s only the long, Long River, rolling to the verge of the sky.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黄宏發
19th December 2008 (revised 22.12.08; 23.12.08; 29.12.08)
Translated from the original - 李白: 黄鶴樓送孟浩然之廣陵
1 故人西辭黄鶴樓
2 煙花三月下揚州
3 獨帆遠影碧山(空)盡
4 唯見長江天際流
Notes:
* This English rendition is in heptameter (7 metrical feet) to emulate the original 7-character lines. The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original. This in fact is the first poem I attempted since picking up the hobby in March 2007. This first attempt, revised up to August 2007, was never published and was abandoned as it is far too unorthodox. It is, however, reproduced below in the note on the abandoned translation to record my failure.
* Title: “Yellow Crane Tower” or “Tower of Yellow Crane” is in present-day Wuhan in Hubei Province to the west of “Guangling” or “Yangzhou”. Meng Haoran, also a poet, was a friend of Li Bai’s. Guangling is present-day Yangzhou in Jiangsu Province and was then also known as Yangzhou, hence, its appearance in the text in line 2.
* Line 2: I had considered “the mists and blossoms of March and April” but have decided to use “this misty, flowery early spring”to translate 煙花三月, 三月 being the third month on the lunar calendar. Other translations have vatriously adopted “March” or “April”.“Yangzhou” can be replaced by “the City”or “the Grand City” or even “Youngborough”, which I do not prefer.
* Line 3: I have adopted the 碧山 “verdant hills” version instead of the 碧空 “heavens azure” or “blue void” version. I had considered “fading into the verdant hills” and “to the verdant hills you recede”, but have decided for “to the verdant hills receding”.
* Line 4: The word “my” should be pronounced unstressed as “mi”. The first “long (長)” is added to recognize that it was the poet’s conscious choice to describe the river as long. He could have described it as “grand (大)”. 江 (river) was the original name of this particular river. With this first “long”, the second “Long” should be unstressed.
* The abandoned translation of March 2007 revised up to August 2007:
1.1 Alas! my friend, for years my best,
1.2 You bade farewell to your native west,
1.3 At the Yellow Crane Tower, we parted.
2.1 Willows are misting, flowers in splendour,
2.2 In this third month on the lunar calendar,
2.3 Downstream to Yangzhou, you departed.
3.1 The solitary sail for you they set,
3.2 By now, is but a distant silhouette,
3.3 Fading into the hills and heavens azure.
4.1 And the only sight remaining clear,
4.2 Is the vista of the River long and drear,
4.3 Rolling to where the horizons obscure.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
29th March 2007 (revised 4.4.07; 10.4.07; 26.4.07; 10.5.07; 14.5.07 27.07:17.7.07; 18.7.07; 23.7.07; 30.7.07; 14.8.07)
Li Bai (701—762): At the Yellow Crane Tower: to Bid Meng Haoran Bon Voyage to Guangling
1 At the Tower of Yellow Crane, my friend, to the west you said goodbye,
2 In this misty, flowery early spring, for Yangzhou downstream you ply.
3 A speck, a silhouette is your lonely sail, to the verdant hills receding, till
4 In my eyes there’s only the long, Long River, rolling to the verge of the sky.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黄宏發
19th December 2008 (revised 22.12.08; 23.12.08; 29.12.08)
Translated from the original - 李白: 黄鶴樓送孟浩然之廣陵
1 故人西辭黄鶴樓
2 煙花三月下揚州
3 獨帆遠影碧山(空)盡
4 唯見長江天際流
Notes:
* This English rendition is in heptameter (7 metrical feet) to emulate the original 7-character lines. The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original. This in fact is the first poem I attempted since picking up the hobby in March 2007. This first attempt, revised up to August 2007, was never published and was abandoned as it is far too unorthodox. It is, however, reproduced below in the note on the abandoned translation to record my failure.
* Title: “Yellow Crane Tower” or “Tower of Yellow Crane” is in present-day Wuhan in Hubei Province to the west of “Guangling” or “Yangzhou”. Meng Haoran, also a poet, was a friend of Li Bai’s. Guangling is present-day Yangzhou in Jiangsu Province and was then also known as Yangzhou, hence, its appearance in the text in line 2.
* Line 2: I had considered “the mists and blossoms of March and April” but have decided to use “this misty, flowery early spring”to translate 煙花三月, 三月 being the third month on the lunar calendar. Other translations have vatriously adopted “March” or “April”.“Yangzhou” can be replaced by “the City”or “the Grand City” or even “Youngborough”, which I do not prefer.
* Line 3: I have adopted the 碧山 “verdant hills” version instead of the 碧空 “heavens azure” or “blue void” version. I had considered “fading into the verdant hills” and “to the verdant hills you recede”, but have decided for “to the verdant hills receding”.
* Line 4: The word “my” should be pronounced unstressed as “mi”. The first “long (長)” is added to recognize that it was the poet’s conscious choice to describe the river as long. He could have described it as “grand (大)”. 江 (river) was the original name of this particular river. With this first “long”, the second “Long” should be unstressed.
* The abandoned translation of March 2007 revised up to August 2007:
1.1 Alas! my friend, for years my best,
1.2 You bade farewell to your native west,
1.3 At the Yellow Crane Tower, we parted.
2.1 Willows are misting, flowers in splendour,
2.2 In this third month on the lunar calendar,
2.3 Downstream to Yangzhou, you departed.
3.1 The solitary sail for you they set,
3.2 By now, is but a distant silhouette,
3.3 Fading into the hills and heavens azure.
4.1 And the only sight remaining clear,
4.2 Is the vista of the River long and drear,
4.3 Rolling to where the horizons obscure.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
29th March 2007 (revised 4.4.07; 10.4.07; 26.4.07; 10.5.07; 14.5.07 27.07:17.7.07; 18.7.07; 23.7.07; 30.7.07; 14.8.07)
04 December 2008
李白 Li Bai: 夜思 Night Thoughts
POSTSCRIPT 3 (10.11.2017): Thanks to my friend John Lau who recently urged me to reconsider my interpretation of 床 as "well railings", hence, "well". I have now decided to revert to my original "bed" interpretation and return to my original, more literal rendition, albeit slightly polished. My reasons will be given in my notes yet to be revised. The revised rendition is as follows:-
Li Bai (701-762): Night Thoughts
1 Before my bed, the moon shines bright;
2 Be it frost aground? I suppose it might.
3 I lift my head, the moon to behold, then
4 Lower it, musing: I'm homesick tonight.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
27th November 2008 (revised 28.11.08; 4.12 08; 5.12.08; 8.12.08; 10.11.2017)
1 Before my bed, the moonlight so bright,
2 Be it frost aground, I suppose it might.
3 I raise my head, the moon for to behold, then
4 Lower it, brooding -- I'm homesick tonight.
ORIGINAL POST (4.12.2008)
The following is probably the most popular Chinese quatrain. It is by Li Bai (or Li Po) of the Tang dynasty. The title is "Night Thoughts" or "Thoughts at Night". My first attempt was in June last year which I found unsatisfactory. This is my second attempt (the first attempt is in the notes).
Li Bai (701--762): Night Thoughts
1 Before my bed, the moonlight so bright,
2 Be frost on the ground, I suppose it might.
3 I raise my head and the moon I behold, then
4 I lower it, brooding: I’m homesick tonight.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
27th November 2008 (revised 28.11.08)
Translated from the original - 李白: (靜)夜思
1 床前明(看)月光
2 疑是地上霜
3 舉頭望明(山)月
4 低頭思故鄉
Notes:-
* The original poem is in 5-character lines. This English rendition is in tetrameter (4 metrical feet). The rhyme scheme is AAXA as in the original. Below is an older translation of mine penned last year in June and revised in December. It is in hexameter (6 metrical feet) and features two couplets (rhyme scheme AABB):-
Li Bai (701--762): Thoughts in the Still of the Night
1 So luminous is the moonlight on the floor before my bed,
2 And so white that, apparently, the ground is frosted instead.
3 I raise my head to gaze at the moon, o’er the hilltop, so bright;
4 I drop it in thoughts of my homeland, in the still of the night, tonight.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
6 June 2007 (revised 9.6.07; 3.12.07; 5.12.07)
* Title and lines 3 and 4 of the old translation: Popularly entitled 夜思, but older versions entitle it 靜夜思, with the additional character 靜 (still, quiet, silent, etc.), hence, the old title “Thoughts in the Still of the night” and the addition of “in the still of the night, tonight” to line 4 of the old translation. Older versions of the poem feature 山月(hill + moon) instead of 明月(bright moon). The old translation of line 3 covers both meanings.
* Line 2: The word “it” appeared twice in draft. I have now deleted the “it” between “Be” and“frost”. I had considered “guess” but have decided for “suppose”.
* Line 4: I had considered “musing” but have decided for “brooding”.
Li Bai (701-762): Night Thoughts
1 Before my bed, the moon shines bright;
2 Be it frost aground? I suppose it might.
3 I lift my head, the moon to behold, then
4 Lower it, musing: I'm homesick tonight.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
27th November 2008 (revised 28.11.08; 4.12 08; 5.12.08; 8.12.08; 10.11.2017)
POSTSCRIPT 2 (8.12.2008): I have further revised my new translation of Li Bai's Night Thoughts. The poem now reads-
Li Bai (701-762): Night Thoughts
1 Before the well, the moonlight so bright,
2 Be it frost aground? I suppose it might.
3 I raise my eyes towards the silvery moon, then
4 Lower them, musing: I'm homesick tonight.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者:黃宏發
27th November 2008 (revised 28.11.08; 4.12.08; 5.12.08; 8.12.08)
Notes:-
* Line 1: The word 床 should mean “railings of the well”, not “bed”, as in line 4 of another poem also by Li Bai, i.e. “遶床弄青梅” or “Round and round the well we pelted each other with green plums” in 長干行 Ballad of Changgan, translated by Innes Herdan, p. 108 of her three Hundred Tang Poems, Taipei: Far East, 1973, 2000. In that context, only “well” makes sense. Even here, “well” makes better sense as one’s bedside rarely gets frosted. But I have to say that to bow to the popular “bedside” interpretation is understandable. “Before my bed” is, therefore, also acceptable.
* Line 2: The first “it” can be deleted from between “Be” and “frost” but I prefer its retention. I had considered “guess” but have decided for “suppose”.
* Line 3: I have chosen to translate 頭 “head” as “eyes” to make it possible for me to compress the pentameter (5 feet) “I raise my head to eye the silvery moon, then” which is what the original poem says, into a tetrameter (4 feet) “I lift my eyes towards the silvery moon, then”
* Line 4: I had used “brooding” which is on the dark side, but have now decided for “musing” which is natural, neutral and ambiguous.
Li Bai (701-762): Night Thoughts
1 Before the well, the moonlight so bright,
2 Be it frost aground? I suppose it might.
3 I raise my eyes towards the silvery moon, then
4 Lower them, musing: I'm homesick tonight.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者:黃宏發
27th November 2008 (revised 28.11.08; 4.12.08; 5.12.08; 8.12.08)
Notes:-
* Line 1: The word 床 should mean “railings of the well”, not “bed”, as in line 4 of another poem also by Li Bai, i.e. “遶床弄青梅” or “Round and round the well we pelted each other with green plums” in 長干行 Ballad of Changgan, translated by Innes Herdan, p. 108 of her three Hundred Tang Poems, Taipei: Far East, 1973, 2000. In that context, only “well” makes sense. Even here, “well” makes better sense as one’s bedside rarely gets frosted. But I have to say that to bow to the popular “bedside” interpretation is understandable. “Before my bed” is, therefore, also acceptable.
* Line 2: The first “it” can be deleted from between “Be” and “frost” but I prefer its retention. I had considered “guess” but have decided for “suppose”.
* Line 3: I have chosen to translate 頭 “head” as “eyes” to make it possible for me to compress the pentameter (5 feet) “I raise my head to eye the silvery moon, then” which is what the original poem says, into a tetrameter (4 feet) “I lift my eyes towards the silvery moon, then”
* Line 4: I had used “brooding” which is on the dark side, but have now decided for “musing” which is natural, neutral and ambiguous.
POSTSCRIPT I (5.12.2008): I now have second thoughts on this new translation and have revised lines 2, 3 and 4. The poem now reads:-
1 Before my bed, the moonlight so bright,
2 Be it frost aground, I suppose it might.
3 I raise my head, the moon for to behold, then
4 Lower it, brooding -- I'm homesick tonight.
Sorry, I have now deleted the word "for" in line 3 which now reads: "I raise my head the moon to behold, then".
The following is probably the most popular Chinese quatrain. It is by Li Bai (or Li Po) of the Tang dynasty. The title is "Night Thoughts" or "Thoughts at Night". My first attempt was in June last year which I found unsatisfactory. This is my second attempt (the first attempt is in the notes).
Li Bai (701--762): Night Thoughts
1 Before my bed, the moonlight so bright,
2 Be frost on the ground, I suppose it might.
3 I raise my head and the moon I behold, then
4 I lower it, brooding: I’m homesick tonight.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
27th November 2008 (revised 28.11.08)
Translated from the original - 李白: (靜)夜思
1 床前明(看)月光
2 疑是地上霜
3 舉頭望明(山)月
4 低頭思故鄉
Notes:-
* The original poem is in 5-character lines. This English rendition is in tetrameter (4 metrical feet). The rhyme scheme is AAXA as in the original. Below is an older translation of mine penned last year in June and revised in December. It is in hexameter (6 metrical feet) and features two couplets (rhyme scheme AABB):-
Li Bai (701--762): Thoughts in the Still of the Night
1 So luminous is the moonlight on the floor before my bed,
2 And so white that, apparently, the ground is frosted instead.
3 I raise my head to gaze at the moon, o’er the hilltop, so bright;
4 I drop it in thoughts of my homeland, in the still of the night, tonight.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
6 June 2007 (revised 9.6.07; 3.12.07; 5.12.07)
* Title and lines 3 and 4 of the old translation: Popularly entitled 夜思, but older versions entitle it 靜夜思, with the additional character 靜 (still, quiet, silent, etc.), hence, the old title “Thoughts in the Still of the night” and the addition of “in the still of the night, tonight” to line 4 of the old translation. Older versions of the poem feature 山月(hill + moon) instead of 明月(bright moon). The old translation of line 3 covers both meanings.
* Line 2: The word “it” appeared twice in draft. I have now deleted the “it” between “Be” and“frost”. I had considered “guess” but have decided for “suppose”.
* Line 4: I had considered “musing” but have decided for “brooding”.
20 November 2008
賀知章 He Zhizhang: 詠柳 An Ode to the Willow
Below is my latest translation, a quatrain by an early Tang poet He Zhizhang.
He Zhizhang (659-744): An Ode to the Willow
1 Up to your crown, O willow, dressed in the green of jades,
2 Myriads of twigs so verdant, droop like your silken braids.
3 Who knows who the tailor is, who’s cut your leaves so fine? It’s
4 The vernal winds past February, sharp as the scissors’ blades.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黄宏發
20th November 2008
Translated from the original - 賀知章: 詠柳
1 碧玉妝成一樹高
2 萬條垂下綠絲縧
3 不知細葉誰裁出
4 二月春風似剪刀
Notes:-
* The original is in 7-character lines. This English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet). The rhyme scheme is AAXA as in the original.
* Line 1: I take 一樹高 to mean “to the top of the tree” or “the whole tree” and not “a tall tree”, hence, the phrase “Up to your crown”, “crown” means “head”.
* Line 2: I had considered “hair in braids” but have decided for “silken braids”.
* Line 3: I had considered “master” but have decided for “tailor”.
* Line 4: I have used “past February” as 二月 the second lunar month approximates the solar month of March.
He Zhizhang (659-744): An Ode to the Willow
1 Up to your crown, O willow, dressed in the green of jades,
2 Myriads of twigs so verdant, droop like your silken braids.
3 Who knows who the tailor is, who’s cut your leaves so fine? It’s
4 The vernal winds past February, sharp as the scissors’ blades.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黄宏發
20th November 2008
Translated from the original - 賀知章: 詠柳
1 碧玉妝成一樹高
2 萬條垂下綠絲縧
3 不知細葉誰裁出
4 二月春風似剪刀
Notes:-
* The original is in 7-character lines. This English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet). The rhyme scheme is AAXA as in the original.
* Line 1: I take 一樹高 to mean “to the top of the tree” or “the whole tree” and not “a tall tree”, hence, the phrase “Up to your crown”, “crown” means “head”.
* Line 2: I had considered “hair in braids” but have decided for “silken braids”.
* Line 3: I had considered “master” but have decided for “tailor”.
* Line 4: I have used “past February” as 二月 the second lunar month approximates the solar month of March.
15 October 2008
李商隱 Li Shangyin: 登樂遊原 Ascending the Pleasurable Plateau
Below is my latest translation which is my first attempt at a poem by Li Shangyin of the late Tang Dynasty. I hope you will enjoy it.
Li Shangyin (813-858): Ascending the Pleasurable Plateau
1 It’s late in the day, my heart’s not well at ease;
2 To the ancient plateau, up, in a carriage I go.
3 (Sublime is the beauty of the sun while yet unset,)
Sublime is the time while the sun is yet to set; (revised 30.10.17)
4 Too soon, alas, is dusky darkness to follow.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
9th October 2008 (revised 10.10.08; 13.10.08; 15.10.08; 30.10.17)
Translated from the original - 李商隱: 登樂遊原
1 向晚意不適
2 驅車登古原
3 夕陽無限好
4 只是近黃昏
Notes:
* This English rendition is in pentameter (5 metrical feet) to emulate the original 5-character lines. The rhyme scheme is XAXA which I surmise the original to be. I am grateful to Gabriel C.M. Yu 余志明 for pointing out to me that in the 文淵閣四庫全書電子版 明楊慎撰 古音獵要卷二: “昏 音玄…”. It should also be noted that “go” and “follow” here is an unstressed (feminine) rhyme.
* Line 1: I had considered “my mind is ill at ease”, but have decided for “my heart’s not well at ease”.
* Line 2: I had considered “plateau of old” and “by carriage”, but have decided for “ancient plateau” and “in a carriage”.
* Line 3: I had considered “boundless” versus “sublime” versus “infinite”, and “beauty” versus “splendour”, and have decided for “sublime is the beauty”. I had also considered “ere it sets”, “before it sets”, “about to set”, “soon to set” and “as yet unset”, but have decided for “while yet unset”.
* Line 4: I had considered “dusk and darkness”, “dusk then darkness” and “dusky evening”, but have decided for “dusky darkness”, an unusual expression coined to remind us that “dusk” is “the darker stage of twilight at night or in the morning” (Shorter Oxford Dictionary) which, in this context, leads on to dark night. For the expression 黃昏 which means evening, not dawn, I have chosen to use 昏=dark only, and not 黃=yellow. A superb alternative, albeit at the expense of the alliteration in “dusky darkness”, is “dusky evening”.
Li Shangyin (813-858): Ascending the Pleasurable Plateau
1 It’s late in the day, my heart’s not well at ease;
2 To the ancient plateau, up, in a carriage I go.
3 (Sublime is the beauty of the sun while yet unset,)
Sublime is the time while the sun is yet to set; (revised 30.10.17)
4 Too soon, alas, is dusky darkness to follow.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
9th October 2008 (revised 10.10.08; 13.10.08; 15.10.08; 30.10.17)
Translated from the original - 李商隱: 登樂遊原
1 向晚意不適
2 驅車登古原
3 夕陽無限好
4 只是近黃昏
* This English rendition is in pentameter (5 metrical feet) to emulate the original 5-character lines. The rhyme scheme is XAXA which I surmise the original to be. I am grateful to Gabriel C.M. Yu 余志明 for pointing out to me that in the 文淵閣四庫全書電子版 明楊慎撰 古音獵要卷二: “昏 音玄…”. It should also be noted that “go” and “follow” here is an unstressed (feminine) rhyme.
* Line 1: I had considered “my mind is ill at ease”, but have decided for “my heart’s not well at ease”.
* Line 2: I had considered “plateau of old” and “by carriage”, but have decided for “ancient plateau” and “in a carriage”.
* Line 3: I had considered “boundless” versus “sublime” versus “infinite”, and “beauty” versus “splendour”, and have decided for “sublime is the beauty”. I had also considered “ere it sets”, “before it sets”, “about to set”, “soon to set” and “as yet unset”, but have decided for “while yet unset”.
* Line 4: I had considered “dusk and darkness”, “dusk then darkness” and “dusky evening”, but have decided for “dusky darkness”, an unusual expression coined to remind us that “dusk” is “the darker stage of twilight at night or in the morning” (Shorter Oxford Dictionary) which, in this context, leads on to dark night. For the expression 黃昏 which means evening, not dawn, I have chosen to use 昏=dark only, and not 黃=yellow. A superb alternative, albeit at the expense of the alliteration in “dusky darkness”, is “dusky evening”.
18 September 2008
李白 Li Bai: 贈汪倫 To Wang Lun
Below is my rendition of Li Bai's "To Wang Lun" which is a beautiful friendship poem. You will notice that I have discarded the original rendition which was in couplets inconsistent with Tang poetry.
Li Bai (701—762): To Wang Lun
1 A boat I have boarded, Li Bai am I, and I’m all set to go,
2 When suddenly from on shore a din I hear, of stomping and singing I know.
3 The water in the Pool of Peach Blossoms is as deep as a thousand feet,
4 Deep not as the parting sentiments, to me, Wang Lun, you show.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
26 May 2007 (revised 27.5.07; 5.12.07; 13.12.07; 22.2.08)
Translated from the original - 李白: 贈汪倫
1 李白乘舟將欲行
2 忽聞岸上踏歌聲
3 桃花潭水深千尺
4 不及汪倫送我情
Notes:-
* This English rendition is in heptameter (7 metrical feet) to emulate the original 7-character lines. When reading it, I suggest accenting both “all” and set” in line 1 and “Deep” and “not” in line 4. The rhyme scheme is AAXA, more demanding than the original XAXA.
* Line 2: I am prepared to have “stomping and singing” replaced by “tapping and singing” if it can be said that the Chinese people in Tang dynasty, or at least Wang Lun, tap-danced. An alternative is “a dancing songster”, but I am satisfied with “stomping and singing”.
* Line 4: An alternative which I first penned on 26.5.07 is “Deep not as Wang Lun’s affection, your fond/warm adieu I meet”, but it turns the rhyme scheme into AABB which sounds great, but I prefer AAXA as classical Chinese quatrains (4-line verses) follow either AAXA or XAXA with a more or less mandatory "change" in the 3rd line.
Li Bai (701—762): To Wang Lun
1 A boat I have boarded, Li Bai am I, and I’m all set to go,
2 When suddenly from on shore a din I hear, of stomping and singing I know.
3 The water in the Pool of Peach Blossoms is as deep as a thousand feet,
4 Deep not as the parting sentiments, to me, Wang Lun, you show.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
26 May 2007 (revised 27.5.07; 5.12.07; 13.12.07; 22.2.08)
Translated from the original - 李白: 贈汪倫
1 李白乘舟將欲行
2 忽聞岸上踏歌聲
3 桃花潭水深千尺
4 不及汪倫送我情
Notes:-
* This English rendition is in heptameter (7 metrical feet) to emulate the original 7-character lines. When reading it, I suggest accenting both “all” and set” in line 1 and “Deep” and “not” in line 4. The rhyme scheme is AAXA, more demanding than the original XAXA.
* Line 2: I am prepared to have “stomping and singing” replaced by “tapping and singing” if it can be said that the Chinese people in Tang dynasty, or at least Wang Lun, tap-danced. An alternative is “a dancing songster”, but I am satisfied with “stomping and singing”.
* Line 4: An alternative which I first penned on 26.5.07 is “Deep not as Wang Lun’s affection, your fond/warm adieu I meet”, but it turns the rhyme scheme into AABB which sounds great, but I prefer AAXA as classical Chinese quatrains (4-line verses) follow either AAXA or XAXA with a more or less mandatory "change" in the 3rd line.
29 August 2008
杜甫 Du Fu: 絕句 2首 其2 (4- 何日是歸年) A Quatrain, II of Two (In streams so aqua ...)
Sorry for the late posting. Here is one by Du Fu, the second of his Two Quatrains usually known by the first line "In streams so aqua, the whiter the birds appear", but I find the last line "What year be the day I return to whence I came" so much more appealing.
Du Fu (712-770): A Quatrain, II of Two (In streams so aqua ...)
1 In streams so aqua, the whiter the birds appear,
2 On hills so green, red flowers bloom as in flame.
3 This spring, it seems, is again soon to pass,
4 What year be the day I return to whence I came?
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
13 June 2008 (revised 16.6.09; 18.6.08)
Translated from the original - 杜甫: 絕句 2首 其2 ( )
1 江 鳥逾白
2 山青花欲然
3 今春看又過
4 何日是歸年
Notes:
* This English rendition is in pentameter (5 metrical feet) to emulate the original 5-character lines and the rhyme scheme is XAXA as is in the original.
* Line 2: The Chinese character 然 here means 燃 with a 火=fire to the left meaning “burn” or "flame". I have chosen "flame" as it conveys more vividly the colour contrast of “the-bluer-the-whiter, the-greener-the-redder” through association with the red flame-flower, the red flowers of the flame azalea and trees called the flame of the forest. In a way, the word “red” in the line is superfluous. It is included for clarity and it does not affect the pentameter as, by convention, “red” here should be read unaccented.
* Line 3: I had originally used “set” instead of “soon”. I have, however, interpreted the line to mean “今年的春天,看來,又[快要]過去了” as in the school children's rhyme “春天不是讀書天/夏日炎炎正好眠/等到秋來冬又(=快要)至(=到來))/還是收拾書包好過年”, hence, “is again soon to pass” to include both “again” and “soon” with the word “is” subtly suggesting the inevitability of spring passing.
* Line 4: The expression “whence I came” (which is grammatically correct) can be changed, without affecting the meter, to “from whence I came”. According to Webster’s Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary, “the idiom ‘from whence’ is old in the language, well established and standard’ and used by many including ‘the King James Bible, Shakespeare, Dryden, and Dickens.” I dropped the word “from” for the simple reason that, with it, the line looks too long.
Du Fu (712-770): A Quatrain, II of Two (In streams so aqua ...)
1 In streams so aqua, the whiter the birds appear,
2 On hills so green, red flowers bloom as in flame.
3 This spring, it seems, is again soon to pass,
4 What year be the day I return to whence I came?
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
13 June 2008 (revised 16.6.09; 18.6.08)
Translated from the original - 杜甫: 絕句 2首 其2 ( )
1 江 鳥逾白
2 山青花欲然
3 今春看又過
4 何日是歸年
Notes:
* This English rendition is in pentameter (5 metrical feet) to emulate the original 5-character lines and the rhyme scheme is XAXA as is in the original.
* Line 2: The Chinese character 然 here means 燃 with a 火=fire to the left meaning “burn” or "flame". I have chosen "flame" as it conveys more vividly the colour contrast of “the-bluer-the-whiter, the-greener-the-redder” through association with the red flame-flower, the red flowers of the flame azalea and trees called the flame of the forest. In a way, the word “red” in the line is superfluous. It is included for clarity and it does not affect the pentameter as, by convention, “red” here should be read unaccented.
* Line 3: I had originally used “set” instead of “soon”. I have, however, interpreted the line to mean “今年的春天,看來,又[快要]過去了” as in the school children's rhyme “春天不是讀書天/夏日炎炎正好眠/等到秋來冬又(=快要)至(=到來))/還是收拾書包好過年”, hence, “is again soon to pass” to include both “again” and “soon” with the word “is” subtly suggesting the inevitability of spring passing.
* Line 4: The expression “whence I came” (which is grammatically correct) can be changed, without affecting the meter, to “from whence I came”. According to Webster’s Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary, “the idiom ‘from whence’ is old in the language, well established and standard’ and used by many including ‘the King James Bible, Shakespeare, Dryden, and Dickens.” I dropped the word “from” for the simple reason that, with it, the line looks too long.
23 July 2008
柳宗元 Liu Zongyuan: 江雪 River-Snow
The following is my rendition of another very famous poem of the Tang Dynasty, River-Snow by Liu Zongyuan. I hope you will enjoy it.
Liu Zongyuan (773-819): River-Snow
1 In the thousand hills and hillocks, birds are not in flight,
2 On myriads of paths and pathways, no trace of men in sight.
3 Yet in a lone-boat, a fisher-folk, in broad-hat and straw-cloak sits
4 And, all alone, he angles, the river-snow, its iciness, despite.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
15 June 2008 (revised 16.6.08; 19.6.08; 21.6.08; 19.7.08)
Translated from the original - 柳宗元: 江雪
1 千山鳥飛絕
2 萬徑人蹤滅
3 孤舟簑笠翁
4 獨釣寒江雪
Notes:
* The rhyme scheme of this English rendition is AAXA which I believe the original to be. I have been unable to render the poem in pentameter (5 metrical feet) to emulate the original 5-character lines. So, hexameter (6 metrical feet) it is.
* Lines 1 and 2: The redundant words of “and hillocks” and “and pathways” are added to convey the sense of “many-and-all hills and paths” and, of course, to complete the hexameter.
* Lines 3 and 4: The words of “Yet”, “sits” and “despite” are not in the original, but their meaning can reasonably be implied.
Liu Zongyuan (773-819): River-Snow
1 In the thousand hills and hillocks, birds are not in flight,
2 On myriads of paths and pathways, no trace of men in sight.
3 Yet in a lone-boat, a fisher-folk, in broad-hat and straw-cloak sits
4 And, all alone, he angles, the river-snow, its iciness, despite.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
15 June 2008 (revised 16.6.08; 19.6.08; 21.6.08; 19.7.08)
Translated from the original - 柳宗元: 江雪
1 千山鳥飛絕
2 萬徑人蹤滅
3 孤舟簑笠翁
4 獨釣寒江雪
Notes:
* The rhyme scheme of this English rendition is AAXA which I believe the original to be. I have been unable to render the poem in pentameter (5 metrical feet) to emulate the original 5-character lines. So, hexameter (6 metrical feet) it is.
* Lines 1 and 2: The redundant words of “and hillocks” and “and pathways” are added to convey the sense of “many-and-all hills and paths” and, of course, to complete the hexameter.
* Lines 3 and 4: The words of “Yet”, “sits” and “despite” are not in the original, but their meaning can reasonably be implied.
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