Happy New Year 2017!!!
You may recall that I first began this blog in January 2008 after half a year's search on how to best translate classical Chinese poems into English. I have yet to come to a final conclusion on the matter, but have decided from the very beginning to work on the very short ones, particularly verses of 4 lines of equal line-length which I will term "quatrains" 四行詩 which includes the new style (very stringently) regulated verse 近體詩, the 4-lined "jueju" 絕句, and equivalent less regulated old style poem 古詩. I had, at times, ventured into the easier-going long and short lined verses 長短句 i.e. "ci" 詞, and song lyrics. Hence, from the very beginning, I had abandoned translating 8-lined poems including the new style (extremely stringent because of the parallelism requirement for lines 3 and 4, and 5 and 6) regulated verse 近體詩 called "lushi" 律詩 with 8 lines, and less regulated 8-lined old style poems 古詩 like this Du Fu poem on Mount Taishan.
The first drafts of this English rendition were read by many of my friends 9 years ago. I thank them for their views, comment and encouraging words. I am glad I am now able to post/publish it after having convinced myself that it is well nigh impossi ble to stick to the original rhyme scheme of a single rhyme. Like what I have done for my "ci" (long short lines) translations (please see Li Yu 李煜 for example), I have settled for less than a single rhyme with, I hope, success.
Here we go:-
Du Fu (712—770):
Beholding the Mountain (Mount Dai or Taishan)
1 O majestic Mount
Taishan, how shall I speak of you?
2 A landmark of green
unfolding beyond all Qi and Lu.
3 Endowed, by the
Creator, with heavenly beauty true;
4 Your shaded North severed
from Southside’s sunny milieu.
5 Cleansed in
clusters of clouds, your bosom not in sight;
6 I set my eyes to
follow the homing birds in flight.
7 One day for sure
will I, ascend your utmost height,
8 To see the other
summits dwarfed by your towering might.
Translated by Andrew W.F.
Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者:
黄宏發
21 May 2007 (revised 11.6.07; 31.7.07; 31.10.16;
30.11.16; 21.12.16)
Translated from the original - 杜甫:
望嶽
1 岱宗夫如何 齊魯青未了
3 造化鍾神秀 陰陽割昏曉
5 盪胸生曾雲 決眥入歸鳥
7 會當凌絕項 一覽衆山小
Notes:-
*Form, Metre and Rhyme: The original is a
5-character old style verse 五言古詩 (or 五古)
which just happens to be in 8 lines. Although, technically, it is not a
new style 近體 5-character regulated verse 五言律詩 (or 五律) which must be in 8 lines
and which is subject to more stringent rules, I will take it as if they were
the same and refer to all 8-line verses with the same number of characters
simply as octets (8-line verses八行詩) in my
English renditions. While the original is in 5-character (= 5-syllable)
lines, this English rendition is in hexameter (6 beats or feet) I have
failed to emulate the rhyme scheme of the original which is XAXA XAXA and have
adopted AAAA BBBB as my rhyme scheme.
*Title and line 1: 嶽
(mountain) refers to 五嶽 the 5 sacred mountains in the
East, South, West, North, and Middle of China, respectively named 泰山 Taishan, 衡山 Hengshan, 華山 Huashan, 恒山 Hengshan, and 嵩山 Songshan. 岱 Dai is another
name for Taishan; and of these 5 mountains, Taishan ranks the highest, hence, 岱宗 means Dai the greatest, which I have translated as “majestic Mount Taishan”. This
makes the line readily comprehensible. 夫 is an
exclamation which is rendered as “O”.
*Line 2: 齊魯 Qi and
Lu are the old names of respectively the northern and southern parts of the
present-day Shantung 山東 Province. 未了 “not ending in” is rendered as “unfolding beyond” after considering “extending, stretching, spreading, covering, straddling” and following my making clear Dai is a mountain in line 1,
I have here in line 2 added “landmark”
rather than “landscape” to make
sure that 青 “green” refers not
just to “green” but to the
green mountain. I had considered but rejected the “verdant
landmark” formulation as “landmark
of green unfolding beyond” best translates 青未了.
*Line 3: 造物 is
translated literally as “the Creator”,
and 鍾 rendered as “Endowed”. It is suggested that “Endowed,
by the creator” should be read with “by” also stressed to make 3 beats in the first half of the
line. I had considered but rejected rendering it as “Endowed
by the Lord Creator” which would wrongly make it look
too Christian. For the second half, 神秀 is
rendered as “heavenly beauty true”
rather than “divine beauty true”
for the same reasons. The word “true” is added to make the “you” rhyme.
*Line 4: 陰 and陽 here refer to 山陰 and 山陽 the North (hence shaded) and South (hence sunny) sides
respectively of the mountain range. 昏 and 曉 which should mean dusk and dawn respectively are understood
as metaphors for “shaded” and “sunny” and are rendered as such.
割 is translated literally as “severed”.
*Line 5: 曾 is the
same word as 層 “layers” and 曾/層雲 is rendered as “clusters
of clouds”. 蕩 is rendered
as “cleansed”. I had considered
“bathed” but have decided for “cleansed” for the alliteration of
the “k” sound. 胸 can be rendered as chest or breast, but I do not take 蕩胸 to mean the poet’s chest being
bathed, as he is simply beholding the mountain and not up in the mountain. 胸 is, therefore, rendered as “bosom” to mean the mountain’s midriff
covered by or bathed/cleansed in clusters of clouds. I have added the
logical picture of “not in sight”
to make an “-ight” rhyme for
the second stanza. I have dropped translating 生
which is implied in the word “in”
in “in clusters of clouds”.
*Line 6: 决眥 is
rendered as “I set my eyes”
after considering “strain, focus, aim, turn”. 入 (enter) is rendered as “to follow” after considering “capture, take in, observe”, and 歸鳥 rendered as “the homing birds”, with “in flight”
(which is implied in 歸 returning) added for the “-ight” rhyme.
*Line 7: I had originally penned “Endeavour and strive shall I” for 會當 which, taken together, means “ought
to” but, separately, 當 means “ought to” and 會
means “surely will/can”.
I have, therefore, decided for “ One day for sure
will I". 凌 is rendered as
“ascend” after considering “clamber", "scale” and “reach”. I had considered “dazzling” for 絕
to parallel “towering” in line
8, but have decided for the literal “utmost”. 頂 is rendered as “height” for the rhyme.
*Line 8: 一覽衆山 is rendered as “To see the other summits”, and 小 rendered as “dwarfed” with “by your towering might” added for the rhyme and to bring the poem to a forceful end.
I think it fascinating how much literary debate has been undertaken about this poem much of it focused on lines 5 and 6 in particular. Also interesting is the large number of different translations providing alternate readings of the poem.
ReplyDeleteFor example, for lines 5 and 6, Steven Owen (see link below) suggests
Exhilirating the breast, it produces layers of cloud;
splitting eye-pupils, it has homing birds entering.
This translation, though to me rather lacking in style, fits well with the learned article by Professor Daniel Hsieh, Chinese Literature: Essays, Articles, Reviews, Vol. 16, (Dec., 1994). In this article, Hsieh shows how Du Fu, almost recoiling in shock at failing in the jinshi, recalled earlier poetical works to help produce a poem with meaning that extends well beyond the commonplace.
Within Hsieh's article, the same two lines are similarly translated as
Heaving breast, growing layered clouds,
Split eye-sockets, enter returning birds.
Hsieh goes on to say, "Du Fu composed these lines with a deliberate purpose; only after we have fitted the character of his language to his feelings and thoughts can we say that we understand his poem."
Hsieh notes that the phrase 盪胸, dang xiong, has a precedent in 張衡, (Zhang Heng's) 南都賦, "Nan du fu" ("Southern Capital Rhapsody"), "The Yu River scours its breast" (淯水盪其胸,Yushui dang qi xiong) when discussing the fifth line, and with reference to the sixth line's, 決眥, that 曹植, Cao Zhi's, 孟冬篇, "Meng dong pian" ("Early Winter") contains the line, "They widen their eyes splitting their sockets," (張目決眥, zhang mu jue zi).
With additional references to hunting and the shooting of arrows, Hsieh explains that Du Fu's choice of words and their effects is deliberate, and the painful, violent image and the associations with hunting and archery are Du Fu's way of alluding to his own sense of injury and distress about his recent failure in achieving success in the examination system..."With the image of the split eye-socket Du Fu is portraying himself as having been shot down, slain. His ideals have been crushed, and his vision of the world literally shattered".
Hsieh suggests Du Fu uses the image of the returning bird to convey his longing to retreat and return, but Hsieh also suggests that in the first line of the third couplet ("Heaving breast, growing layered clouds"), Du Fu is drawing on the traditions of Mount Tai as a generator of life. The image of animation and birth contrasting with the violent and negative tone of the following line.
Andrew rejects this meaning, preferring instead with the fifth line to refer directly to the mountain hidden by clouds and the sixth a simple observation of birds flying home. This implies that deeper readings of these lines are perhaps misplaced, and it is the simple viewing of the mountain landscape that inspired Du Fu. Perhaps this echoes 浮雲連海岱, ("Drifting clouds stretch to Mount Tai and the sea") in Du Fu's 登兖州城樓, Climbing Yanzhou Tower, written about the same time as he was also gazing at the peaks of Mount Tai. In this line, there's no ambiguity, it's a straightforward observation. Similarly in 又上後園山腳 ("Once again Ascending the Base of the Mountain by My Rear Garden"), writing late in life, Du Fu simply states, 昔我遊山東，憶戲東嶽陽。窮秋立日觀，矯首望八荒, here Du Fu is reminiscing his viewing of the landscape around Mount Tai. Wouldn't this have been an opportunity to return to the complexity of heaving breasts and splitting eye-sockets, or does this suggest that these are the over reachings of a young poet to be ever since over analysed by scholars?
Perhaps then, Andrew's translation is closer to Du Fu's intention?
Steven Owen's translation of Du Fu's poetry can be found here; I hope you can access this link...https://www.degruyter.com/viewbooktoc/product/246946
I thank Ray Heaton for his learned and fair-minded comment. I had all along known of the sources of 盪胸 in line 5 and 决眥 in line 6, and of the divergent interpretations. I did not wish to be embroiled in any debate and, so, simply stated in my notes that the "breast/bosom" in line 5 refers to the mountain's midriff and not the poet's, and the "eyes" in line 6 are just set and not split.
ReplyDelete盪胸决眥 is obviously very strong language and Du Fu might have use it for the purpose of releasing his frustration. But the entire poem is full of strong language, and the poem is more about his ambition and determination to succeed in future examinations. So, Du Fu might have just used 盪胸 as "cleansed...bosom" and 決眥 as "set eyes" in ordinary usage, as I have suggested, which is language strong enough without having to resort to Daniel Hsieh's "heaving breast" and "split eye-sockets".
Perhaps, as suggested by Ray Heaton, "these are the over reaching of a young poet (Du Fu) to be, ever since, over analyzed by scholars". And I hope I am not one of them.
While responding Ray Heaton, I noticed I had used a wrong word in line 7. The word 臨 is wrong. It should be 凌. The line should read: 會當凌絕頂. I have amended the poem and the relevant note. I am sorry for this.
ReplyDeleteThank you to Ray Heaton for his reference to the Hsieh article - at last, the article tells me that someone else sees in this poem what I see in it! To me, that third couplet is deliberately ambiguous, and refers both to the poet and to the mountain.
ReplyDeleteTo Andrew's question, what poetic form is best for translations of classical Chinese poetry? I don't have any single answer, but for this poem, as I translated it, I was struck very forcefully by a feeling that I wanted to put it in blank iambic pentameter. Though the original rhymes, I feel like it has the force - and the interiority - of a Shakespearian soliloquy, so that's the form I wanted to imitate. My version (which clearly signals my reading of that key couplet) is as follows:
A View of the Sacred Mountain
Du Fu
How shall I describe the Lord Mount Tai?
The ancient states of Qi and Lu stretch out
Below him, endless green. Here Nature heaped
All beauty and divinity so high
That day and night exist together, split
Between his yang slopes and the shady yin.
Our heaving chests are blowing films of cloud;
Our eyes are straining wide for homing birds.
One day, I'll reach his peak, and looking out,
How tiny every mountain will appear.