Below is my rendition of a very famous Chinese poem of the Tang Dynasty in heptameter (7 metrical feet) and rhymed AAXA.
Zhang Ji (mid 700's): Moored for the Night by the Maple Bridge
1 The moon is down, ravens caw, a frostiness fills the sky;
2 By the riverside maples and fishing lights, sad, insomnious I lie.
3 Beyond the walls of Gusu City, where Hanshan Temple stands,
4 Bong goes the bell at midnight to touch the boat of the passerby.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
5 June 2008 (last revised 18.6.08; polished 3.1.2018)
Translated from the original - 張繼: 楓橋夜泊
1 月落烏啼霜滿天
2 江楓漁火對愁眠
3 姑蘇城外寒山寺
4 夜半鐘聲到客船
Notes:
*Zhang Ji was not a major poet of the period, but this poem has always been extremely popular and is represented in numerous paintings. This English rendition is in heptameter (7 metrical feet) to emulate the original 7-character lines. The rhyme scheme is AAXA as in the original.
*Line 3: "Gusu" is present day Suzhou 蘇州. "Hanshan" is literally Cold Mountain 寒 山. It is also the name of a famous Buddhist monk, but the claim that the monastery was named after the monk who lived in the late 700's to early 800's remains dubious.
*Line 4: I had considered replacing "goes" by "tolls" but decided not to as it might produce an audio(-visual) effect of Western church bell tolling and ringing. "Bong" is the correct sound of the single Buddhist monastery bell hit by the end of a large wooden pole. The word "touch" is chosen for its ambiguity. It was originally "reach" which is the literal meaning. I had also considered using "bless" (the sound of the bell must or would have quelled some of the sadness.) But there is already an abundance of the "b" alliteration of "bong", "bell" and "boat" in the line and of "By" and "Beyond" in the previous lines.
Moon down, crow caws, frosty night
ReplyDeletehi, andrew,
ReplyDeletei'm giving this a go, but i know i've added too much probably onto the original.
Maple Bridge Night Mooring Zhang Ji (733?-779)
The moon sets and darkness is not allay'd.
Startled, cawing crows their anger display;
All skies are frosty flakes in disarray.
Maples by the river faintly in sight
And dots of fishermen's flickering light
Watch over lone traveller's sleepless night.
Yet, behold in the yonder dell --
How contented does Hanshan Temple dwell
Outside the walls of Gusu Citadel.
(O, listen and O listen well!)
At midnight, tolls of the monastery bell
Reach my boat like an enlightening swell.
Hello Sir Adrew Wong,
ReplyDeleteI'm in US home, there comes back with me this blog brought by the google automatically.
blogger was not too often I visited. There have put into it not too many pieces, 'sfiawong' my name bing usually used in so many places and blogs etc..
Most poems were self created when there have been some ideas came into my mind.
Translation was not many in my previous posted pieces.
I am glad to see you again here in this blog!
sfiawong.
Hello Sir Adrew Wong,
ReplyDeleteI'm in US home, there comes back with me this blog brought by the google automatically.
blogger was not too often I visited. There have put into it not too many pieces, 'sfiawong' my name bing usually used in so many places and blogs etc..
Most poems were self created when there have been some ideas came into my mind.
Translation was not many in my previous posted pieces.
I am glad to see you again here in this blog!
sfiawong.
I have polished my rendition as follows:-
ReplyDeleteLine 1: "ravens" inst of "crows",
Line 2: delete the comma after "insomnious",
Line 3: "Temple" instead of "Monastery", and
Line 4: delete the comma after "Bong".
my humble translation..
ReplyDeleteIn the cold night crows were crying in the air
Beneath the "Feng Qiao" bridge sleepless thru the night
In the distance there stood “Han Shan” temple
Midnight bells they were ringing greeting everyone from afar
Dear Jonathan, Thank you for sharing your rendition. Best wishes, Andrew.
ReplyDelete