06 September 2014

李白 Li Bai: 夏日山中 A Summer Day in the Mountains

Was Li Bai a "nudist"?  Was he, the greatest of all lyrical poets (I believe) not only a drunkard but also a "nudist"?  I really have no idea.  But this question of mine may be the best answer to the question (raised by my friends, resulting in this my translation): Why is this beautiful poem so well known among translators in the West, yet so unfamiliar to the Chinese?  The answer may well be because it is not included in the popular anthologies such as "300 Tang Poems"; but this, again, begs the question. Why is it not in the popular anthologies?  Anathema, I suppose.

In the poem, Li Bai nowhere advocates "nudism"; he simply wishes to relax in a cool place and in a cool, not necessarily conventional, manner----undressed.  Nowadays, although we have air-conditioning to counter the summer heat, we still need to relax, to be free, easy and unrestrained in the first place. This, I believe, is Li Bai's message.  I have used the word "idle/idling".  Can you think of a better word?  Now just relax, and enjoy being idle!   

 Li Ba0i (701-762:  A Summer Day in the Mountains

1    Too lazy to wave my fan of white plumes;
2    Rather, go naked, ‘neath the greenwood trees,
3    With my headcloth undone, on a stone wall hung,
4    Idling, bare-headed, in the pine-filled breeze.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa)          譯者: 黄宏發
20th August 2014 (revised 21.8.14; 22.8.14)
Translated from the original - 李白: 夏日山中

1    懶搖白羽扇
2    裸體()青林中
3    脫巾掛石壁
4    露頂灑松風

*Meter and rhyme:  This English rendition is in tetrameter while the original is in 5-character lines.  The rhyme scheme is XAXA as in the original.  Although the “trees-breeze” rhyme is more than over-used, I still find it fits the poem rather perfectly.
*Line 1: “lazy” in 懶搖 must mean “not to” and is most aptly translated as “too lazy to”.  I happen to have read on the web (I was travelling and had no access to my books) the renditions of the poem by 3 great translators of Chinese poetry; only Burton Watson has it right with his “too lazy to” while Arthur Waley has it as “gently I stir” and Stephen Owen, “lazily waving”. For the word , thanks to a friend Flavia Cheng, I have chosen “wave” which is in agreement with Watson (wave) and Owen (waving).  For in 羽扇, as  plumes are larger than feathers and more suited to the making of fans, I have, like Watson, chosen “plume(s)” to translate while both Waley and Owen have chosen “feather(s)”. 
*Line 2:  For 裸體 or 裸袒 I had originally penned “bare-backed” but have decided to borrow “go naked” from Flavia Cheng.  I had then penned "Go naked instead", but have now decided for "Rather, go naked".  For 青林中 I had originally penned “in the grove of green trees”, then revised “in the green grove of trees”.  I consider it necessary to add the word “trees” to make the “trees-breeze” rhyme, as there is no better word than “breeze” for line 4.  I have, therefore, decided to change the “in the . . . grove” formulation to that of “’neath . . . trees”, thus, “’neath the greenwood trees”. .”  “Greenwood” is defined, in the Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, as “woodland, esp. in summer” and is, thus, perfect for 青林, although also defined as “forest in full leaf, esp. as the home of outlaws in olden times”.  This reminds me of a few lines in an old English ballad: “As Robin Hood in the forest strayed,/ All under the greenwood tree,/ He was aware of a brave young man,/ As fine as fine might be.”  I must have borrowed from it.
*Line 3:  For “towel” or cloth” which refers to 頭巾 “cloth for the head”, I had originally written “headband”, but have now decided to borrow from Burton Watson his “headcloth” which should be acceptable as the loincloth’s counterpart for the head.
*Line 4: For 露頂 “bare top/head”, I had considered “hair down” but have decided for “bare-headed”.  I believe the word (sprinkle, spray, spill, shed, etc.) must be understood in terms of 灑脫 (free and easy) and/or 瀟灑 (natural and unrestrained), both adjectives while the word in question is clearly a verb.  I had originally considered but rejected “basking . . . in the . . . breeze” (as one can only bask in the sun); I had also considered and rejected “bathing . . . in the . . .  breeze” (as this may be taken to mean actually bathing).  I then translated 灑松風 into modern Mandarin Chinese as 在松風裡,悠然自得 or colloquially as 在松風裡,閑着 and have come to the conclusion that 閑着 (idle) best conveys the message of “free, easy, natural, unrestrained”, thus, “Idling, bare-headed, in the pine-filled breeze”.                    

08 August 2014

盧綸 Lu Lun: 塞下曲 其一 Border Songs I

I am saddened to have to inform you that the lady protagonist of my dear friend Chen Tien Chi's love poem (Ru Meng Ling or As If Dreaming 如夢令 in my July 2014 post), his wife Mrs. Pearl Kong Chen 江獻珠, passed away in peace on 21 July 2014.  I will always remember the dinners Pearl cooked for us or took us to, not just because she was an expert gourmet and expert chef, but more for the love and care she put into her cooking and her selections.  May the good Lord bless and keep her.  May she rest in eternal peace.

Mrs. Pearl Kong Chen's Memorial Service will be held on Sunday, 10 August 2014 at the Chung Chi College Chapel, The Chinese University of Hong Kong at 3 p.m.  A Celebration of Life Dinner will also be held that evening.

Today, I am posting No. I of the six Border Songs written by Tang dynasty poet Lu Lun.  The rendition has not been easy; every line poses at least one problem as will be seen in my explanatory notes.  I hope I have done a fair job, and do hope you will enjoy it.  Here we go:-
Lu Lun (748-800?):  Border Songs I

1    (Bedecked with vulture feathers, of gold, his arrow;)
      Bedecked with vulture feathers, his golden arrow;  (revised 24.8.14)
2    Swallow-tailed, embroidered, his banners flow.
3    Alone he stands, proclaims his new command, to
4    His thousand warriors' battle cry----Onward go!

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa)     譯者黃宏發
13th June 2013 (revised 14.6.13; 17.6.13; 19.6.13; 20.6.13; 8.8.2014)
Translated from the Chinese original - 盧綸塞下曲 其一

1        鷲翎金僕姑
2        燕尾繡蝥弧
3        獨立揚新令
4        千營共一呼

*    This English rendition is in pentameter (5 metrical feet) while the original is in 5-character lines.  The rhyme scheme is AAXA as in the original.
*    Line 1:  僕姑 is the name of an arrow mentioned in the ancient Chinese classic 左傳 (莊十一年) and is rendered simply as “arrow.”  It is rendered in the singular primarily because I have interpreted the arrow in this context to be a 令箭 “arrow shaped (or arrow used as) token of authority over the army” akin to 兵符 “commander’s tally used for deploying and commanding armed forces.”  Based on this interpretation, I have used the noble word “gold” (instead of “metal”) to translate and have rendered it as “of gold” over “golden” or “gold-tipped.”  For the same reason, I have used the ornamental “bedecked” instead of the technically correct “fletched” (fletchings being feathers attached to arrows) to refer to the vulture feathers.
*    Line 2:  蝥弧 is the name of a flag mentioned in the ancient Chinese classic 左傳 (隱十一年) and is rendered as “banners” with the implied word “flow” added.  I had considered but dropped the alternative of “his colours/banners fly so.”
*    Line 3:  I had originally penned “By none he stands” but have now decided for “Alone he stands”.  Unlike most commentators and translators, I have interpreted the poem as describing the scene of a general assuming command.  揚新令 is, therefore, rendered as “to proclaim his new command” rather than “gives a new order" (Witter Bynner), “to issue a new edict" (Innes Herdan), “gives an order out" (Xu Yuan-Zhong), or “gives new commands" (Waters, Farman, Lunde).

*    Line 4:  Although most commentators and translators have variously taken 營 (thousand/tent) to mean “a thousand tents" (Witter Bynner), “a thousand companies" (Innes Herdan), “a thousand battalions" (Xu Yuan-Zhong), or “a thousand campfires" (Waters, Farman, Lunde), I am inclined to interpret it as “a battalion of a thousand men” which fits the scene of a general standing alone on a platform addressing his men (irrespective of whether he is assuming new command or just issuing new orders) who respond in unison with a battle cry, and have rendered it as “thousand warriors.”  For the word , I have used “battle cry” together with a slogan to be coined with a word to end-rhyme with “arrow" (1) and "flow" (2).  I had first considered the cry “Westward ho” and its variants “Northward ho,” “Forward ho,” “Onward ho” (which I like), “Rally ho” (unfortunately, the battle cry of a group of 3 silly Hanna-Barbara cartoon figures The Impossibles and also the greeting used by the dwarfs in the Final Fantasy video game series), “Battle ho,” or “To battle ho” (which I also like).  I then considered another rhyme word “foe” in: “Defeat the foe,” “Beat the foe” and “Crush the foe," and then yet another rhyme word “go” in: “Go go go,” “To battle go,” “To battle we go” (which I like) and “Onward we go," and have finally decided for “Onward go!”. The words 共 (together) and 一 (one) have not been literally translated as they are adequately covered or implied in my formulating the line as “to/ His thousand warriors’ battle cry----Onward go!”.           

04 July 2014

陳天機 Chen Tien Chi: 如夢令 Ru Meng Ling (As If Dreaming)

This month, I am posting a classical long-short-line verse (ci or 詞) written by a contemporary and my rendition of it in English.

This beautiful little poem of 6 lines is by Tien Chi Chen or Chen Tien Chi (陳天機  in Chinese Putonghua pinyin Chen Tienji), Emeritus Professor in Computer Science and Engineering at The Chinese University of Hong Kong.  He first joined the University in 1979 (from IBM where he had served for over 2 decades), was concurrently Head of United College of the University 1980-88 and retired from the University in 1992, but has returned as Visiting Professor of General Education since 1998.  Now that he is nearing his 2nd retirement (or 3rd, if one takes his leaving IBM also as retirement) at the age of 86, it is time opportune that I pay tribute to this extraordinary man and show the world his hidden literary prowess by posting this beautiful poem of his.

I have secured Tien Chi's permission to post this poem which he dated 16th February 2007 and which he sent me shortly by email.  I volunteered to translate it into English which I completed on 20th May of the same year.  Tien Chi has not said as much, but I have always taken it to be a love poem dedicated to his beloved wife Pearl (江獻珠).

I now offer to you Chen Tien Chi's love poem and my English rendition.  Kindly share it with all friends of Tien Chi and Pearl and with all lovers of love poetry. 

Chen Tien Chi (1928-) 
Tune of Ru Meng Ling (As If Dreaming):
The End of the Lunar Year, Drizzling Softly at the Scenic Egrets Pond
16th February 2007 
1  (O how I love the waters aqua, the mountains green,)
    O how we love the waters aqua, the mountains green,  (revised 15.8.14)
2  On twigs and sprigs, softly, drizzle-drops first sheen;
3  Hand in hand, on the railing we lean,
4  (Envy not the plumes and wings of the phoenix serene.)
    Envy not the plumes and wings of the phoenix queen.  (revised 15.8.14)
5  Drip drop, drip drop:
6  Tit-bits of spring-time's tidings of a brand new scene.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa)         譯者: 黃宏發
20th May 2007 (revised 4.6.2007; 7.6.2007; 16.7.2007; touched up 16.9.2013; 23.6.2014; 4.7.2014)
Translated from the original Chinese - 陳天機 調寄 如夢令: 年晚小白鷺勝地微雨 



*  This English rendition follows the long-short line pattern of the original with
   hexameter (6 feet) for the 6-character lines (lines 1, 2, 4 and 6), tetrameter (4
   feet) for the 5-character line (line 3), and dimeter (2 feet) for the4-character line
   (line 5).  The rhyme scheme is AAAAXA compared to the original AAXAAA.
*  Line 1:  I had considered “waters blue” but have decided for “waters aqua”.
*  Line 2: “On sprigs and twigs” now revised as “On twigs and sprigs”.  The
   word “sheen” here is a verb.
*  Line 3:  For 闌干 the word “balustrade” now revised as “railing”.  For , I                      
   had considered “recline” to make it possible to achieve the unrhymed X for line 3
   (please see note above), but have decided for the more natural word “lean” which
   makes this rendition deviate from the original rhyme scheme. 
*  Line 4: “Envious not of” now revised as “Envy not,” and “phoenixes,"
   revised as “phoenix”.  The word “serene” is added for the rhyme.  (Added 15.8.14:)  "Serene" is now revised to read "queen" as in 鳳凰 "phoenix", 鳳 is male while 凰 is female.
*  Line 5:  I had considered “A drib and a drab” , then penned it as “Drib-drab,  drib-drab" and have now decided simply for “Drip drop, drip drop."
*  Line 6:  I had considered “Tit-bits of spring-time’s good/glad tidings of a brand new scene” to        somehow make up the 6-beat count for the line , but have now decided to drop the word “good/glad” and venture to suggest that the word “of” should be read stressed.

06 June 2014

白居易 Bai Juyi: 讀老子 On Reading the "Lao Zi"

During the last year and a half, I have posted here my translation of 4 chapters of Lao Zi's "Dao De Jing". This has taken me a great deal of time and effort and I now wish to put it aside for the time being and return to my main interest: poetry translation.  For those who are interested in the Dao De Jing, there is an abundance of ready translations.  For books, I commend Arthur Waley's "The Way" and D.C. Lau's Penguin "Tao Te Ching".  On the net, I have seen a complete translation by A.S. Kline - "Tao Te Ching: The Book of The Way and Its Virtues" and another by a friend of mine Lok Sang HO of Lingnan University, Hong Kong - "The Living Dao: The Art and Way of Living a Rich and Truthful Life".  The 2 links are:  -http://www.taoteching.cn/index.php/tao-te-ching-translated-by-a-s-kline/   http://www.ln.edu.hk/econ/staff/daodejing(22%20August%202002).pdf 

Today's poem is about Lao Zi and the philosophy (not religion) called "Daoism" or "Taoism".  The poet Bai Juyi was himself a follower of that philosophy, yet in the poem he appears to be mocking Lao Zi,, or did he not also mock himself, he being a most prolific poet?  Life is full of paradoxes, and self-mockery seems to work wonders.  Let us just appreciate Bai Juyi's sense of humour in what follows:- 

Bai Juyi (772-846):  On Reading the “Lao Zi”

1       He who preaches knows not, he who knows is mute.
2      ( These I’m told are the words, of Lao Zi the master of old.)
     These are the words, I'm told, of Laozi the master of old. (revised 10.6.2014)
3       But if, it be said, the master, was one who truly knew,
4       O why did he pen a treatise, a thousand words five-fold?

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa)    譯者黃宏發
21st February 2013 (revised 22.2.13; 6.6.14)
Translated from the original - 白居易讀老子

1       言者不知知者默
2       此語吾聞於老君
3       若道老君是知者
4       缘何自著五千文

*    This English rendition is in hexameter (6 feet) while the original is in 7-character lines.  The rhyme scheme is XAXA as in the original.
*    Title:  老子 (Lao Zi, Laozi or Lao Tzu) in the title of the poem refers to the book of 5,000 words known as the 道德經 (Dao De Jing, Daodejing or Dao Te Ching) or simply the 老子) authorship of which is attributed to 老子 whose real name was 李耳 (Li Er) who lived circa 500 BCE.  I have, therefore, added the article the and put Lao Zi in quotes in the English title.
*    Line 1:  For “speech”, I had considered “speaks", "professes", "teaches", "declaims”, etc. but have now decided for “preaches”.  There is an alternative version of the original line which has the word in the place of the first which I do not favour as the line is from Chapter 56 of the 道德經 Dao De Jing and is a poetic paraphrase of the opening 2 fragments of the chapter.  The first fragment 知者不言 is rendered by Bai Juyi as 知者默(不言) used to end the line.  The second fragment 言者不知 should, therefore, be a direct quote (and not言者不如) used to begin the poem, particularly in view of what the poet says in line 2.  For “silent”, I had considered “stays mute” but have now decided for “is mute”.
*    Line 2:  I have not rendered 吾聞於 “I hear from” as “… I have heard from …” because it makes no logical sense to take to mean “directly (personally) from”.  I have, instead, taken 吾聞 to be “I’m told” in the sense of  我聽說 “I heard it said” and to mean 出於 “of/spoken by/from the book of”, and have, therefore, rendered 吾聞於 as “These I’m told are the words, of …”  The word is an honorific and 老君 is a grander honorific with the word Lao also referring specifically to Lao Zi.  I have, therefore, rendered 老君 as “Lao Zi” plus “the master of old”.
*    Lines 3 and 4:  The words “But” (line 3) and “O” (line 4), which are not in the original, are added so as to make sure the words that follow, “if” (line 3) and “why” (line 4) are read stressed.  The word “truly” (not in the original) is added to line 3 to complete the 6-foot meter.  These additions help make the paradox, if not also irony, of the poem even more apparent. 

*    Line 4:  I had considered translating 自著 “himself authoring” as “pen his treatise” but have decided for “pen a treatise”.  The word “pen” may not be the correct writing instrument, but is considered a better word than “write” to convey the meaning of self authorship.  五千文 is rendered as “a thousand words fivefold” in order to make the rhyme of “old” (line 2) “five-fold” (line 4).           

05 May 2014

老子 Lao Zi: 道德經 六十章 Dao De Jing Chapter 60

Here is yet another chapter of the Dao De Jing by Lao Zi made famous for its first line which should be taken as advice/admonition to the ruler as "Rule a large country as one would cook a small fish!"  It says, "Don't stir and turn the fish ever so often lest it breaks into pieces!"  So is the Way of Dao in line 2 which can be found in lines 1 and 2 of Chapter 63 (posted here last month), viz. "Act not for the sake of being active" and "Pursue not for the sake of pursuits" which simply mean "Don't overdo!  Don't overact!  Don't be vain!  Don't be greedy!"

Here is my rendition of Lao Zi's Chapter 60:-  

Lao Zi (circa 500 BCE): Dao De Jing Chapter 60
(Lao Tzu: Tao Te Ching Chapter 60)

1       Rule a large country as one would cook a small fish!

2       Rule the world in accordance with the Way of Dao,
3       The evil spirits would lose their potency;
4       Not that they are not at all potent, but that,
5       In their potency, they harm not the people;
6       Not only, in their potency, they harm not the people,
7       The sage ruler, too, would do no harm to the people.

8   It is because the ruler and the people do not harm each other
9   That the Virtue of De, reciprocating, returns and reigns.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa)            譯者: 黃宏發
16 January 2013 
Translated from the Chinese original - 老子道德經 六十章

1       治大國若烹小鮮。

2       以道莅天下,
3       其鬼不神;
4       非其鬼不神,
5       其神不傷人;
6       非其神不傷人,
7       聖人亦不傷人。

8       夫兩不相傷,
9       故德交歸焉。

*    Line 1:  I had considered “Govern” for but have decided for “Rule”.  I have used “as one/you would” to translate instead of formulations such as “like” or  “similar to” or “not different from” so as to bring the message of "Don't stir and turn it ever so often lest it breaks into pieces!" closer to the reader.  I had considered “boil” and “fry” for , but have decided for “cook”.
*    Line 2:  Ma Wang Dui (MWD) 馬王堆 manuscript B has (erect, establish) for and I have accordingly translated (arrive, be present)天下 as “Rule the world in accordance with …”  The word is translated both by its meaning “Way” and its transliteration “Dao” as “the Way of Dao”.
*    Line 3:  On the question of (ghosts) (gods), I have, following Arthur Waley, used “evil spirits” to translate which is echoed in the “evil tendencies” by Archie J. Bahm.  The term “evil spirits” thus covers not just “ghosts” but also the evil tendencies of men, the ruler included.  As for I am indebted to my friend the late 劉殿爵 D.C. Lau for his brilliant interpretation of as “potent/potency” which I have borrowed in my lines 3 to 6.  I hope this has helped to demystify the (ghosts) (gods) in the passage.
*    Lines 3 through 7:  in lines 3 and 4 is translated as in reference to 天下 “the world” mentioned in line 2 while in lines 5 and 6 is translated as in reference to “the evil spirits” mentioned in lines 3 and 4.  is translated as “Not that” in line 4, but as “Not only” in line 6.  Thus, “not only” “the evil spirits” (in lines 3 through 6), even when “potent”, “harm not the people”, “the sage ruler (in line 7) “too, would do no harm to the people” all because the world is ruled “in accordance with the Way of Dao” (line 2).
*    Line 8:  In the line's  (the two) . . .  (one another) formulation, "the two" appears to refer to “the evil spirits” and the “sage ruler”, which does not make good sense.  I have, instead, interpreted "the two" as referring to "the ruler" and "the people" and have nothing to do with "the evil spirits".  I have also used “each other” instead of “one another” which makes the meaning more inclusive (not just between the ruler and the people, but also among the people).

*    Line 9:  is translated as “the Virtue of De” like (in line 2) as “the Way of Dao”.  交歸 is translated as “reciprocating, returns” to which I have added “and reigns” to conclude the chapter.  

03 April 2014

老子 Lao Zi: 道德經 六十三章 Dao De Jing Chapter 63 (Lao Tzu: Tao Te Ching 63)

Last year, I posted here 2 chapters of Lao Zi: Dao De Jing (or Lao Tzu: Tao Te Ching), a most translated work reputedly second only to the Bible.  They are Chapters 17 and 49, posted in January and February respectively.  In my English rendition, I have interpreted them to be on the question of trust, that the sage ruler ought to have trust in his people, that "it is the ruler's lack of trust in the people that creates their mistrust" (chapter 17, line 5).

Today, I am giving you my rendition of Chapter 63 with my interpretation that the 於 in 其易/ 細 (lines 6 and 7) does not mean "when/while" it is easy/small but should mean "where" it is easy/small, and, hence, the  於 in 易/ 細 (lines 8 and 9) cannot mean "when/while" it is easy/small but must mean "through" the easy/small.  Problems big and tough can be split into smaller and easier parts to handle. This reminds me of Karl Popper's "piecemeal social engineering".  A truly great practical philosophy, not just for sage rulers, but for everyman's everyday life!

Lao Zi (circa 500 BCE): Dao De Jing Chapter 63
(Lao Tzu: Tao Te Ching  63)

1       Act not for the sake of being active;
2       Pursue not for the sake of pursuits;
3       Find taste in the otherwise tasteless.
4       Regard the small as great, the few as many,
5       Requite goodness for injury

6     Tackle the difficult where it is easy,
7     Act on the great where it is small;
8     The difficult in the world can be done through the easy,
9     The great in the world can be done through the small.
10   Thus, the sage ruler never acts on anything great
11   That he can succeed in achieving the great.

12      Now, he who makes promises lightly rarely keeps them,
13      He who regards matters to be easy often finds them difficult.
14      Thus, the sage ruler ever regards matters to be difficult
15      That they, in the end, turn out not to be difficult.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa)     譯者: 黃宏發
5th February 2013 (revised 27.2.13)
Translated from the Chinese original - 老子: 道德經 六十三章

1        為無為,
2        事無事,
3        味無味。
4        大小多少,
5        報怨以德。

6        圖難於其易,
7        為大於其細;
8        天下難事必作於易,
9        天下大事必作於細。
10     是以聖人終不為大,
11     故能成其大。

12     夫輕諾必寡信,
13     多易必多難。
14     是以聖人猶難之,
15     故终無難矣。

*    Lines 1, 2 and 3:  I have, and I think rightly, taken “act” (line1), “pursue” (line 2) and “taste” (line 3) to be inevitable and have, therefore, come to interpret line 1 為無為 as 為,但不要為了自己要有所作為而為之  “Act not for the sake of being active”, line 2 事無事 as 事,但不要為自己的事業業績而從事 “Pursue not for the sake of pursuits”, and line 3 味無味 as (自然的味)是可以在無味中找到的 “Find taste in the otherwise tasteless”.
*    Lines 4, 13 and 14:  大小多少 in line 4 can be interpreted as 大者小之,多者少之 to mean it is nature’s way to “dwarf the great and dwindle the plentiful” which interpretation, however, does not seem to fit the context which is a piece of advice on how to handle worldly matters.  I have, therefore, interpreted it as 視小者如大,少者如多 “Regard the small as great, the few as many” which is in full accord with the sentiments of lines 13 and 14 多易必多難 是以聖人猶難之 “He who takes most things as easy often finds them difficult.  Thus it is because the sage ruler ever regards things as difficult …..”
*    Lines 6 and 7:  Most translators have rendered the word as “when” or “while”.  I beg to differ and have instead rendered it as “where”.  I believe this “where” is where the true wisdom of Lao Zi lies.  Though reluctant, I am prepared to accept the inclusion of “when” in addition to my “where”, but only as “where or when” in that order.
*    Lines 8 and 9:  For 必作於 I had considered “should/must be done through” but have now decided for “can only be done through”.

*    Lines 13 and 14:  In line 13, 多易 is rendered as “regards most things as easy” and 多難 as “often finds them difficult”, and in line 14, 猶難之 is rendered as “ever regards things as difficult”.  For these adaptations and more, I am grateful to the late D.C. Lau.

13 March 2014

劉禹錫 Liu Yuxi: 秋詞 其一(自古逢秋) Autumn Song I (As of old when autumn)

In this hazy, misty spring time, how we long for the bright, clear autumn.  This is how Liu Yuxi, the great late Tang dynasty poet, sees autumn.  Read it out loud to be one with him:- 

Liu Yuxi (772-842):  Autumn Song I (As of old when autumn)  

1  As of old when autumn falls, themes forlorn we bemoan;
2  But I say the autumn day excels any spring morn known.
3   Flapping skywards, a crane, past clouds white in the sun,
4   O how my muse of poesy to the heavens azure has flown.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa)        譯者: 黃宏發
22nd October 2008 (revised 23.10.08; 27.10.08; 28.10.08; 10.9.2013)
Translated from the Chinese original - 劉禹錫:  秋詞 其一 (自古逢秋)

1  自古逢秋悲寂寥
2   我言秋日勝春朝
3   晴空一鶴排雲上
4   便引詩情到碧霄

*  The original is in 7-character lines; I have been able to reduce this English rendition into a hexameter (6 metrical feet).  The rhyme scheme is AAXA as in the original.
*  Line1:  I had originally used “autumn comes” but have now decided for “autumn falls”.  I had used “men bemoan” but have now decided for “we bemoan”.
*  Line 2:  I had considered “surpasses” but have decided for “excels”.
*  Line 3:  I had originally penned the line as “Up and soaring a crane, through the clouds of the sunlit sky” which I find unsatisfactory.  Firstly, “Up and soaring … through clouds”, though an adequate translation of, is less than adequate to translate 排雲.  Secondly, “clouds” (which implies cloudiness/a cloudy day) and “sunlit sky” (which implies a sunny sky/a sunny day) are contradictory.  I have now scrambled the line into “Flapping skywards a crane, past clouds white in the sun”.

*  Line 4:  I had first penned “And to the azurean skies above, my poetic passion has flown”, but have now decided for “O how my muse of poesy, to the heavens azure has flown” dropping the word “azurean” which may be considered archaic.