Last month, I posted here my first ever octet (or 8-line verse) rendition, that of Du Fu's "Beholding the Mountain" 望嶽, but was disappointed to find there had only been about 100 viewers. Today, I am reverting to quatrains and am posting one by a Qing 清 dynasty poet/painter 鄭燮 Zheng Xie, more popularly known as 鄭板橋 Zheng Banqiao.
This quatrain is not of the traditional type. All 4 lines rhyme and the language sounds colloquial. Some claim this may be the beginning of modern colloquial verse in Chinese which I doubt as the language used by his Tang dynasty predecessor Wang Fanzhi is even more colloquial.
This poem "On Snowflakes" is a fun poem which plays on numbers (from 1 to 10, then to 10,000, delightfully written and, I hope, equally delightfully rendered into English. The beauty of it lies in snowflakes transforming into plum-flowers, particularly beautiful in this Chinese Lunar New Year season of plum flowers and snow.
I hope you will enjoy this. Here we go:-
Zheng Xie (Zheng Banqiao) (1693-1765): On Snowflakes
1 One, and two flakes, snowflakes three and
four;
2 Five six, sev’n eight, nine flakes, ten and
more;
3 A thousand, ten thousand, myriad flakes galore,
4 Glide into plum-flow’rs, snowflakes seen no
more.
Translated by Andrew
W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者:
黃宏發
19th January 2017 (revised 20.1.17)
Translated from the original - 鄭燮 (鄭板橋):
詠雪
1 一片兩片三四片
2 五六七八九十片
3 千片萬片無數片
4 飛入梅花都不見
Notes:
*Form, Metre and Rhyme:
The original is a 7-character quatrain but not of the traditional kind
with (a) the word 片 (piece or flake) appearing 7 times,
(b) the use of the same word 片 for rhyme in
3 lines, and (c) all 4 lines have the same end rhyme in violation of the rule
that line 3 should never rhyme, and all in addition to the language being
colloquial. This English rendition is in
pentameter (5 beats or feet) while the original is in 7-syllable lines. My rhyme scheme follows the original’s
unorthodox AAAA.
*Title: 詠 is literally “to sing” or “to versify” or, as the product,
“a verse” or “an ode”. I have left it
out as being superfluous. 雪 is literally “snow”.
As the poem is not about “snow”, but about flakes of snow, I have
decided to entitle it “On Snowflakes” or just “Snowflakes” without seriously
suggesting to change the original name to 詠雪花 or just 雪花.
*Line 1: In this
line, I have reduced the number of times 片 or flakes appear from 3 to 2. One of these two appear in the word
“snowflakes” which brings in the theme early.
*Line 2: The word
“seven” is shortened to “sev’n” so as
to make “sev’n eight” disyllabic with “sev’n” read stressed.
*Line 3: I suggest reading “A thousand” and “ten thousand” as amphibrachs (da-DUM-da).
*Line 4: 飛
(fly) is rendered as “Glide” which means to fly gracefully downwards. To
translate都不見 (all, not, see), I had
originally penned “to remain in sight no more” which is faithful, if not
entirely literal, but have found it wanting as it makes no sense at all. The snow of the snowflakes is still in sight,
not flying but staying on the plum-trees’ branches and twigs. I then considered adding to this last half-line
the word “snow” (not in the original) which makes it possible for me to say to
the effect “snow not seen as snow”.
After considering “not seen as snow at all” and “seen as snow no more”,
I have decided for “snowflakes seen no more” which is a rather literal
translation of 都不見 but with “snowflakes” added. The line now reads: “Glide into plum-flow’rs, snowflakes
seen no more”. Snow is still in sight,
not seen as snowflakes but as plum-flowers: a beautiful picture of the
transformation of snowflakes into plum-flowers.