Classical Chinese Poems in English

高適: 除夜作 Gao Shih: Written in the Night of New Year’s Eve

2012-01-20T17:56:00.001+08:00

This year 2012, New Year's Day of the Chinese Lunar Calendar falls on Monday the 23rd of January. At this, the Eve of the Chinese New Year, I post here a Tang dynasty poem which suits the occasion but, hopefully suits not the happier personal circumstances of the readers.

Wishing you all a prosperous Year of the Dragon. Kung Hei Fat Choy!

高適: 除夜作

Gao Shih (701-765): Written in the Night of New Year’s Eve

1 旅館寒燈獨不眠

2 客心何事轉淒然

3 故鄉今夜思千里

4 霜鬢明朝又一年

1 In the cold of the tavern lamplight, unslept, alone am I;

2 This heart of mine, in sojourn, turned sad, O why? I sigh.

3 O tonight, I wish I were home, yet a thousand miles away;

4 Come tomorrow---m’hair greyed---another year’s gone by!

Translatedby Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發

27^th December 2010 (revised 28.12.10; 2.1.11;20.1.12)

Notes:

* This English rendition is in hexameterwhile the original is in 7-character lines.. The rhyme scheme is AAXA as in the original.-

* Line 1: For the first half of the line, I had considered “In/’Neath the coldtavern (inn/road house) lamplight/the cold lamplight of the tavern (inn/roadhouse)”, but have decided for “In the cold of the tavern lamplight”. For the second half, I had considered “awake”(for alliteration with “alone”) and “sleepless” (for being more faithful andfor being a fashionable word) but have decided for “unslept”. I had also considered ending the line with “Ilie”, but “am I” is obviously more faithful to the original.

* Line 2: I have not translated 何事 as aquestion of “for what” but as a rhetorical question of “why” 為何 and have, therefore, added “I sigh” whichis not in the original to reinforce the effect.. I had originally penned the line as “Insojourn, my heart is saddened, why, O why? I sigh.”, but have decided for thepresent line.

* Line 3: I have interpreted the line as the poet thinking of home and not asfolks at home thinking of him. I hadoriginally penned “Tonight, my thoughts are of home, a thousand miles away”,considered rewriting it as “O tonight I long to be home, yet away a thousandmiles” and have now decided for “O tonight I wish I were home, yet a thousandmiles away”. Although 千里 (thousand “li”) is only about 300 miles, I take it to be a hyperbole andhave retained the word “thousand” whichis more effective than “hundreds of”

* Line4: I have contracted “my hair greyed” to“m’hair greyed” in order lead one to read it as “me hair”. I think my interpretation of 又一年 as “another year has gone (by)” is more intune with the rest of the poem and more reasonable than “another year has come(along)”.

韋應物: 滁州西澗 Wei Yingwu: By the River to the West of Chuzhou

2011-12-31T16:50:00.000+08:00

Today is New Year's Eve. Tomorrow will be New Year's Day 2012, still deep in winter, may not be the right time to post a spring poem. But when winter is here, can spring be too far away? Here is a poem by the Tang poet Wei Yingwu which is the subject of many a Chinese painting of a boat moored idly by the riverbank when it is raining and the waters are running swift. It is the picture of a desolate spring. Indeed, 2012 looks bleak. Yet, orchids still grow, leaves still sprout, orioles still sing, and life still goes on. The advice is: "Don't despair, just lie low."

韋應物: 滁州西澗

Wei Yingwu (739-792): By the River to theWest of Chuzhou

1 獨憐幽草澗邊生

2 上有黃鸝深樹鳴

3 春潮帶雨晚來急

4 野渡無人舟自橫

1 (HowI love the riverside, where orchid grasses grow,)
How I love the riverside where slender grasses grow, (revised 4.1.12)

2 And from up on trees so leafy, songs of the orioles flow.

3 Springflood and a day's rain, by dusk the river runs swift,

4 Thecountry ferry deserted, the boat, by itself, lies low.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (HuangHongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發

17^th June 2009 (18.6.09; 19.6.09; 6.5.11;31.12.11)

Notes:

* This Englishrendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet) while the original is in7-character lines. The rhyme scheme isAAXA as in the original.

* Title and line1: 西澗, literallyWest Brook, is a river to the west of 滁州 Chuzhouin present day 安徽 Anhui province. I have therefore chosen to translate 澗 in the title as “River” and 澗邊 in line 1 as “riverbank” or “riverside”.

* Line 1: 憐 in this context should mean “love” as in 憐愛 and not “pity” as in 可憐and I have chosen to interpret 獨憐 to mean “love the most” and not “alone”or “only”, hence, “How I love”. Ivisualize 幽草 to be “tuftsof graceful grass (can be species of flowering Chinese orchids calledCymbidium)” and not “turf” or “bunches of tall grass” or “a sea of reeds”,hence, “grassy orchids” or “orchid grasses”.

* Lines 1 and2: I am grateful to Xu Yuan-zhong forhis translation of line 1 as “Alone I like the riverside where green grassgrows” (rather than the more literal “Alone I like the green grass that alongthe riverside grows”) which links up with line 2 “And (where) golden oriolessing amid the leafy trees” so much better in terms of the meaning of the 2lines taken together. (Xu Yuan-zhong, etalias (eds.), “300 Tang Poems – A New Translation”, Hong Kong: CommercialPress, 1987, p. 248.)

* Line 3: 春潮 cannot be translated as “spring tide” which means a high tide incontrast to “neap tide”. It cannot betranslated as “tide in spring” either, since there is no tide in rivers that donot pour directly into the sea. It canonly mean springtime’s flood water from thawing snow and from rain, hence, “Springflood”.

* Line 4: I had used “of itself” but have now decidedfor “by itself”. I have taken 橫 to mean “alongside” and not “crossing”,hence “lies low” to paint a picture of a single boat idly moored alongside thedeserted countryside ferry pier.

李白: 题峰頂寺(夜宿山寺) Li Bai: Written at the Summit Temple (Lodged for the Night at a Mountain Temple)

2011-11-26T12:15:00.001+08:00

Yet another great poem by the poet immortal Li Bai. Hope you will like it.

李白: 題峰顶寺(夜宿山寺)

Li Bai (701-762): Written at the Summit Temple (Lodged for the Night at a Mountain Temple)

1 夜宿峰頂寺(危樓高百尺)

2 舉手捫星辰(手可摘星辰)

3 不敢高聲語

4 恐驚天上人

1 Lodged for the night at the Summit Temple,

2 Can touch at arm’s reach thestars so nigh;

3 Yet dare not raise my voice inspeech,

4 For fear might disturb thebeings up high.

Translated by Andrew Wong W.F. Wong (HuangHongfa) 譯者: 黄宏發

8^th December 2009 (revised 10.12.09: 11.12.09;12.12.09; 16.12.09; 13.4.10; 26.11.11)

Notes:

* This Englishrendition is a tetrameter (4 metrical feet) while the original is in5-character lines. The rhyme scheme isXAXA as in the original.

* The 2 versions: There are two versions to this poem. I have chosen to translate the “题Written” version over the “夜宿 Lodged for the Night” version (shownhere in parenthesis). The version chosen was, purportedly, written by Li Bai inhis mid years while the other by him as a young man.

* Line 2: I have interpreted the line not literally as “raisemy hand to touch the stars” which would contradict lines 3 and 4, but as “cantouch, at arm’s reach, the stars” (but shall refrain from doing so). I have taken the 2 commas away and it now reads "can touch at arm's reach the stars". I have also added “so nigh”, which is impliedand is the essence of this interpretation, so as to make the “nigh(2), high(4)”rhyme.

* Line 3: I had considered “raise my voice whenspeaking’ but have decided for “raise my voice in speech”.

* Line 4: I have translated 驚 as “disturb” in the 驚動 (not “wake” 驚醒) sense. I had used “of disturbing” but have nowdecided for “might disturb”. I hadconsidered “gods”, “deities”, “immortals”, “fairies”, “souls”, “populace”, etc.but have decided for “beings”, being closest to 人 “humans”. I had considered “beings in/of the sky”, buthave decided for “beings up high” with “up” covering 上 and “high” covering 天.

柳中庸: 征人怨 Liu Zhongyong : A Soldier’s Lament

2011-10-31T12:28:00.001+08:00

This is the last day of October 2011 and I have only just realized that I have yet to do my October post. Please accept my apologies. Here, I share with you an anti-war poem by 柳宗元 (of 江雪 "River Snow" fame) Liu Zongyuan's cousin(nephew):-

柳中庸: 征人怨

LiuZhongyong : A Soldier’s Lament

1 歲歲金河復玉關

2 朝朝馬策與刀環

3 三春白雪歸青塚

4 萬里黃河繞黑山

1 Year on year at the frontier, by the Gold-Brook or Jade-Pass I stand;

2 Day in, day out on horseback, riding-crop, broad-sword at hand.

3 ‘Tis late in spring, the green graves, still shrouded in white, in snow;

4 The endless Yellow River, rounding this Black-Hill borderland.

Translatedby Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發

20^th May 2010 (revised 22.5.10; 24.5.10;26.5.10; 27.5.10; 28.5.10; 31.5.10: 2.8.10; 28.6.11)

Notes:

* ThisEnglish rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet) while the original is in7-character lines. The rhyme scheme isAAXA as in the original.

* Line1: I have added “at the frontier” (I hadoriginally used “a soldier”) and “I stand” which are not in the original tomake plain the meaning of the line.

* Line 2: I have added “on horseback” and “at hand” (not in the original) for thesame reason as line 1. I had considered “inhand” and “on hand”, but have decided for “at hand”. I have translated 馬策 (the handle/stock of a horse-whip, a synecdoche forthe horse-whip) as “riding-crop” (meaning the horse-whip but can also mean thehandle/stock of the whip). 刀環 (the ring atthe top of the handle/hilt of a sword) is a synecdoche for the “sword”, and Ihave rendered it as “broad-sword”(which I prefer over “sabre” for reason ofsound, both being weapons more appropriate for battle on horseback than justsword).

* Line 3: 三 (three) 春 (spring) is translated as “late in spring” as I have taken 三 not to mean “three” but the third and thelast of the three spring months. I haverendered 青塚 as “green graves” generally torefer to all who had died in battle here (and hint at the fate of those who arestill alive) and have consciously avoided the legend of the grave of 王昭君 (a courtesan sent during the Han Dynasty to be marriedto 呼韓邪, a king 單于 of the Huns匈奴), the only grave that remained green in snow. For 白雪 I had considered “white snow” and “the white of snow”, but have decidedfor “in white, in snow”. For 歸 Ihad considered “rest”,“frozen”, “blanched”,“wrapped”, “clad”, “palled”, “dead”, “buried”, “lie” and “lie dead/buried”, buthave decided for “shrouded”

* Line 4: 萬 (ten thousand) 里 (miles/li), a hyperbole, is translated byanother hyperbole as “endless”. For 繞 Ihad considered “meandering in”, “meandering down/through”, “ringing round”, “turningat”, “entangling”, “encompassing”, “enwrapping” and “encircling”, but havedecided for “rounding”. I have added “theborderland” as I have interpreted “Black-Hill” 黑山 not to mean a particular hill/mountain but to refer to 河套 “Hetao” (literally the bend or meander of a riverincluding the plains and plateaus on both sides of the river, in this case, thetwo perpendicular bends in the upper reaches of the Yellow River inNorthwestern China), a region which was then the frontier.

王維: 鹿柴 Wang Wei: The Deer Range

2011-09-07T11:10:00.000+08:00

Earlier this morning while I was tidying up the titles of my posts, I accidentally re-posted my September 2010 post of a song by Ma Zhiyuan. I do apologise for that. Here is what I had wanted to post. It is a little poem by the famed Tang dynasty poet Wang Wei, the "Poet Buddha", made all the more famous to Western readers by a little book "19 Ways of Looking at Wang Wei: How a Chinese Poem is Translated" (on 19 translations of this very poem) by Eliot Weinberger (Kingston, Rhode Island: Asphodel, 1987). I hope you will enjoy my rendition too.

王維: 鹿柴

Wang Wei (701—761): The Deer Range

1 空山不見人

2 但聞人語響

3 返景入深林

4 復照青苔上

1 So hollow is the mountain, nota soul in sight,

2 Yet the sound of men talking issomehow heard despite.

3 (Into the deep, deep forest, raysof the setting sun peep,)
Into the deep, deep forest, th' returning sun rays peep, (revised 14.9.11)

4 To shed again on the green moss,the day’s remaining light.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (HuangHongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發

28 February 2008 (revised 13.3.08; 17.9.08;16.12.08; 5 9 11) (text and notes further revised 14.9.11)

Notes:

* This Englishrendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet) although the original feature5-character lines. The rhyme scheme isAAXA which is also a Tang quatrain rhyme scheme more demanding than the XAXA of theoriginal.

* Line 1: Instead of “desolate” and the literal “empty”for 空, I have nowchosen the word “hollow”, as suggested by my friend Gabriel C.M. Yu 余志明, which here means empty, deserted, vacant, etc. I like it because it subtly suggests that thesound of men talking in line 2 is “hollow” too. For 不見人 I hadconsidered “no man to be seen”, “no man in sight” and “not a man in sight”, buthave decided for “not a soul in sight”.

* Line 2: As “somehow” and “despite” may be redundant, Ihad considered but rejected using “faintly” to replace “somehow” as this mightadd meaning to the poem.

* Line 3: I had originally penned “Deep into thethickets” for 森林 but havenow decided for “Into the deep, deep forest” to try to somehow. I have interpreted 返景 in line 3 as 返影 (not taken to mean “shadow”, but 返回的日光“rays of the returning sun” returning since sunrise), hence, “th' returning sun rays”. I am grateful to XuYuanzhong (X.Y.Z.) for the beautifully poetic word of “peep” used in hisrendition of the same poem which he entitles “The Deer Enclosure”, p.87 inX.Y.Z., et al. (eds.), “300 Tang Poems --- A New Translation”, Hong Kong: CommercialPress, 1987. This “Into... peep" formulation beautifully translates the word 入“enter”.
* Line 4: 復照 is taken to simply mean “shineagain”, hence, “To shed again on the green moss", and with “the day’s remaininglight” added so as to complete the meaning and the rhyme.

馬致遠: 天淨沙: 秋思 Ma Zhiyuan: Tian Jing Sha: Autumn Thoughts"

2011-09-07T06:26:00.000+08:00

This poem is a 曲 "qu" or song of the 元 Yuan Dynasty which is akin to 詞 "ci" or song of the 宋 Song Dynasty made up of long and short lines. I had earlier last May posted a Song "ci", Yue Fei's "The River All Red". This is my first attempt at a Yuan "qu". This poem is particularly challenging as it is a sheer juxtaposition of images, e.g. "dried vine(s)", "old tree(s)", "evening crow(s)" in the first line followed by more in subsequent lines. While I can simply present the images in sequence (montage?) like most faithful translators do, I have chosen to give a clear interpretation to the whole poem by adding verbs to 4 of the 5 lines. So we have "crows ... roosting", "homes of people nestling" leading up in contrast to "scrawny horse ... trudging", "sun ... setting" (verb in the original), and "wanderer ... a-roaming". "They have homes, while I don't," so to speak. In so doing, I of course run the risk of being labelled "a square peg in a round hole" or, more precisely, "an over-sized square peg fits not the round hole". But at least some consolation can be found in the "ing" rhyme in an AAAAA rhyme scheme made possible only by the addition of verbs not present but implied in the original. Please enjoy reading it out slowly, loudly.

馬致遠: 天淨沙: 秋思

Ma Zhiyuan (1260-1364): Tian Jing Sha (Sky Pure/Cleansed Sand): Autumn Thoughts

1 枯藤老樹昏鴉

2 小橋流水人家

3 古道西風瘦馬

4 夕陽西下

5 斷腸人在天涯

1 An old tree, dried vines entwined, by ev’ning crows come roosting;

2 O’er a small bridge, by a running stream, homes of people nestling.

3 On an old road, in the autumn wind, a scrawny horse keeps trudging;

4 The sun, slanting, to the west, setting ---

5 Heart-torn, lovelorn, the wanderer, to the verge of the sky a-roaming.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黄宏發

18^th August 2010 (revised 19.8.10; 20.8.10; 6.9.10)

Notes:

* The original is in 5 lines with the first 3 lines in 6 characters, the 4th a 4-character line and the last line back to 6 characters. The rhyme scheme is AAAAA with an “a” or “ah” rhyme. (It should be noted that although the last word in the last line is pronounced “ngai” in Cantonese, it is “ya” in Putonghua.). My English rendition emulates the pattern of the original with 6 beats/stresses in the first 3 lines and the last and 4 beats/stresses in the 4th line. My rhyme scheme is AAAAA like the original, with a uniform “ing” ending. Although, strictly speaking, a simple “ing” does not constitute a rhyme, the pattern is pleasing to the eye and the rendition, hopefully, also pleasing to the ear. As will be seen from the following work draft, most of the verbs ending with “ing” are not in the original (lines 1-3 and 5) but are added primarily to produce this eye rhyme pattern:-

Dried (bald/bare) vines, old tree, evening crows (add: roosting)

Small bridge, running water (stream/rivulet), people (others) homes (add: nestling)

Old road, west (autumn/high) wind, scrawny horse (add: trudging)

Evening sun west sets (slanting/setting)

Guts-torn (heart-torn/love-lorn) man at sky’s (land’s) end (add: roaming/a-roaming)

As can also be seen from the above, although none of the verbs concerned is in the original, each and every is implied and is essential in translation whether into English or into modern day Chinese.

* Line 1: I had considered “dead”, “bald” and “bare” for 枯 but have decided for “dried”. I have added “entwined”, which is not in the original, for assonance with “vines” in addition to being descriptive of a scene of the symbiosis of the tree and vines. The word “come” in “come roosting” should be read unstressed.

* Line 2: For 水I have chosen “stream” over “waters/rivulet”. For 人家 I had considered “others’ homesteads/homes of others” to cover the poet’s (though ambiguous, yet readily apparent) meaning that none of the houses is the wanderer’s home, but have decided that “homes of people” should suffice. “Nestle/nestling” here is ambiguously rich in meaning. It takes in the meaning of both “lie half hidden or embedded in some place” and “lie snugly in some situation”. (Shorter Oxford Dictionary)

* Line 3: For 西風 I have rejected the literal “west wind(s)” as, to the Englishmen and the Europeans, west wind is a spring wind, Zephyr, which is not what the poet refers to. I have then considered “winds now high” but have decided for “in the autumn wind”. The word “keeps” in “keeps trudging” should be read unstressed.

* Line 5: I have spelt out 人 “man” as the “wanderer”. I had considered “to/in the/a land at the sky’s end a-roaming”, but have decided for “to the verge of the sky a-roaming”. I have added “a- (meaning in the process of)” to “roaming” so as to amplify my interpretation that 在天涯 means 浪迹天涯 , not just “at the verge of the sky”, but “to the verge of the sky a-roaming”.

李白: 秋浦歌其十四(首行--爐火照天地) Li Bai: Song of Qiupu XIV (First line--Their furnace fire illumes both earth and sky)

2011-08-02T16:37:00.005+08:00

李白: 秋浦歌其十四(首行--爐火照天地)

1 爐火照天地

2 紅星亂紫煙

3 赧郎明月夜

4 歌曲動寒川

Here, we have a rare and unique poem by the poet immortal Li Bai---in praise of labour, in praise of smelters in particular and of working men in general without using in the original poem, a single word of praise on labour, on smelting and on the workers. This English rendition of mine falls short of his very high standard, not far short, I hope, as I have only spelt out the "smelters". I do hope you will enjoy it.

My rendition was first posted 3 days ago last Friday on my HKEJ blog (link at top right corner of this page) . I wish to take this opportunity to thank all fellow bloggers who have contributed to that blog and this. It was they on the other blog that goaded me to take on the translation of this particular poem in the first place. Here is my rendition slightly revised:-

Li Bai (701-762): Song of Qiupu XIV (First line--Their furnace fire illumes both earth and sky)

1 Their furnace fire illumes both earth and sky,

2 Red sparks spiking its purple smoke awry.

3 A night in clear moonlight, the red-faced smelters,

4 Their songs bestir the wintry stream nearby.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發

20^th July 2011 (revised 30.7.11)

Notes:

* This English rendition is in pentameter (5 metrical feet) while the original is in 5-character lines. The rhyme scheme is AAXA while the original’s is XAXA.

* Line 1: I had considered “The furnace fire lights up the earth and sky” but have decided for “Their furnace fire illumes both earth and sky”. The order of 天地 “sky” and “earth” is reversed as “earth and sky” sounds so much better and also as to start the rhyme with “sky”.

* Line 2: I had originally begun the line with "Its red sparks" but have now decided for simply "Red sparks". I had considered “poking” but have now decided to use “spiking”.

* Line 3: I have reversed the order of the 2 halves of the line. For 明月夜, I had considered “On this a moonlit night” which is clearly inferior to “A night in clear moonlight”. For 赧郎 (red-faced men), I have decided to abandon literal translations such as “the men, red-faced”, “the men, all flushed” and “their faces, all red/flushed” to make plain those men are not just men, not even just workers, but smelters, hence, “the red-faced smelters”.

* Line 4: I had considered using “work songs”, but with “smelters” spelt out in line 3, I can simply use “songs”. I have added “nearby” to end the rhyme. The addition is reasonable as smelting requires water close by.

温庭筠: 更漏子 (首行-玉爐香) Weng Tingyun: Geng Lou Zi (Clepsydra, or Water Clock) (1st line- A jadite incense burner)

2011-07-12T17:39:00.004+08:00

温庭筠: 更漏子 (一): 秋意

1 玉爐香

2 紅蠟淚

3 偏照畫堂秋思

4 眉翠薄

5 鬢雲殘

6 夜長衾枕寒

7 梧桐樹

8 三更雨

9 不道離情正苦

10 一葉葉

11 一聲聲

12 空階滴到明

This is my latest translated work. This "long-short lined lyric" poem (or "ci" 詞) by the great late Tang dynasty poet Wen Tingyun is of the autumn sentiments of a woman left at home. Although the cause is not apparent in the poem, one can reasonably imagine the husband at war. Whether or not a war weary poem, it beautifully portrays the love they share or, at least, the deep love of hers. Here is my rendition:-

Wen Tingyun (812-870): Geng Lou Zi (Clepsydra, or Water Clock) I: Autumn Sentiments

1 A jadite incense burner,

2 Red wax, in tears, aglow,

3 Lights up, in the hall, a face immersed in autumn sorrow.

4 Her painted eyebrows waned,

5 Her hair no more well groomed,

6 To a long night of a cold bed she’s doomed.

7 The phoenix tree now stripping,

8 From midnight drizzles dripping,

9 They know not her heart, the pains of separation a-ripping.

10 A leaf follows a leaf,

11 A plop echoes a drop,

12 Till morn unslept, onto empty steps they plop.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發

7^th July 2011 (revised 8.7.11; 12.7.11)

Notes:

* In this English rendition, I have used trimeter (3 metrical feet) for the original 3-character lines, hexameter (6 feet) for 6-character lines, and pentameter (5 feet) for 5-character lines. The rhyme scheme is XAAXBB, CCCXDD as in the original. Though not apparent in current Chinese pronunciation, lines 2 淚 and 3 思 do rhyme as being in the “置” rhyme, and lines 7 樹, 8 雨 and 9 苦 also rhyme as being in the”遇” rhyme.

* Line 1: I had variously considered “Jadite, the incense burner”, “A jadite burner of incense”, “Incense in a jadite censer” and “Incense from a jadite burner”, but have decided for the plain “A jadite incense burner”.

* Line 2: I had considered “Red candles, in tears, aglow”, but have decided to literally translate the synecdoche in the original Chinese as “wax”. I have added “aglow” which is not in the original line 2 but implied in line 3 so as to rhyme with “sorrow” in line 3.

* Line 3: 偏照 is translated as “lights up” to follow on from “aglow” in line 2. I have interpreted 秋思 not per se as “autumn sentiments” but as those of a lady left at home (probably by her army husband at the frontier) and, hence, rendered as “a face immersed in autumn sorrow”.

* Lines 4 and 5: I had considered but rejected “Her painted brows have waned,/ Her hair by now ungroomed” and “Her painted eyebrows, now waned./ Her hair, no longer (well) groomed”.

* Line 6: 衾枕 is translated as “bed”, instead of the literal “quilt and pillow”, in the interest of a shorter 5-foot line. I have interpreted 衾枕寒 “quilt, pillow cold” to mean “sleeping alone”, hence “a cold bed” suffices. (One can either take “quilt and pillow” in the original as a synecdoche to mean “bed”, or take my “bed” as a synecdoche for the original “quilt and pillow”.) The line should be read as “pyrrhic/ spondee/ pyrrhic/ spondee/ iamb”.

* Lines 7 and 8: I have added “stripping” (line 7)” and “dripping” (line 8), which are not in the original, so as to make a rhyme for lines 7, 8 and 9 and to herald in “a leaf follows a leaf” (line 10) and “a plop echoes a drop” (line 11).

* Line 8: 三更, the third watch of the night (from 11 p.m. to 1 a.m.) is, here, translated as “midnight”. I have added “From” so as to be consistent with “Till morn” in line 12

* Line 9: The word “separation” should be read with both “se-” and “-ra-” accented.

* Line 11: As the word 聲 “sound” in the original refers to raindrops, the meaning of the line is translated as “drop” with the onomatopoeic “plop” and the verb “echoes” to translate the repetition of 聲.

* Line 12: I have added “unslept” which, though not in the original, is both reasonably implied and, more important, necessary as (a) the phrase “Till morn unslept” subtly shifts the focus back to the lady protagonist and retains the ambiguity of 空階滴到明 that, at daybreak, drizzles may not stop and may carry on which translations like “till the break of day” or “till the dawn of morn” cannot succeed, and (b) the assonance of the “ep” sound in “unslept” and “steps”

李白: 山中問答 Li Bai: Why in the Mountains

2011-06-02T16:37:00.010+08:00

Andrew Wong's English Rendition of Li Bai "Why in the Mountains"

李白: 山中問答(答俗人)

1 問余何事(意)棲碧山

2 笑而不答心自閒

3 桃花流水杳然去

4 別有天地非人間

What a beautiful little poem by Tang dynasty China's "Immortal Poet" Li Bai 詩仙李白. I hope my rendition in translation has done Li Bai justice. You may wish to note that I have (1) kept the original rhyme scheme AABA or AAXA (with the "een" rhyme to translate the original "aan" rhyme), (2) provided every line with a "caesura" or "pause" somewhere in the middle (in this case, after 3 beats) to translate the invariable and often very prominent caesura after 4 characters in the 7-character (or after 2 in the 5-character) Chinese quatrain line, and (3) used "beats" or "feet", and not "syllables", to account for the line length of the the English rendition in translating the original lines of equal length (in this case, 7-character). I am in total agreement with the late Arthur Cooper's insistence on the "caesura", but differ from him in that he counts "syllables" while I count "beats". His rendition of this poem can be found on p.115 of his "Li Po and Tu Fu", London: Penguin, 1973, his methodology on pp.82-83. Here is my rendition; please read aloud and enjoy Li Bai (Li Po):-

Li Bai (701-762) "Why in the Mountains (: In Reply to the Uninitiated)"

1 You ask, oh, why I’ve chosen to live in the mountains green;

2 I smile without replying, my heart sedate, serene.

3 Peach flowers on rivulets gambol, then ramble out of sight; ’tis

4 Heaven and earth with a difference, not of the world we’d been.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黄宏發

7^th November 2008 (revised10.11.08; 14.11.08; 17.11.08: 12.4.10)

Notes:

* The original poem is in 7-character lines; this English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet). The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original.

* Title and lines 1 and 2: My interpretation of the poem is that of the poet “thinking to himself”, not a real dialogue or conversation, hence, my title “Why in the Mountains” and, hence, lines I and 2 can, alternatively, begin as “If you ask” and “I would smile” respectively.

* Line 1: The words “I’ve chosen” or “I choose” are not in the original but can be reasonably inferred. The addition provides a much needed break/pause/caesura to the line, and “I’ve chosen” does the job better than “I choose”.

* Line 2: I had considered “I smile in reply speechless” and have decided “speechless” too strong, hence, out of place for the “heart, sedate, serene”.

* Line 3: I had used “peach petals” but have now decided for “peach flowers”. I have chosen to use “peach flowers” rather than “rivulets” or both as the subject, hence, “(peach flowers on rivulets) … gambol … ramble” to translate 流 and 去.

* Line 4: I have used “not of the world we’d been” to mean “not of the world we men had been” to translate 非人間. Alternatively, “been” can be changed to “seen”.

李煜: 相見歡/烏夜啼(首行--林花謝了春紅) Li Yu: Xiang Jian Huan(Happy Together)/Wu Ye Ti(Crows Caw at Night) (Flower groves have shed their spring red halo)

2011-05-06T01:14:00.008+08:00

Today I am posting my rendition of a second poem by the last emperor of the Southern Tang dynasty Li Yu known as Li Houzhu (the last one being posted in February and March). Like the last one, the line lengths and the two rhymes are strictly followed and reproduced in English. Hope you enjoy it:-

李煜: 相見歡/烏夜啼其二: 懷情(首行 - 林花謝了春红)

Li Yu (937-978): Xiang Jian Huan/Wu Ye Ti (Happy Together/Crows Caw at Night) II: With Love (First line: Flower groves have shed their spring red halo)

1 林花謝了春红

2 太怱怱

3a 無奈朝來寒雨

3b 晚來風

4 胭脂淚

5 相留醉

6 幾時重

7a 自是人生長恨

7b 水長東

1 Flower groves have shed their spring red halo,

2 Oh, far too soon to go,

3a Weathering not the morning sleets and

3b the winds by evening blow.

4 Tears of rouge you’re dripping,

5 Together, our wine we’re sipping;

6 Ever again in the morrow?

7a Ah, life is beset as always with sorrow

7b as eastwards waters must flow.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發

14^thFebruary 2011 (revised 17.2.11; 21.2.11; 24.2.11; 25.2.11; 10.3.11; 30.4.11)

Notes:-

* This English rendition is in long and short lines, tetrameter (4 feet) for the 6-character lines (1, 3a and 7a) and trimester (3 feet) for the 3-character lines (2, 3b, 4, 5, 6 and 7b). The rhyme scheme is AAA, BBAA (or, if lines 3 and 7 were made into 2 lines each, AAXA, BBAXA). I am indebted to my friend D.C. Lau (Din Cheuk) 劉殿爵 (passed away 2010, God bless his soul!) for his rendition of this poem the editor has entitled “To ‘Crows Cry in the Night’ No. 1” in Alice W. Cheang (ed.) “A Silver Treasury of Chinese Lyrics” Hong Kong: The Chinese University 2003, p. 28. From him, I have borrowed “too soon” (line 2), “tears of rouge” (line 4), “ever…again” (line 6), and “always beset” (line 7a).

* Lines 1 and 2: I had originally written “Flowers in the groves have lost their springtime glow”, then decided to move the idea and the word 春 “spring” from line 1 to line 2 (“Oh spring, too soon to go”) in order to restrict line 1 to 4 feet (“Flowers in the groves have lost their glow”), but have now decided for “Flower groves have shed their spring red halo”. I am grateful to D.C. Lau for the repeated “oo” sound in “too soon” to translate 怱怱.

* Lines 3a and 3b: The lines are in fact a single 9-character line with a caesura breaking it into 6 and 3 characters rendered as a 7 feet line of 4 feet followed by 3.

* Line 4: I am grateful to D.C. Lau for rendering 胭脂淚aptly and beautifully as “tears of rouge”, rouge being a red colour facial makeup. Though not in the original, I have added the very reasonable “dripping” to make it possible to rhyme lines 4 and 5.

* Line 5: For 相留,I had originally penned “Onto”, then considered “Mingling with”, “Commingling with” and “Tingeing”, but have now decided simply for “Together”. 醉 is interpreted not as “drunk” but as “to drink wine” and is rendered as “our wine we’re sipping”.”

* Line 6: I am grateful to D.C. Lau for his interpretation of 幾時 not as “when” but as “ever” and his choice of “again” for 重. The line, in his words, reads “Will this ever be again?” My “Ever again” is an abbreviation of “Will this ever be again in the morrow?” or “Will we ever meet again in the morrow?” I have used “in the morrow” to mean not just “tomorrow” but a “morrow” extended to the future.

*Lines 7a and 7b: Structurally, these correspond to lines 3a and 3b and are similarly rendered. I take 自是 to mean “what follows is true” and simply translate it as “Oh” or“Ah” to be followed by the truism. I had originally considered formulating the line as “Oh, mine is a life, etc.”, but have now decided to borrow D.C. Lau’s “always beset with” followed by “sorrow”. The “sorrow” rhyme is accidental as I regard “grief” too weak and “woe” too strong (which also rhymes). For line 7b “as eastwards waters must flow”, I had considered revising “waters” to read “rivers”, but have now decided against it.

賀知章: 回鄉偶書 He Zhizhang: Coming Home

2011-04-02T12:29:00.009+08:00

I have recently been asked by a reader who read my November 2008 post of my rendition of He Zhizhang's "Ode to the Willow" if I had also rendered other poems by the same poet. I happen to have done just one more and this happens to be the poem the reader is after. So, here is my rendition of He Zhizhang's "Coming Home" and the history of my struggle to get it right, knowing full well that translation is never a finished business.

I hope you do enjoy it:-

賀知章: 回鄉偶書其一 (首行 - 少小離家…)

He Zhizhang (659—744): Coming Home -- Fortuitous Lines I (First line - I left home young…)

1 少小離家老大回

2 鄉音無改鬢毛摧(衰)

3 兒童相見不相識

4 笑問客從何處來

1 I left home young, now old, I return care free,

2 My tongue unchanged, my hair now thinner be.

3 Unknown I am to the boys and girls I meet,

4 Smiling they ask, “Sir, from whence come thee?”

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發

2 March 2008 (revised 18.3.08; 23.3.08; 7.7.08; 21.11.08; 29.3.11)

Notes:-

* This English rendition is in pentameter (5 metrical feet) whilst the original poem features 7-charcter lines throughout. The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original

* History of this rendition: I am indebted to施頴洲 for his rendition of the same poem he entitled “Notes on Homecoming” on pp. 26-27 of his ”Tang and Song Poetry: Chinese-English” (中英對照讀唐詩宋詞), Taipei: Chiuko (台北: 九歌), 2006, in particular, for his slant (“fuzzy”?) rhyme words of “home(1), grown(2), and from(4)” which are, perhaps, appropriate as the original Chinese rhyme words of “回(1) 摧/衰(2) 來(4)” as pronounced today are less than perfect. On the basis of his rhyme words, my first draft of 25.2.2008 was as follows:

1 In youth, I left, now aged, I’ve come home,

2 My tongue unchanged, my hair thinner grown.

3 Unknown am I, to the children I meet,

4 Smiling they ask, “Where are you from?”

I liked it much, but continued to work on the “perfect” rhyme and came to a revised version on 23.3.08 which featured two pentameter (5 metrical feet) lines followed by two tetrameter (4 metrical feet) lines as follows:

1 In youth I left, now old, I return carefree,

2 My tongue unchanged, my hair thinner be.

3 Unknown am I to the children I meet,

4 Smiling they ask, “From whence come thee?”

I continued to revise it and came to a new revised version on 21.11.08 which was in pentameter (5 metrical feet) as follows:

1 In youth I left, now old, I return carefree,

2 My tongue unchanged, my hair thinner be.

3 Unknown am I to the boys and girls I meet,

4 Smiling they ask, “Sir, from whence come thee?”

Now, after a lapse of two and a half years, I have further touched up this revised version of my rendition which is as presented in the text.

* Line 1: He Zhizhang in fact did return to his native place on his retirement at well over 80 years of age and the poem was written on his return, hence, “now old, I return care free”, “care free” or alternatively “a retiree” being added for the rhyme.

* Line 2: To translate 鄉音, I had considered borrowing the word “brogue” from my mentor John Turner’s rendition of the same poem he entitled “Homecoming” on p.27 of his “A Golden Treasury of Chinese Poetry”, Hong Kong: Renditions Books, The Chinese University of H.K., 1989, but decided “tongue” goes better with “hair”.

* Line 3: I can obviously use “see”, which is literally equivalent to見, to end the line. I have chosen “meet” because it is closer to相見 than “see” and, more important, because I wish to maintain the AABA rhyme scheme.

李煜: 浪淘沙 (新修訂本) Li Yu: Lang Tao Sha (Newly Revised Version)

2011-03-04T11:25:00.009+08:00

My rendition of this famous long-short-lined poem (詞 "ci" or "tz'u) by the last ruler of the Southern Tang dynasty 李後主 Li Yu 李煜 was first posted on this blog some 3 weeks ago simultaneously on this and my other blog www.hkej.com (please click "pen on paper" logo at right hand top corner). The response was overwhelming and I have indeed learned a lot from the discussion that ensued. Above all, it triggered me to take a serious second look at my first rendition which I completed rather hastily in only 3 days. To my chagrin, I found I might indeed have misjudged the situation the poet-king was in, misinterpreted the tone of the poem and rendered and/or added words which are impolitic. This is why I am posting my rendition afresh on this and my other blog, this time this newly revised version.

I take this opportunity to thank all bloggers on both blogs. I think I have conceded to practically all the points they have made and revised my rendition accordingly though not necessarily for the same reasons, as will be seen in the notes. I thank blogger [TJPete] for taking me to task on my uncalled for reference to Milton's "Paradise Lost" and "Paradise Regained" which I have now dropped.

I must thank, in particular, Professor Xu Yuanchong (XYZ) of Peking University. It was his "commentary" (pp. 361-3 in his "On Chinese Verse in English Rhyme" that had led me into wrongly (as I see it now) interpreting 天上 "heaven" 人間 "men's world/earth" as in contrast. But it is his own "rendition of the poem" (supra) that has opened my eyes to the subtleties of the poem. Note in particular his rendering 身是客 in line 4 as "under hospitable roof" and 春去也天上人間 in lines 9 and 10 as "spring's gone away, so has the paradise of yesterday".

Here I give you my newly revised version:-

李煜: 浪淘沙懷舊

Li Yu (937-978): Lang Tao Sha (Waves Scouring the Sands): Reminiscence

1 簾外雨潺潺

2 春意闌珊

3 羅衾不耐五更寒

4 夢裡不知身是客

5 一晌貪歡

6 獨自莫憑欄

7 無限江山

8 别時容易見時難

9 流水落花春去也

10 天上人間

1 Outside the curtains, a mizzling, drizzling rain,

2 Spring is on the wane,

3 The chills of foredawn, my silk quilt cannot long sustain.

4 In dream unaware I’m none but a guest of the emperor’s, I cling

5 Awhile to pleasures vain.

6 (From leaning alone by the railings I must refrain,)

Alone, from gazing afar I must refrain, (revised 10.3.11)

7 Fair is that rivered terrain,

8 A land I left so lightly, so hard to return to again.

9 Like blossoms scattered on rippling waters, spring is gone!

10 May heaven on earth remain!

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發

8^th February 2011 (revised 9.2.11; 10.2.11; 17.2.11; 26.2.11; 28.2.11)

Newly revised: 28^th February 2011 (revised 1.3.11)

Notes:-

* The original poem is in 2 stanzas of long and short lines with an identical 5-4-7-7-4 (characters) pattern and an identical AAAXA rhyme scheme, represented diagrammatically as: 5A/ 4A/ 7A/ 7X/ 4A// 5A/ 4A/ 7A/ 7X/ 4A//. In this English rendition, I have used pentameter (5 feet) for the two 5-character lines, trimeter (3 feet) for the four 4-character lines and hexameter (6 feet) for the four 7-character lines with the same AAAXA rhyme scheme, the diagrammatic representation for reference being: 5A/ 3A/ 6A/ 6X/ 3A// 5A/ 3A/ 6A/ 6X/ 3A// (I have been able to use a single rhyme for both stanzas without having to use a different rhyme for the second stanza as I did for Yue Fei’s “Man Jiang Hong”.) I wish to record my indebtedness to 施頴洲 for the rhyme words of “rain”, “wane” and “vain” in his rendition of the same poem he entitled “In Captivity (Tune: Waves Washing Sand)” on pp.184-185 of his ”Tang and Song Poetry: Chinese-English” (中英對照讀唐詩宋詞), Taipei: Chiuko (台北: 九歌), 2006.

* Line 1: For the word 簾 “curtain”, I had originally used “window” on the ground that “curtain/screen” can and should, in this context, be taken as a synecdoche to stand for 窗 “window”, but have now decided to use “curtains”. For the onomatopoeiac 潺潺 I have used the “-izzling” sound in two different words instead of repeating either “mizzling” or “drizzling”

* Line 2: I had originally penned “Springtide, on the wane” but have now decided for “Spring is on the wane” to pave the way to the final categorical “spring is gone” in line 9.

* Line 3: 五更 (5^th watch/period) is the last period (3 to 5 a.m.) in the ancient Chinese system of night watches (1^st7 to 9 p.m., 2^nd 9 to 11 p.m., 3^rd 11 p.m. to 1 a.m., and 4^th 1 to 3 a.m.) and is the period just before dawn. I had originally used “of foredawn” (the word foredawn found only in American dictionaries, as far as I gather) which best fits 五更 and sounds so much better than the coined word “pre-dawn”. I then decided to use “before dawn”, but have now decided to revert to “foredawn”. Although I have decided for “The chills of foredawn”, “The chills before dawn” is equally acceptable to me.

* Line 4: I had added “of my captor’s” to qualify 客 “guest” so as to make clear the true meaning of the line and penned “I’m none but a guest of my captor’s”. I then decided to add “king no more” to the line to replace “none”, thus: “I’m king no more but a guest of my captor’s”. Then, bearing in mind the poet only says 身是客 “myself as a guest” in the original, words to be added by the translator, if at all necessary, must be discreet lest they run contrary to the non-offensive formulation in the original. I then considered “I’m lord no more but a guest in cloisters” and “I’m none but a cloistered guest of the emperor’s”as the poet was under house arrest, and then “I’m none but an honoured/noble guest of the emperor’s” as the poet was given the title of “king” 王 by the emperor 皇. In the end, I have simply decided for “I’m none but a guest of the emperor’s”.

* Line 5: I have added “vain” for the rhyme to end the line, but which carries through the “dream” of line 4 and the futility of it all. I had originally penned “For a while, I while in vain”, then changed it to “I while a while in vain”. I then considered the more faithful rendition of “A moment’s pleasures in vain”, but have decided for “I cling/ Awhile to pleasures vain” with “I cling” moved up to line 4.

* Line 6: 憑欄 literally means “leaning/standing by the railings” and was originally translated as such. I had, however, interpreted and translated it as 遠眺 literally “looking afar” and had penned “Looking afar, alone, from that I refrain”, then “Alone, from looking afar, I must refrain”, but have now decided to revert to my original translation to retain the ambiguity, thus: “From leaning alone by the railings I must refrain”.

* Line 7: 無限 literally “infinite/infinitely” is interpreted not as (無限)大 literally “big/vast” but as (無限)美 literally “fair” and translated as such. For 江山 “rivers and mountains”, I had originally penned “(Fair) was my terrain, domain”, then “(Fair) was my kingdom’s terrain”, but have now decided for “(Fair) is that rivered terrain” being closer to the original. (Shorter Oxford defines “rivered” as “watered by rivers, furnished with a river or rivers”.) The avoidance of words like “domain” and “kingdom” together with changing “was” to “is”and “my” to “that” help maintain the subtlety of the original.

* Line 8: I had originally adapted 别 (literally “part with”) and (再)見 (literally “see again”) to mean “losing” and “regaining” the kingdom, and translated them as “paradise”, “lost” and “regain”. Although I said in the note: just borrowing from the titles of John Milton’s “Paradise Lost” and “Paradise Regained”, I was taken to task, and rightly, by a blogger [TJPete]. I now humbly concede that the reference is unnecessary, irrelevant and distracting, not just what is said in the note, but the very words “paradise”, “lost” and “regain” all bundled together in a single line, should have been avoided to preclude confusion. In addition, the “lost, regain” sentiment, though present in the line, is a hidden one which should only be intimated but not spelt out. I have now decided to revert to a less interpretative translation, thus: “A land I left so readily, so hard to return to again”.

* Line 9: For 流水落花 literally “running waters, falling/fallen flowers”, I had considered variously “Fallen flowers on rippling waters”, “Fallen petals on rippling waters”, “Blossoms falling, waters rippling” and “Like petals falling on waters rippling”, decided to use “With blossoms falling on rippling waters”, but have now decided to revise it as “Like blossoms scattered on rippling waters”.

* Line 10: This is the most difficult line to translate. I had originally penned the line as “’Twas heav’n, now a world profane” with a fairly long note: [I think the key words … are 春去也 “spring is gone/no more” … which I take to mean no matter how beautiful spring was/is, it is gone and forever gone … This leads us to interpret天上人間 not as a past “heaven on earth” … but as a past 天上 “heaven/paradise” diametrically opposed to the present 人間 “men’s world on earth”, thus, “’Twas heav’n, now men’s world”, to which I have added “profane” (meaning, inter alia, unholy, sacrilegious, common, vulgar) to complete the rhyme and to make plain my interpretation of the sentiments of this last king-poet of the Li family line … (then) shorten(ed) … to “now a world profane”.]

Now that I have come to realize the need for the poet to vent his sentiments very discreetly as he was under house arrest and subject to the whims of the Song emperor, I now embrace the most natural and plausible interpretation of the line as “heaven on earth” or “heavenly world” and have penned the line as a prayer: “May heaven on earth remain!”

李煜: 浪淘沙懷舊 Li Yu: Lang Tao Sha (Waves Scouring the Sands) Reminiscence

2011-02-10T17:08:00.004+08:00

This lament of a captive king Li Houzhu 李後主, the last ruler 後主 of the Li 李 family line's Southern Tang 南唐 dynasty in 10th century China, is my latest rendition. I am posting it simultaneously on this and my other blog at www.hkej.com. One cannot help but think of and speculate on Mubarak in Egypt. But, no politics, please!

The poem is most touching as will be seen in this and other translations. It is, in addition, beautifully structured with a single rhyme running through 8 of the 10 lines of varying length in a pattern of 5-4-7-7-4 characters per stanza. In my rendition, I have emulated this pattern. My rhyme scheme is AAAXA, AAAXA as in the original. My long-short line pattern, in terms of beats/stresses/feet, is 5-3-6-6-3 per stanza. I have not seen this done before, and shall be grateful to be able to get in touch with others who are attempting the same.

This poem and my rendition are not long, but my notes are. So, just sit back and enjoy the poem.

李煜: 浪淘沙懷舊

Li Yu (936-978): Lang Tao Sha (Waves Scouring the Sands): Reminiscence

1 簾外雨潺潺

2 春意闌珊

3 羅衾不耐五更寒

4 夢裡不知身是客

5 一晌貪歡

6 獨自莫憑欄

7 無限江山

8 别時容易見時難

9 流水落花春去也

10 天上人間

1 Outside the window, a mizzling, drizzling rain,

2 Spring is on the wane,

3 The chills b’fore dawn, my silk quilt cannot long sustain.

4 In dream, unaware I’m none but a guest of my captor’s,

5 For awhile I while, in vain.

6 Alone: from looking afar, I must refrain,

7 Fair was my kingdom’s terrain,

8 A paradise lost so readily, so very hard to regain.

9 Like petals falling on rippling waters, spring is no more:

10 ‘Twas heav’n, now a world profane.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發

8^th February 2011 (revised 9.2.11; 10.2.11; 2^nd 10.2.11)

Notes:-

* This English rendition is in long and short lines, pentameter (5 feet) for the two 5-character lines (1 and 6), trimeter (3 feet) for the four 4-character lines (2, 5, 7 and 10), and hexameter (6 feet) for the four 7-character lines (3, 4, 8 and 9). The rhyme scheme follows the original AAAXA, AAAXA. I have been able to use a single rhyme for the entire poem of 2 stanzas without having to use a different rhyme for the second stanza as I did for Yue Fei’s “Man Jiang Hong”. I wish to record my indebtedness to 施頴洲for the rhyme words of “rain”, “wane”and “vain” in his rendition of the same poem he entitled “In Captivity (Tune: Waves Washing Sand)” on pp.184-185 of his ”Tang and Song Poetry: Chinese-English” (中英對照讀唐詩宋詞), Taipei: Chiuko (台北: 九歌), 2006.

* Line 1: I had considered “curtain” but have decided for “window” as 簾 (curtain or screen) can and should be taken as a synecdoche to stand for 窗 (window). This choice is due in part to my conscious decision not to feature in rendition any internal rhyme of the “-ain” sound for reasons explained in my notes on lines 7 and 8, and extended, in this case, to the eye rhyme of “curtain” and “rain”. For the onomatopoeiac 潺潺 I have used the “-izzling” sound in two different words instead of repeating either “mizzling” or “drizzling”

* Line 2: I had originally penned “Springtide, on the wane” but have now decided for “Spring is on the wane” to pave the way to the final categorical “spring is no more (gone)” in line 9.

* Line 3: 五更 (5^th watch/period) is the last period (3 to 5 a.m.) in the ancient Chinese system of night watches (1^st7 to 9 p.m., 2^nd 9 to 11 p.m., 3^rd 11 p.m. to 1 a.m., and 4^th 1 to 3 a.m.) and is the period just before dawn. I had originally used the word “foredawn” (unfortunately found only in American dictionaries, as far as I gather) which best fits 五更 and sounds so much better than the coined word “pre-dawn”. Although I have decided for “The chills b’fore dawn”, “The chills of foredawn” is equally acceptable to me.

* Line 4: I have added “of my captor’s” to qualify 客 “guest” so as to make clear the true meaning of the line. I had considered “I’m king no more, a guest of my captor’s””, but have decided for “I’m none but a guest of my captor’s” as being more faithful.

* Line 5: I have added “in vain” for the rhyme but which carries through the “dream” state of line 4,

* Line 6: 憑欄 literally “leaning by the railings” is interpreted and translated as 遠眺 literally “looking afar”. I had originally penned “Looking afar, alone, from that I refrain”, but have now decided for “Alone: from looking afar, I must refrain”.

* Line 7: 無限 literally “infinite” is interpreted not as (無限)大 literally “big/vast” but as (無限)美 literally “fair” and translated as such. I had considered “Fair was my terrain, domain” but have decided for “Fair was my kingdom’s terrain” as the internal rhyme may be tediously distracting.

* Line 8: 别 literally “part with” and (再)見 literally “see again” are adapted to mean “losing” and “regaining” the kingdom and translated as “paradise”, “lost” and “regain” borrowing just from the titles of John Milton’s “Paradise Lost” and “Paradise Regained”. I had considered “so hard to again regain”, but have decided for “so very hard to regain” avoiding the tedious internal rhyme of “again regain”.

* Line 9: For 流水落花 literally “running waters, fallen flowers”, I had considered “Fallen flowers on rippling waters”, “Fallen petals on rippling waters” and “Blossoms falling, waters rippling” which all begin the line with a stressed syllable. I have now decided to begin the line with an unstressed “Like” which turns the emphasis rightly to 春去也 literally spring is gone, thus, “Like petals falling on waters rippling, spring is no more”.

* Line 10: I think the key words to interpreting line 10 are 春去也 “spring is gone/no more” in line 9 meaning no matter how beautiful spring was/is, it is gone and forever gone, which meaning is fully in tune with the sentiments of all previous lines. This leads us to interpret天上人間 not as a past “heaven on earth” (this world, a heavenly paradise) the poet is reminiscing, but as a past 天上 “heaven/paradise” diametrically opposed to the present 人間 “men’s world”, thus, “’Twas heav’n, now men’s world”, to which I have added “profane” (meaning, inter alia, unholy, sacrilegious, common, vulgar) to complete the rhyme and to make plain my interpretation of the sentiments of this last king/emperor-poet of the Li family line 李後主 of the South Tang 南唐dynasty. After due consideration, I have decided to shorten “now men’s world profane” to “now a world profane”.

陳沆: 一字詩 Chen Hang: An 'A' Poem

2011-01-25T16:45:00.011+08:00

Happy New Year! Happy 2011! Sorry for the delay in posting this my January piece. Over last Christmas, I was given a task, so to speak, on my other blog (see link) by 2 fellow bloggers who offered their renditions of a "fun" poem by a Qing dynasty poet 陳沆 Chen Hang (1785-1826) which they entitled "The One Lyric" or "The One-word Lyric" as follows:-

tr. 筆非得 25 December 2010
1 One sail, one oar, one fishing boat.
2 One fisherman with one fishing hook,
3 Bending and lifting his head, laughing
4 With the moon and autumn in the river.

tr. frank yue (adapting 筆非得) 26 December 2010
1 One sail, one oar, one fishing boat.
2 One fisherman, one fishing hook,
3 Bending and lifting his head, laughing --
4 On the river, the full moon and autumn afloat.

Whatever the serious, philosophical (Taoist?) side of the poem may be, let us just tend to the fun side for the time being. How do you like the poem? How do you like the renditions? How would you do it? Have fun in the New Year! Here is how I have done it:-

(清)陳沆: 一字詩
(Qing) Chen Hang (1785-1826): An 'A' Poem

1 一帆一槳一漁(扁)舟
2 一個漁翁一釣鈎
3 一俯一仰一場笑
4 一江(輪)明月一江秋

1 (An oar, a sail, a smallish fishing boat,)
An oar and a sail, a little fishing boat, (26.1.11)

2 (A hook for angling, a fisherman, I note,)
A fish hook for angling, a fisher folk, I note: (26.1.11)
3 A-dipping, a-lifting, a-laughing no matter what,

4 A river in moonlight, an autumn’s leaves afloat.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
26th December 2010 (revised 21.1.11) (further revised 26.1.11)

Notes:-
* This English rendition is in pentameter (5 metrical feet) while the original is in 7-character lines. The rhyme scheme is AABA as is the original.
* Title and whole poem: Literally 一字詩 is “one word poem” but means a poem using repeatedly the word “one”. For my rendition, I have used “A” and “An” instead of “one”, hence, the “An’s” and “A’s” throughout the poem and the title “An ‘A’ Poem”
* Lines 1 and 2: I have changed the order of the items in these two lines into sequences of “from the small to the big” (e.g. “ 槳oar” then “帆sail” in line 1, and “釣鉤 hook for angling” then “渔翁fisherman” in line 2) and “from the particular to the whole” (e.g. “ 槳, 帆oar, sail” then “舟 boat” in line 1).
* Line 1: I have incorporated both the 漁 “fishing” and 扁 “small” versions of the poem into my translation, hence, “smallish fishing boat”. For 槳 I had considered the more logical word of “scull 櫓” which, when we only have one on a boat with a sail, can double as a steering rudder, but dropped the idea. The word 扁 should be pronounced “pian” (“pin” in Cantonese) and not “bian” (“bin” in Cantonese). 扁舟 in Chinese poetry means “a little boat” and not “a flat boat” (pronounced ‘bian”). It can but does not mean “a number of boats rafted together” (扁 being equivalent to 編) and is certainly not a “raft” which is 筏 in Chinese.
* Line 2: I have added “I note” (not present in the original) to make the rhyme, but which links up beautifully every part of the poem.
* Line 3: I have taken 俯仰 not to literally mean “bending the body forward” then “raising/lifting the body upward” but to figuratively mean “dipping the fishing rod” (“a-dipping”) then “lifting the fishing rod” (a-lifting). I had considered “a-flipping” which rhymes best with “a-dipping” but have decided the “dipping-lifting” assonance would suffice. For 一場笑 “a scene of laughter”, I refused to take it to be caused by a good catch. In fact, I was inclined towards the opposite, i.e. for having caught naught, considering the sentiments in line 4 (moon light, autumn). I then decided to use “a-laughing loud and long” but have now decided for “a-laughing, no matter what” which best retains the original ambiguity. I could have written the line as “A dipping, a lifting, a laughter no matter what”, thus keeping all 3 “A’s” in line 3 as an indefinite article in line with the “A’s” in all other lines., but have decided that turning them into an “action” preposition makes line 3 so much more lively and appealing.
* Line 4: I have not incorporated the 輪 version into my translation in which I have rendered 一江明月 as “a river in moon light” and 一江秋 (a river in/of autumn) as “an autumn’s leaves afloat”.

白居易: 夜雪 Bai Juyi: Night in Snow

2010-12-10T15:13:00.004+08:00

Winter is approaching. Although it never snows in Hong Kong, those of us who had experienced snow may find this little poem of interest. The famed Tang dynasty poet Bai Juyi is also known by the name Po Chu-I.

白居易: 夜雪
Bai Juyi (772-846): Night in Snow

1 已訝衾枕冷
2 復見窗户明
3 夜深知雪重
4 時聞折竹聲

1 Surprised to find, so cold, my quilt and pillow,
2 Then light I see from the papered casement window.
3 Deep in the night, so heavy it snows, I know, when
4 Bamboos go crack ~ a sound, now ‘n then, I follow.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
22nd July 2009 (revised 23.7.09; 24.7.09; 3.8.09; 4.8.09; 5.8.09; 10.12.10)

Notes:
* This English rendition is in pentameter (5 metrical feet) to emulate the original 5-character lines. The rhyme scheme is AABA as I take the original to be. The “pillow, window, follow” rhyme is but a falling para-rhyme
* Line 2: The word 復 here means 後 “then”, not 再 “again”. The word 户 “door” is omitted in the translation as it refers to the Chinese “casement door” which is also a window. The word “papered” is added to make clear it is not a glass casement window/door which did not yet exist.
* Line 3: I had originally penned “so heavy’s the snow” but have now decided for “so heavy it snows”.
* Line 4: For the sound of bamboos breaking, I had considered “snap” and “clack”, but have decided for “crack”. For the word 時, I had considered “e’er ‘n anon (ever and anon)”, “now ‘n again (now and again)”and “then ‘n again (then and again)”, but have decided for “now ‘n then (now and then)”
`

韋應物: 秋夜寄邱二＋二員外 Wei Yingwu: Written on an Autumn Night to Squire Qiu

2010-11-05T13:39:00.002+08:00

It is now deep in autumn. Most ancient Chinese poets seem to miss their family and friends most in autumn. Wei Yingwu said in the 8th century: "On this crisp autumn night when pine-cones fall, I miss you and am thinking of you. You must still be up, thinking of me too." Though in the last the 20th and this the 21st century, poetry has been replaced by an "I miss you" card or an email "miss U" message, the sentiments remain the same. Why not borrow Wei's poetry?

韋應物: 秋夜寄邱員外
Wei Yingwu (739-792): Written on an Autumn Night to Squire Qiu

1 懷君屬秋夜
2 散步詠涼天
3 空山松子落
4 幽人應未眠

1 My friend, oh how I miss you, this autumn night!
2 I stroll, and a rhyme I roll -- of the clime now chilly,
3 Of the drop, dropping of pine-cones in the empty mountain,
4 And of you, my dear recluse, still up, willy-nilly.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黄宏發
23rd June 2009 (25.6.09; 26.6.09; 27.10.10; 5 11 10)

Notes:
* This English rendition is in pentameter (5 metrical feet) to emulate the 5-character lines of the original. The rhyme scheme is ABCB as in the original.
* Title: The addressee is a friend of the poet’s named Qiu Dan 邱丹 or Qiu Ershier 邱二十二 (probably means the 22nd son). Qiu was in retirement when Wei wrote the poem, and 員外 could either meant his former rank in officialdom 員外郎 or simply a country squire, and I have adopted the latter for the title.
* Lines 2, 3 and 4: I have repeated the word “of” in all 3 lines so as to treat everything in the 3 lines to be the content of the “rhyme (verse or poem)” rolling from the poet’s mouth while strolling. An alternative treatment, probably more faithful, is as follows:-
1 My friend, oh how I miss you, this autumn night!
2 I stroll, and a rhyme I roll of the air turned crispy.**
3 In the fall of pine-seeds, pine-cones in the empty hills,
4 I hope, my dear recluse, you’re still up, not sleepy.**
**The “crispy” (line 2) “not sleepy” (line 4) rhyme may not be perfect but is, I hope, acceptable as a para-rhyme or off rhyme.
* Line 2: I had considered “A rhyme I roll as I stroll”, then used “As I stroll, a rhyme I roll …” but have now decided for “I stroll, and a rhyme I roll …”.
* Line 3: I had originally written “Of the drop and plop of pine-cones …”, but have found the word “plop” (being a verb for dropping into water) less than satisfactory and have now decided for “Of the drop, dropping of pine-cones …”. I have translated 松子 not as “pine-seeds” but as a synecdoche for “pine-cones”. By repeating “drop” and by turning the second “drop” into the participle “dropping”, I hope to create the autumn sound of pine-cones falling.
* Line 4: I have used “still up” to translate 未眠. I am still considering whether or not “willy-nilly”, which I need for the rhyme, is a mistaken interpretation of or adds too much to 應 in the original.

李白: 清平調其三 Li Bai: 3rd of 3 Verses to the Qing & Ping Tunes (for Lady Yang)

2010-10-15T16:43:00.004+08:00

This is the 3rd and last of the 3 verses Li Bai wrote impromptu in honour of the peony flower and Lady Yang Yuhuan following the 1st and 2nd posted here this year in June and August respectively. Here we go:-

李白: 清平調三首其三
Li Bai (701-762): 3rd of Three Verses to the Qing and Ping Tunes (for Lady Yang)

1 名花傾國兩相歡
2 長得君王帶笑看
3 解釋春風無限恨
4 沈香亭北倚闌干

1 Famed peony, fairest lady -- in love requited, in bliss,
2 With the monarch’s eyes, all smiles, to find you, never miss.
3 North of the Agar Pavilion, by the railing together you lean,
4 Zephyr’s moods melancholic, to dispel, disperse, dismiss.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黄宏發
7th April 2010 (revised 8.4.10; 15.10.10)

Notes:
* This English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet) while the original is in 7-character lines. The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original.
* Line 1: To follow from line 1 of the 2nd verse in this series of three, I have identified the “flower” 花 as “peony” 牡丹 or 芍藥 which is known as the flower of the rich and the noble 富貴花. 傾國 does not literally mean “ruins the country, nation, kingdom, or empire” but alludes to “a ravishingly beautiful lady”, hence, “fairest lady”. I have translated 兩相歡 as “(the beautiful lady , likened to the queen of all flowers, is) in love, requited (by the monarch, and are both) in bliss”, and not as “(the monarch) takes pleasure in both the famous flower and the beautiful lady”.
* Lines 3 and 4: I have reversed the order of lines 3 and 4.
* Line 3: “Agar”, short for “agarwood” or “aloeswood”, “eaglewood”, etc., is the incense produced in aquilaria trees. In the second half of the line, I have added “together” which is not in the original, so as to amplify my interpretation of “the monarch and the lady both in love, in bliss” in line 1 and “the monarch and the lady in constant companionship” in line 2.
* Line 4: 解釋 here means “to liberate from”, and does not mean “to explain”. This explains why I have not adopted 解識 which being the alternative version.

馬致遠: 天淨沙: 秋思 Ma Zhiyuan: Tian Jing Sha: Autumn Thoughts"

2010-09-07T14:21:00.009+08:00

馬致遠 <天淨沙: 秋思>

Ma Zhiyuan (1260-1364) "Tian Jing Sha (Sky Pure/Cleansed Sand): Autumn Thoughts"

1 枯藤老樹昏鴉

2 小橋流水人家

3 古道西風瘦馬

4 夕陽西下

5 斷腸人在天涯

1 An old tree, dried vines entwined, by ev’ning crows come roosting;

2 O’er a small bridge, by a running stream, homes of people nestling.

3 On an old road, in the autumn wind, a scrawny horse keeps trudging;

4 The sun, slanting, to the west, setting ---

5 Heart-torn, lovelorn, the wanderer, to the verge of the sky a-roaming.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黄宏發

18^th August 2010 (revised 19.8.10; 20.8.10; 6.9.10)

Notes:

Dried (bald/bare) vines, old tree, evening crows (add: roosting)

Small bridge, running water (stream/rivulet), people (others) homes (add: nestling)

Old road, west (autumn/high) wind, scrawny horse (add: trudging)

Evening sun west sets (slanting/setting)

Guts-torn (heart-torn/love-lorn) man at sky’s (land’s) end (add: roaming/a-roaming)

As can also be seen from the above, although none of the verbs concerned is in the original, each and every is implied and is essential in translation whether into English or into modern day Chinese.

* Line 5: I have spelt out 人 “man” as the “wanderer”. I had considered “to/in the/a land at the sky’s end a-roaming”, but have decided for “to the verge of the sky a-roaming”. I have added “a- (meaning in the process of)” to “roaming” so as to amplify my interpretation that 在天涯 means 浪迹天涯 not just “at the verge of the sky”, but “to the verge of the sky a-roaming”.

李白: 清平調其二 Li Bai: 2nd of Three Verses to the Qing and Ping Tunes (for Lady Yang)

2010-08-02T18:55:00.003+08:00

Here is the second verse of Li Bai's Three Verses to the Qing and Ping Tunes I promised to post in my June post. I hope you do enjoy it.

李白: 清平調三首其二
Li Bai (701-762): 2nd of Three Verses to the Qing and Ping Tunes (for Lady Yang)

1 一枝紅艷露凝香
2 雲雨巫山枉斷腸
3 借問漢宮誰得似
4 可憐飛燕倚新妝

1 Ablush, abloom, oh peony, your fragrance, dewdrops retain!
2 That nymph of mists and mizzles, was a rendezvous dreamt in vain;
3 And who in the courts of old times, your beauty might match? I ask.
4 ‘Twas (pity!) the pretty Feiyan, while her new paint was yet to wane.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
23rd January 2010 (revised 25.1.10; 1.2.10; 4.2.10; 8.2.10; 9.2.10; 10.2.10; 7.4.10)

Notes:
* This English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet) while the original is in 7-character lines. The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original.
* Line 1: I have used “ablush” for 紅 and “abloom” for 艶, and have added “oh peony” to say what is ablush, abloom is a particular peony on a particular stem 枝, made to stand for the lady.. For 凝, I had considered “sustain” and “contain”, but have decided for “retain”.
* Line 2: This is the legend of the King of Chu 楚 who, in dream, rendezvoused with the beautiful nymph/oread/fairy/goddess 神女 of Wu-Shan 巫山. I have decided to translate 巫山 not as the mountain but as its deity. In this context, the mountain clearly stands for the deity who lives there, and for this 神女, I have decided to use “nymph” for its beauty and simplicity although “oread” (mountain nymph) might be more appropriate. And, instead of translating 斷腸 (meaning heartbreak, literally guts severing), I have put in the “dreamt rendezvous” to make plain the legend referred to.
* Line 3: I had considered “Han times” to translate 漢 but have decided for “old times”.
* Line 4: I have translated 倚新妝 (“relying/counting on her new/fresh paint/ make-up”) as “while her new paint was yet to wane”.

李白: 黃鶴樓送孟浩然 .Li Bai: At the Yellow Crane Tower to Bid Meng Haoran Bon Voyage to Guanglling

2010-07-02T15:04:00.006+08:00

This, in fact, is the first classical Chinese poem I attempted translating when I first began in earnest in March 2007 to pursue this ongoing hobby of translating classical Chinese poems into English. I was hesitant about what I wrote (please see my ultimate note) as I was still in search of an appropriate classical or quasi-classical form in English for the Chinese quatrain 绝句. This I soon found (grateful to 施颖洲's 中英對照讀唐詩宋詞 Tang and Song Poetry: Chinese-English 臺北:九歌 Taipei: Chiuko 2006 and, of course, to Edward FitzGerald's Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam 1859) in (1) adherence to the original rhyme scheme of AABA (or ABCB, if original), and (2) 4 lines of equal length counting beats or stresses or accents. I made a new attempt in December 2008 which is essentially the current version. I had forgotten I have yet to post it. But thanks to correspondence on this blog between Huy, Frank and myself in June 2010 (please see my January 2008 post, my first post) in which Huy asked for my version of the Yellow Crane Tower and, thinking he meant 李白 Li Bai's poem, I promised to post it in July 2010. It turned out he meant 崔灏 Cui Hao's and Frank understood him right. Anyhow, as promised, here is my rendition of Li Bai's Yellow Crane Tower (Cui Hao's which is an octet of 8 lines will have to wait):-

李白: 黄鶴樓送孟浩然之廣陵
Li Bai (701—762): At the Yellow Crane Tower to Bid Meng Haoran Bon Voyage to Guangling

1 故人西辭黃鶴樓
2 煙花三月下揚州
3 孤帆遠影碧山(空)盡
4 惟見長江天際流

1 At the Yellow Crane Tower, my friend, to the west you said goodbye;
2 In this misty, flowery glorious spring, downstream for Yangzhou you ply.
3 A speck, a silhouette, your solitary sail, toward the verdant hills receding, till
4 My eyes but descry the grand Long River, rolling to the verge of the sky.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黄宏發
19th December 2008 (revised 22.12.08; 23.12.08; 29.12.08; 19.2.09; 9.6.10; 10.6.10)

Notes:
* This English rendition is in heptameter (7 metrical feet) to emulate the original 7-character lines. The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original. This in fact is the first poem I attempted since picking up the hobby in March 2007. This first attempt, revised up to August 2007, was never published or posted and was abandoned as it is far too unorthodox. It is, however, reproduced below in the note on the abandoned translation to record my failure.
* Title: Yellow Crane Tower or Tower of the Yellow Crane is in present-day Wuhan in Hubei Province to the west of Guangling or Yangzhou . Meng Haoran, also a poet, was a friend of Li Bai’s. Guangling is present-day Yangzhou in Jiangsu Province, which was then also known as Yangzhou, hence, its appearance in the text in line 2.
* Line 1: I had used “bade goodbye”, but have now decided for “said goodbye”
* Line 2: 三月 is the third month on the lunar Chinese calendar which is mid-spring. I had considered “the mists and blossoms of March and April”, but have decided to use “this misty, flowery glorious spring” to translate 煙花三月. The word “ply” is used not in the sense of “to sail/go periodically, to and fro, between certain places” but “to direct/steer one’s course for a certain destination” and should be used with “for”. In plain English, the line reads “…, you ply for Yangzhou downstream”.
* Line 3: I have adopted the 碧山 (verdant hills) version instead of the 碧空 (heavens azure or blue void) version. I had considered “fading/waning into the verdant hills” and “to/toward/towards the verdant hills recedes/you recede”, but have decided for “toward the verdant hills recedeing”.
* Line 4: I had considered “I”, but have decided for “My eyes”. I had considered “see/spy/espy”, but have decided for “descry”. For 長江 I had used “long, Long River”, but have decided for “grand Long River”. For 際 I had considered “fringe/end/margin”, but have decided for “verge”.
* The following is the abandoned translation of March 2007 revised up to August 2007 which is now further polished (in June 2010) so as to afford a comparison on a fairer basis :-
1 故人 Alas! My friend, for years my best,
西辭 You bade farewell to your native west,
黃鶴樓 At the Yellow Crane Tower we parted.
2 煙花 Willows misting, flowers in splendour,
三月 ‘Tis the third month, the lunar calendar,
下揚州 Downstream for Yangzhou, oh, you departed.
3 孤帆 That solitary sail for you they set,
遠影 By now is but a distant silhouette,
碧山(空)盡 Fading into the hills and heavens azure.
4 惟見 Now the only sight remaining clear,
長江 A vista of a River long and drear,
天際流 Rolling skywards to the horizon obscure.
Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
29th March 2007 (revised 4.4.2007; 10.4.2007; 26.4.2007; 10.5.2007; 14.5.2007; 27.5.2007; 17.7.2007; 18.7.2007; 23.7.2007; 30.7.2007; 14.8.07; polished 9.6.10; 11.6.10)

李白: 清平調其一 Li Bai; 1st of Three Verses to the Qing and Ping Tunes (for Lady Yang)

2010-06-01T15:29:00.004+08:00

This is done earlier this year. I do hope you like it. The other two will soon follow.

李白: 清平調三首其一
Li Bai (701-762): 1st of Three Verses to the Qing and Ping Tunes (for Lady Yang)

1 雲想衣裳花想容
2 春風拂檻露華濃
3 若非羣玉山頭見
4 會向瑶臺月下逢

1 In clouds, I think of her raiment, in flowers, see her face,
2 Blooming, beaming by the railing, in Zephyr’s dewy embrace.
3 ‘Tis only on Hills of Emerald, might such a beauty be seen, else
4 By moonlight at Jasper Terrace, be blest to encounter her grace.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者:黃宏發
15th January 2010 (revised 18.1.10; 20.1.10; 21.1.10; 9.2.10; 26.2.10)

Notes:
* This English is in hexameter (6 metrical feet) while the original is in 7-character lines. The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original.
* Title: The three verses were written by Li Bai impromptu upon being summoned to the palace garden where Emperor Xuanzong and his favourite concubine Lady Yang were admiring peony flowers in full bloom, hence, I have added (for Lady Yang).
* Line 1: I had considered and rejected “we/you think” (everyone, the Emperor included) for being too general and “one thinks” for being too impersonal, and have decided for “I think” (which can stand for either the poet or the Emperor). I had used “your raiment … your face” here, and “your grace” in line 4, but have decided for “her raiment … her face” and “her grace”.
* Line 2: To translate 春風 (spring wind), I have used “Zephyr” (the god of the west wind, being spring wind in Europe) to pave the way for the mythical references in lines 3 and 4. I have used “railing” to translate 檻 and rejected other interpretations such as “casement” or “window sill”. To translate 拂 (“stroke” or “caress”), I have used “embrace” for the rhyme, and have taken the liberty to change the object of the “embrace/stroke/caress” from the more literal railings to the more poetic flowers and beautiful lady.
* Lines 3 and 4: As explained in the note above, the proper names of 羣玉山 “Hills of Emerald” (line 3) and 瑶臺 “Jasper Terrace” (line 4) exist only in myths; here, the mythology of 西王母 Fairy Queen Mother of the Western Sky. I have added “beauty” (line 3) and “grace” (line 4) to make plain that lines 3 and 4 refer to the beautiful lady (who can only be from heaven/fairyland).
* Line 4: I have added “be blest” to convey a sense of good fortune and to complete the meter. I had used “meet/behold”, but have now decided for “encounter”.

岳飛: 滿江紅 Yue Fei: Man Jiang Hong (The River All Red

2010-05-03T16:20:00.004+08:00

The following is my rendition of Yue Fei's "Man Jiang Hong" (The River All Red)), the first time I post on my blog a 詞 (ci, i.e. lyrics to a tune) or, more descriptively, 長短句 (long and short lines). Hope you enjoy it.

岳飛: 寄調滿江紅
Yue Fei (1103-1141): To the Tune of “Man Jiang Hong” (The River All Red)

1 怒髮衝冠
2 憑闌處
3 瀟瀟雨歇
4 抬望眼
5 仰天長嘯
6 壯懷激烈
7 三十功名塵與土
8 八千里路雲和月
9 莫等閒
10 白了少年頭
11 空悲切

12 靖康恥
13 猶未雪
14 臣子恨
15 何時滅
16 駕長車
17 踏破賀蘭山缺
18 壯志饑餐胡虜肉
19 笑談渴飲匈奴血
20 待從頭
21 收拾舊山河
22 朝天阙

1 By the railing I stand,
2 Showers have stopped,
3 I bristle with wrath, my hair uncaging.
4 My eyes towards the sky,
5 To arms! Long I cry,
6 To war, for a heavenly cause! I’m raging.
7 My decade of deeds, as dust I deem, short of the final victory,
8 O’er thousands of miles, day or night, been in battle engaging.
9 So take it to heart, get set!
10 Lest, in vain, we’ll regret,
11 Turned grey, our youthful heads, on aging.

12 Held captive still, our sovereigns,
13 Unavenged, this burning shame!
14 When? Why! Now is the hour!
15 To burn out our vengeful flame.
16 Oh, charge! You columns of chariots!
17 Crash that gap at Helan-Shan! Crush it in heaven’s name!
18 In hunger, we eat their body, in thirst, we drink their blood!
19 We’ll so boast of our bravery, as if them tartars were game.
20 All over again, in rally we stand:
21 Our homeland of old, to recapture,
22 Our emperor, “All hail!” to acclaim.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
11th September 2009 (revised 13.9.09; 15.9.09; 17.9.09: 18.9.09; 23.9.09; 24.9.09; 15.10.09; 16.10.09; 19.10.09; 4.11.09; 16.12.09; 9.3.10)

Notes:
* The original poem is in 2 stanzas of 11 lines each, with one common rhyme at lines 3, 6, 8, 11, then 13, 15, 17, 19, 22. I have taken this to mean that there are 9 sentences in the poem with 4 in the first stanza and 5 in the second. I have been unable to find a common rhyme for my English rendition and have decided to use an “-aging” rhyme in stanza 1 and an “-ame/aim” rhyme in stanza 2. I have also been unable to translate the lines correspondingly, and have changed the order where necessary but only within the respective sentences.
* Lines 1, 2 and 3 (being one sentence): Line 3 translates the original line 1, lines 1 and 2 are lines 2 and 3 in the original. In line 3, I have omitted translating 冠 “hat/helmet/headgear” and have simply rendered it as “my hair uncaging”.
* Lines 4, 5 and 6 (being one sentence): I have moved 仰天 “towards the sky” from the original line 5 to merge with 抬望眼 “raise my eyes to” in line 4 as “My eyes towards the sky”. I have added “To arms” in line 5 and “To war” in line 6 as the contents of the “long cry” 長嘯 to explain the making of this war poem. I had originally translated line 6 loosely as “’Tis a war for a heavenly cause we are waging”, but have now decided for “To war, for a heavenly cause! I am raging”. In either case, I have omitted translating 懷 “bosom/chest” or “heart/mind” which is implied in “for a heavenly cause”.
* Line 7: I have taken 三十 to mean “thirty odd years of age”, the poet must have been in the army for some 10 years, hence, “decade”. I have added “short of the final victory” to explain why the poet deemed his “deeds/feats/victories” as “dust/trifles”.
* Line 8: I have used “thousands of miles” to translate 八千里 “8,000 li” being only 2,400 miles. I have added “been in battle engaging” to make plain that the poet was in the army and at war.
* Lines 9, 10 and 11 (being one sentence): In line 9, I have taken 莫等閒 to mean 莫等閒視之 “don’t take it lightly” or “take it seriously”, hence, “take it to heart”. Line 11 translates the original line 10, and line 10, the original line 11.
* Lines 12 and 13 (being one sentence): “Held captive still, our sovereigns” in line 12 is not a literal translation of 靖康 “Jing Kang” which is the name of a period, but explains the history of the end of the North Song 北宋 dynasty with the
emperor 欽宗 Qin Zong and his father, the abdicated 徽宗 Hui Zong, both captured in the 2nd year of Jing Kang, hence, “sovereigns (in plural)” I have moved 恥 “shame” from the original line 12 to line13 and 猶 “still” from the original line 13 to line 12.
* Lines 14 and 15 (being one sentence): I have scrambled these 2 lines. The original line 15 何時滅 is taken to be a rhetorical question and translated as “When? why now is the hour!” in line 14 and “To burn out” in line 15. The original line 14 臣子恨 is translated as “our (臣generals’ and officials’, 子 soldiers’ and subjects’) vengeful flame” in line 15.
* Lines 12 to 22 (the second stanza): I am grateful to Xu Yuan-zhong for his “burning shame(line 13) and vengeful flame(line 15)” rhyme in his rendition of the same poem, pp. 470-473, “Bilingual Edition of 300 Song Lyrics”, Beijing, Higher Education Press, 2004 which has encouraged me to follow the rhyme through the entire second stanza, thus “name(17)-game(19)-acclaim(22)”.
* Line 17: I have added “in heaven’s name” to continue the “-ame/aim” rhyme and to further justify the war.
* Lines 18 and 19 (being one sentence): I have scrambled the 2 lines. First, I have put “hunger, eat, body” (line 18) and “thirst, drink, blood” (line 19) both into line 18. Second, I have scrambled 胡虜 “the Hu people” (line 18) and 匈奴 “the Hun people” (line 19)---虜 and 奴 being derogatory words for people---into line 19 as simply “them tartars”, with the word “them” signifying enmity (us and them) and the word “tartars” in lower case to convey the derogatory sense. Third, I have merged 壯志 (line 18) and 笑談 (line 19) into line 19 as “boast of our bravery”. I have chosen “boast” (I have rejected “brag”) to translate 笑談 and added “as if … were game” 獵物 to make clear my interpretation that the poet’s soldiers, though full of hatred (see “them tartars”), may not really be cannibals.
* Line 20: I take 待 to mean “ready/set/about to”, not “wait”, and 從頭 to mean “again/afresh”, not “begin/to or from the beginning”, hence, “All over again, in rally we stand”.
* Line 21: 收拾 is taken to mean “recapture/recover/restore/re-claim”, not “tidy up/reclaim”. I have translated 舊山河 as “homeland of old”
* Line 22: 朝天阙 “towards the heavenly (imperial palace) gate” is rendered in very concrete terms originally as “Long live the emperor! to acclaim”, now as “Our emperor, ‘All hail!’ to acclaim”.

杜牧: 清明 Du Mu: Qingming, the Fifth of April

2010-04-01T15:00:00.002+08:00

It is again early April, a season of mizzles and gloom. This must be the right time to post my rendition of Du Mu's quatrain "Qingming". Here we go.

杜牧: 清明
Du Mu (803-852): Qingming, the Fifth of April

1 清明時節雨紛纷
2 路上行人欲斷魂
3 借問酒家何處有
4 牧童遙指杏花村

1 Qingming, the Fifth of April, a season of mizzles and gloom,
2 Away from home, a wayfarer, faring into gloom and doom.
3 Oh, where can be found a tavern, my good lad, if I may ask?
4 There, points the herd-boy, to a village where apricots bloom.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
16th December 2009 (revised 17.12.09; 18.12.09; 21.12.09; 22.12.09; 4.1.10; 5.1.10; 6.1.10; 7.1.10; 8.1.10)

Notes:
* This English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet) while the original is in 7-character lines. The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original.
* Title and line 1: “Qingming” 清明 is a Chinese festival (for family reunion and visiting ancestral graves) which falls on the 5th (occasionally 6th) of April. I have, therefore, included “the Fifth of April” in both the title and line 1. I had considered dropping “Qingming” altogether from line 1, e.g. “’Tis again the Fifth of April” or “’Tis again early April”, but have decided otherwise.
* Lines 1 and 2: The word “season” 時節 in line 1 refers to a period of time around the festival day, e.g. Christmas season, and does not mean one of the four seasons.
In line 1, I have added the word “gloom” obviously for the rhyme, but can also be justified as giving notice to and reinforcing “gloom and doom” in line 2 which translates 斷魂 (dispirited). I had used “I’m soaked/steeped in” and “I’m, alas, in” to translate 欲 (which means “on the verge of” or “about to”, and not “wish/desire/want”), but have decided for just “faring into” without “I’m”..
* Line 3: I had used “Oh, where can be found (can I find) a tavern, my despondent (dampened) spirits to lift?”, “Where, oh, where, I wonder, can a tavern somehow be found?”, and “Where, oh, where, I wonder, can a tavern be found? I ask.”, but have now decided for “Oh, where can be found a tavern, my good lad, if I may ask?” with “if I may ask” to translate 借問 and “good lad” added to pave the way for the herd-boy in line 4.
* Line 4: I had considered “Thither” and “Yonder” but have decided for “There” which, though not closest to 遙 (far), suffices and which rhymes with “where” in line 3 (perhaps also line 4). I had considered “says”, but have decided to use the literal “points” to translate 指.

贾島: 尋隐者不遇 Jia Dao: Visiting the Absent Hermit

2010-03-01T17:17:00.005+08:00

The following translation (of a poem which I very much love) was done some 2 years ago and is now posted for the first time. I hope my English rendition is equally lovable.

賈島: 尋隱者不遇
Jia Dao (779—842): Visiting the Absent Hermit

1 松下問童子
2 言師採藥去
3 只在此山中
4 雲深不知處

1 Beneath the pine-trees, I ask of a lad I see.
2 Away is the master gathering herbs, says he,
3 Up in this mountain, but where? I cannot tell,
4 For there the clouds are deep and dense as be.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
17 March 2008 (revised 19.3.08; 7.7.08; 17.7.08; 19.7.08; 21.11.08; 25.11.08; 26.11.08)

Notes:-
* This English rendition is in pentameter (5 metrical feet) to emulate the original 5-character lines. The rhyme scheme in the Chinese original is ABCB. My rendition changes it to the more demanding AABA.
* Line 1: I have chosen “a lad” instead of “the lad” as the Chinese original merely says 童子(boy) which I take to mean a boy the poet happens to see there who, on reply, turns out to be the pupil/apprentice.
* Line 2: I have chosen “the master” instead of “my master”.
* Lines 3 and 4: I have moved the “know not” or “cannot tell” idea from line 4 of the original to line 3 in this English rendition.

白居易: 夜雪 Bai Juyi: Night in Snow

2010-02-08T15:04:00.002+08:00

It is snowing so heavy in Washington D.C. which I am due to visit on the 10th, that I have decided to post this little poem by Bai Juyi (or Po Chu-I). It was translated last July/August. I hope you like it.

白居易: 夜雪
Bai Juyi (772-846): Night in Snow

1 已訝衾枕冷
2 復見窗户明
3 夜深知雪重
4 時聞折竹聲

1 Surprised to find, oh, so cold, my quilt and pillow,
2 Then light I see through the papered casement window.
3 Deep in the night, so heavy’s the snow, I know, when
4 Bamboos go crack ~ a sound, now ‘n’ then, I follow.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
22nd July 2009 (revised 23.7.09; 24.7.09; 3.8.09; 4.8.09; 5.8.09)

Notes:
* This English rendition is in pentameter (5 metrical feet) to emulate the original 5-character lines. The rhyme scheme is AABA as I take the original to be. The “pillow, window, follow” rhyme is unstressed (feminine). The internal rhyme of “snow, know” in line 3 is stressed (masculine).
* Line 2: The word 復 here means “then”, not “again”. The word 户 “door” is omitted in the translation as it refers to the Chinese “casement door” which is also a window. The word “papered” is added to make clear it is not a glass casement window/door which did not yet exist.
* Line 4: For the sound of bamboos breaking, I had considered “snap” and “clack”, but have decided for “crack”. For the word 時, I had considered “e’er ‘n’ anon” and “then ‘n’ again”, but have decided for “now ‘n’ then”
`

王维: 雜詩 Wang Wei: A Poem in a Miscellany

2010-01-05T16:38:00.003+08:00

Here is my latest translation. I have chosen January which is when winter-sweet or plum or mume flowers are blooming.

王維: 雜詩
Wang Wei (701-761): A Poem in a Miscellany

1 君自故鄉來
2 應知故鄉事
3 來日绮窗前
4 寒梅著花未

1 Sir, from our hometown, you’ve just arrived,
2 Of things at home, I should think you know.
3 That day you left: by my latticed window, were
4 The winter-sweet flowers, beginning to blow?

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黄宏發
21st December 2009 (revised 22.12.09; 23.12.09)

Notes:
• This English rendition is in tetrameter (4 metrical feet) while the original is in 5-character lines. The rhyme scheme is ABCB as in the original.
• Lines 1and 2: Instead of “my”, I have used “our” in line 1 to make clear that the visitor is a native of the same hometown, thus, familiar with “things at home” in line 2. I have inverted the order of the 2 phrases in line 2 and, to end it, I had considered the literal translation of 應知 as “you ought to/should know” on the one hand and the implied meaning of “I would/should love to know” on the other, but have decided for the polite conversational rendition of “I should think you know” (not “I think you should know”).
• Line 3: I have decided to use “latticed window”, as a “brocade/brocaded/silken window” makes no sense and any window with paper/silk/brocade mounted must first be latticed.
• Line 4: I have used “winter-sweet” 蠟/臘梅 to translate 寒梅 “winter plum”. Although 蠟/臘梅 (chimonanthus praecox) and 梅 (the Chinese/Japanese plum, prunus mume) are different plants, they have a lot in common. Both are native to China, both have fragrant flowers, and both blossom in winter. I have chosen to follow a Chinese folksong entitled” 踏雪尋梅” which runs 雪霽天晴朗 (Snow has stopped, the sky is clear) 臘梅處處香 (The winter-sweet’s fragrance is everywhere) … and which makes explicit, at least in this case, that 梅 (literally Chinese plum or mume) in the title refers to 蠟/臘梅 (winter-sweet).

白居易: 問劉十九 Bai Juyi: At Home to Mr. Liu Shijiu

2009-12-01T17:43:00.003+08:00

It must be beginning to snow in many parts of the northern hemisphere. I am posting this little poem of the joys of winter. Just think of mulled wine! Any plonk will do, no blanc though! Even plonk noveau!

白居易: 問劉十九
Bai Juyi (772-846): At Home to Mr. Liu Shijiu

1 綠螘新醅酒
2 紅泥小火爐
3 晚來天欲雪
4 能飲一杯無

1 At home -- an ebony, foamy new wine,
2 On a little red-clay fire stove warming.
3 Care for a cup of the good stuff? I say,
4 Ah snow, in the evening sky, is forming.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
20th July 2009 (revised 21.7.09; 2.8.09; 1.12.09)

Notes:
* This English rendition is in tetrameter (4 metrical feet) while the original is in 5-character lines. The rhyme scheme is ABCB as in the original.
* Title and line 1: I take the “wine” to be at the poet’s home. The word問 in the title means “asking/inviting”, hence, “At Home” which is an invitation for drinks (and tit bits) at home. “At home” is also added to line 1 to indicate in the poem itself where the “wine” is.
* Line 1: The “new wine” 新醅酒 is a newly fermented, unstrained, unfiltered rice wine, often dark in colour, with foams floating on top. The character 螘 is both the ancient character for 蟻 meaning ants, and the foams on the “new wine” had been referred to in classical Chinese as 浮螘(蟻) floating ants or 浮蛆 floating maggots, neither very palatable if not disgusting. I have therefore decided to simply describe it as “foamy”. The very first character of the poem 綠 which means green cannot be green as green ants, as far as I know, do not exist. It must mean black or dark as in 綠髮 (green hair) and 青絲 (green silk) both refer to “black hair” in Chinese poetry, hence, I have decided for “ ebony”. In one insists on green for 綠 in contrast to red for 紅 in line 2, I had considered but rejected “a greenish” which, together with “new wine”, produces a beautiful yet wrong image of a “vino verde” which in the West, is drunk chilled.
* Line 2: I have added the “warming” which is implicit in the original.
* Lines 3 and 4: I have reversed the order of the 2 lines for the rhyme. I had changed line 3 (line 4 of the original) from a question to an exhortation, viz. “Do come for a cup of the good stuff, I pray,” but have decided to be more faithful, hence, the present line.

王維: 九月九日憶山東兄弟 Wang Wei: Thinking of My Brothers...on the 9th Day of the 9th Moon 王維: 九月九日憶山東兄弟

2009-11-02T12:10:00.002+08:00

This year, the Chongyang 重陽 festival (the 9th day of the 9th moon) fell on last Monday, 26 October 2009. I am posting my translation of this very famous poem by Wang Wei to celebrate the festival:-

王維: 九月九日憶山東兄弟
Wang Wei (701-761): Thinking of My Brothers East of the Mountains on the Ninth Day of the Ninth Moon

1 獨在異鄉為異客
2 每逢佳節倍思親
3 遙知兄弟登高處
4 遍插茱萸少一人

1 All alone in a strange land, a lonely stranger am I;
2 Thoughts of my kindred redouble on every festive day.
3 From afar I know, o brothers, where in the hills we’d be,
4 Each wearing a spray of dogwood, all but the one away.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
11th May 2009 (revised 12.5.09; 13.5.09; 21.5.09; 2.11.09)

Notes:
* This English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet) while the original is in 7-character lines. The rhyme scheme is ABCB as in the original.
* Title and lines 3 and 4: 山東 here refers generally to the land east of 華山 Huashan, being where Wang Wei’s ancestral home was (in present day 山西 Shanxi, not 山東 Shandong province). The ninth day of the ninth moon (lunar month) is the Chinese festival of Chongyang 重陽 or Chongjiu重九 (Double Ninth) when traditionally the whole family would go up to the hills to celebrate, wearing in the hair a spray of dogwood or around the arm a pouch of the same, and imbibing ale or wine scented with chrysanthemum. A “spray” is a twig or sprig with leaves and all, which in this case are the fruits (dogberries) that ripen in autumn.
* Line 1: The word “land” should be read unstressed.
* Line 2: I had considered “kin”, “kinsmen”, “kinsfolk”, “kinfolk”, “brethren” and “brothers”, but have now decided for “kindred”. I had originally used the word “come” which should be read unstressed, but have now decided for “on”.
* Line 3: I have decided to use “where in the hills we’d be” instead of ‘you’d be” or “they’d be” in order to heighten the poet’s longing to be with his brothers.
* Line 4: I had used “decked with a spray” but have now decided for “wearing a spray” as explained in the general note. The word “Each” should be read unstressed.

王翰: 涼州詞 Wang Han: Song of Liangzhou (The Battlefront)

2009-10-05T15:55:00.006+08:00

Azurino wrote the following lines on 4 August in his comments on my August 2009 post (Peach Blossoms at the Dalin Temple by Bai Juyi):

王翰《涼州曲》
1 Grapewine I would like to taste,
2 have to go yet I would crave.
3 Thou dost not tease drunk soldiers of all,
4 Long ago few come back from war.

Encouraged by Azurino's attempt, I promised I would give this Wang Han 王翰 poem a try. Here is my rendition:-

王翰: 涼州詞
Wang Han: Song of Liangzhou (The Battlefront)

1 葡萄美酒夜光杯
2 欲飲琵琶馬上催
3 醉卧沙場君莫笑
4 古來征戰幾人回

1 A grape-wine so fine, a cup that gleams at night,
2 To drink on I’d love, but for the summons to fight.
3 Sneer not, oh, jeer not, if in battle, drunken, I lie,
4 How many, we soldiers, ever came home all right?

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
21 September 2009 (revised 22.9.09; 23.9.09; 24.9.09)

Notes:
* This English rendition is in pentameter (5 metrical feet) while the original is in 7-character lines. The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original.
* Line 2: I have interpreted 欲飲 to mean “wish to continue to drink” which make better sense than “wish to begin to drink”, hence, “To drink on I’d love”. I have omitted translating 琵琶 “pipa” (being a musical instrument somewhat like a lute) and 馬上 “mounted on horseback” (being how the “pipa” was played in the Chinese western frontier to serve as a bugle call to summon the soldiers). The meaning of “cannot drink (on) because of the (urging and urgent) summons” is fully covered by translating 催 as “but for the summons to fight”.
* Line 3: I have translated 沙場 “battleground/field” as simply “in battle”
* Line 4: I have translated 征戰 “going to war/battle” as simply “we soldiers”. I have added “all right” to add the very reasonable meaning of “safe and sound” and, obviously, to complete the rhyme.

李白: 望廬山瀑布 Li Bai: View of a Waterfall at Lushan

2009-09-02T14:50:00.013+08:00

POSTSCRIPT 16.6.2011, REVISIONS CONSOLIDATED: I had as early as 3.9.2011 revised "like a drape that glitters" in line 2 to "like a shimmering curtain". This is now reflected below. I also take this opportunity to effect some touching up: deleting the comma between "afar" and "like" and hyphenating "up" and "stream" (line 2), replacing "Flowing" by "Rolling" (line 3), and deleting "the" and capitalizing "Heaven Supreme" (line 4). The notes in the ORIGINAL POST are accordingly revised up to today. The revised rendition is as follows:-

Li Bai (701-762): View of a Waterfall at Mount Lushan

1 Sunlit, the Incense Summit, aglow in smoke and steam;
2 To afar like a shimmering curtain, a waterfall hangs up-stream:
3 Rolling, flying, fluttering ~ plunging three thousand feet,
4 As if ‘twere the Silver River, falling from Heaven Supreme.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
5th August 2009 (revised 6.8.09: 7.8.09; 2.9.09; 3.9.09; 11.8.10; 16.6.11)

ORIGINAL POST 2.9.2009: IN MY ORIGINAL POST, I SAID:-

Here is my latest translation. Please let your friends know if you enjoy it.

李白: 望廬山瀑布
Li Bai (701-762): View of a Waterfall at Mount Lushan

1 日照香爐生紫煙
2 遙看瀑布掛前川
3 飛流直下三千尺
4 疑是銀河落九天

1 Sunlit is the Incense Summit, aglow in smoke and steam;
2 To afar, like a drape that glitters, a waterfall hangs upstream:
3 Flowing, flying, fluttering ~ plunging three thousand feet,
4 As if ‘twere the Silver River, falling from the heaven supreme.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
5th August 2009 (revised 6.8.09: 7.8.09; 2.9.09)

Notes: (revised up to 16.6.11)
* This English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet) while the original is in 7-character lines. The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original.
* Line 1: I have added the word “Summit” to translate 香爐 “incense burner” as the poem clearly refers to a mountain “peak/summit” and not an “incense burner”. I could have used “censer” or “thurible” to qualify the “peak/summit”, but have decided against them as they yield the image of an “incense burner" being carried and not stationary, hence, “Incense Summit” omitting “Burner”. I have also omitted translating 生 “generating” which can be taken to be implied in “aglow” which latter subtly suggests 紫 “purplish” or “reddish”.
* Line 2: I have added the simile “a drape that glitters” which, though not literally in the original, is in fact most subtly suggested in the word 布 “cloth” in 瀑布 “waterfall” or “cataract”, followed by 掛 “hangs”, which produces a vivid picture of “a piece of cloth hanging”, hence, “a drape … hangs”. What I have added is only the “white” colour, and I have decided for “that glitters” instead of “of hoar-silk” or “of white silk”. I had originally considered “curtain”, e.g. “hoar-silk curtain”, but have decided for “drape”. However, after posting it, I at once relented and revised it to "like a shimmering curtain" for sounding so much better.
* Line 3: I had considered (1) “Flowing, flushing, flying” for its “f” alliteration, (2) the rhyming “Flushing, rushing, gushing”, and (3) “Flowing, rolling, flying”, but decided for “Flowing, flying, fluttering”. I now consider "Rolling, flying, fluttering" (in that order) the best combination as "rolling" which means "flowing faster and in a larger volume" is a better word than "flowing" to translate 飛流 and as 3 "f's" in a row tends to be boring
* Line 4: I have translated 銀河 “Milky Way” literally as “Silver River”. As 九天 the “Ninth Heaven”, like the “Seventh Heaven” or “Seventh of Heavens” in the West, is the highest level of the heavens, I have abandoned both “nine” and “seven” and embraced “Heaven Supreme” which also completes the "-eam" rhyme. I had originally penned “As if the Silver River, were falling …”, but have now decided for “As if ‘twere the Silver River, falling …”.

白居易: 大林寺桃花 Bai Juyi: Peach Blossoms at the Dalin Temple

2009-08-03T11:10:00.009+08:00

POSTSCRIPT 6.6.2011, LATEST REVISION: My English rendition of this Bai Juyi poem was first posted here in August 2009. It was revised and posted on my other blog (link at top right corner) on 20.5.2011. It is now further revised as follows (notes revised according in the original post):-

Bai Juyi (772-846): Peach Blossoms at the Dalin Temple

1 In men’s realm, after April, blossoms have all but spent;
2 At this a mountain temple, ‘tis time for the peach to blow.
3 Ever complaining spring, once gone, could nowhere be found,
4 Never did know into here it had turned, unhurried to go.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
27th July 2009 (revised 29.7.09; 30.7.09; 31.7.09; 1.8.09; 3.8.09; 10.5.11; 6.6.11)

ORIGINAL POST 3.8.2009: Below is my latest translation. It is a poem by Bai Juyi or Po Chu-I. Hope you will enjoy it.

白居易: 大林寺桃花
Bai Juyi (772-846): Peach Blossoms at the Dalin Temple

1 人間四月芳菲盡
2 山寺桃花始盛開
3 長恨春歸無覓處
4 不知轉入此中來

1 In the plains past April, peach blossoms have all but gone;
2 In the hills at the temple, ‘tis the time for the peach to blow.
3 Ever plaintful: spring once spent, was nowhere to be found;
4 Never did know: to the hills it’d turned, and reluctant to go.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
27th July 2009 (revised 29.7.09; 30.7.09; 31.7.09; 1.8.09; 3.8.09) (further revised 6.6.2011, see above)

Notes (revised up to 6.6.2011):
* This English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet) while the original is in 7-character lines. The rhyme scheme is ABCB (or XAXA) as in the original.
* Line 1: I had considered “world”, decided for “plains” to contrast with “hills” in line 2, but have now decided to revise it to the literal "men's realm". As the “fourth month” on the Chinese lunar calendar approximates May, I had used “past April” now "after April" to translate 四月. I had used "gone" but have now revised it to "spent".

* Line 2: "In the hills at the temple" is now amended to read "At this a mountain temple", and "'tis the time", to "'tis time"
* Line 3: Unlike the poet’s most famous poem 長恨歌 “Ode/Song of Everlasting Regret/Sorrow”, 長 here means 常 “always/ever” and 恨 here means 怨 “complain”. I had originally used “Ever plaintful: spring once spent"", but have now decided for “Ever complaining: spring once gone”.
* Line 4: I had used “Never knowing” to parallel “Ever complaining” in line 3, but have now decided for “Never did know” which subtly suggests “Now I know”. This is precisely what the whole poem is about (Line 1: blossoms gone/spent in the plains; Line 2: peach blossoms blow in the hills at the temple; Line 3: always thought, spring once spent/gone, cannot be found; Line 4: now I know spring is in the hills). I had originally used "to the hills" to translate 此中 but have now decided for the literal “into here”. I have added “and reluctant to go”, now "unhurried to go" to end this last line of the poem both to complete the rhyme and to say “the poet does not wish spring to go” by saying “spring does not wish to go”.

劉禹錫: 烏衣巷 Liu Yuxi: Lane of Black-Gown Mansions

2009-07-02T17:50:00.002+08:00

What follows is my latest translation in which I can be accused of trying to "naturalized" Chinese poetry into English by the omision of 2 Chinese surnames (Wang and Xie) and the addition of 2 English surnames (Jones and Smith). Grateful for your comments.

劉禹鍚: 烏衣巷
Liu Yuxi (772-842): Lane of Black-Gown Mansions

1 朱雀橋邊野草花
2 烏衣巷口夕陽斜
3 舊時王謝堂前燕
4 飛入尋常百姓家

1 By the Bridge of the Heavenly Red-Bird, rank weeds over grow;
2 At the Lane of Black-Gown Mansions, the dying sun sinks low.
3 ‘Neath the eaves of the high and mighty, swallows used to nest, but
4 Now, to homes of the commoners, of the Joneses and Smiths they go.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黄宏發
29th June 2009 (revised 30.6.09; 1.7.09)

Notes:
* This English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet) while the original is in 7-character lines. The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original.
* Title and lines 2 and 3: 烏衣巷 literally Black Gown Lane was, in the Eastern Jin Dynasty (317-420), a lane in the capital Jiankang 建康 (present day Nanjing) to the south the River Qinhuai 秦淮, exclusive to the rich and powerful including Wang 王(導)and Xie 謝(安) families (the two surnames versified in line 3) whose members wore black gowns, hence, that name; and to make that name readily understandable in English, I have added the word “Mansions” to “the Lane of the Black-Gown” in the title and line 2 and omitted Wang and Xie in line 3.
* Line 1: 朱雀 (red bird) is a Chinese geomancy (fengshui 風水) position which is to the front (South) of the centre, with 玄武 (black tortoise-snake) to the back (North), 青龍 (blue dragon) to the left (East) and 白虎 (white tiger) to the right (West), all being references to cluster of stars. I have, therefore, translated it not by the names of birds as either “rose-finch” or “red-finch” but simply “Bridge of the Red-Bird” which bridge leads to the nearby “Lane of Black-Gown Mansions”. The Bridge, then a pontoon or floating bridge, was named after a Gate of the same name 朱雀門 on which must have exhibited some sign, statue or, at least, an inscription signifying its noble heavenly status, hence, I have included the word “Heavenly” before “Red-Bird”. I am grateful to Xu Yuan-zhong 許淵沖 for the word “rank” to translate 野 (p.283 of his, et alias (eds.), “300 Tang Poems -- A New Translation”) which sounds much better than “wild” or “unwieldy”. Like him, I have omitted 花 “flowers” in my translation as such an inclusion would, in English, paint a beautiful and not a picture of decay.
* Lines 3 and 4: I have used “the high and mighty” to translate 王謝 Wang and Xie (see note on Title) as these two surnames make no sense in English to one who does not know the allusion.. I take the 2 lines to mean swallows nesting, and not flying/skimming/skipping/dipping. I have, therefore, used the more habitually correct “’Neath the eaves” instead of the more literal “In the forecourts” in line 3 and “go” instead of “fly into” in line 4. Emboldened by my dropping the two Chinese surnames in line 3, I have decided to add two English surnames (Jones and Smith) to translate 百姓, meaning “the people”, literally “hundred surnames” in line 4. Incidentally, the “Smiths” top the rank, with the “Joneses” coming second, in the “Top 100 English Surnames” in www.genealogy.about.com. I have decided against using the 2 top Chinese surnames of 陳李 “Chan’s and Lee’s” (Cantonese pronunciation) or “Chen’s and Li’s” (Putonghua) according to one version of the 百家姓 “Top 100 Chinese Surnames” and of 趙錢 “Chiu’s and Tsin’s” (Cantonese) or “Zhao’s and Qian’s” (Putonghua) according to another for the same reason I have dropped 王謝 “Wang and Xie”. If one still insist to have the line to sound more exotic/oriental, the line can read: “Now, to homes of the commoners, of the Parks (a Korean surname) and Singhs (an Indian surname) they go”.

杜牧: 泊秦淮 Du Mu: Moored on River Qinhuai

2009-06-08T16:46:00.004+08:00

I have been to Nanjing twice recently, both in May, and visited River Qinhuai where I imbibed no wine but tea. A little secret, the Nanjing local tea called Yuhua 雨花 (Rain Flower) is truly super. You must try it when you go there next. Let me now offer you my latest translation:-

杜牧: 泊秦淮
Du Mu (803-852): Moored on River Qinhuai

1 煙籠寒水月籠沙
2 夜泊秦淮近酒家
3 商女不知亡國恨
4 隔江猶唱後庭花

1 Mist-clad, the coldish water! Moon-filled, the riverside sand!
2 I moor for the night on the Qinhuai, where wining houses stand.
3 O simple song-girls know not, the shame of a kingdom demised,
4 Still sing from o’er the river, that song by the merry king’s hand.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
2nd June 2009 (revised 3.6.09; 4.6.09; 5.6.09; 6.6.09; 8.6.09)

Notes:
* This English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet) while the original is in 7-character lines. The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original.
* Title and lines 1, 2 and 4: “Qinhuai” 秦淮 is a river in present day Nanjing 南京, an ancient capital. I have added the word “River” in the title and the word “riverside” in line 1 to make clear that 秦淮 “Qinhuai” in the title and “the Qinhuai” in line 2 is a river.
* Line 2: I had considered “wining halls at hand” and “wine-halls close at hand”, but have decided against them as “at hand” suggests an inclination to frequent the wine halls which is not suggested by the poem as a whole. I have used the very neutral formulation of “moor...on…where…stand” in order to capture a “not far from” meaning of 近; however, if the literal word of “near” is preferred, an alternative would be “near the wine-hall strand” which does not sound as good.
* Lines 3 and 4: I have used “kingdom demised” in line 3 rather than “nation”, “country” or “land” to pave the way to my translating the song/tune referred to in line 4 not by its title but by its author. 後庭花 (literally: Rear= Inner Yard Flowers), abbreviated from 玉樹 etc. (literally: Jade=Graceful Trees etc.), is the title of a song/tune purportedly written by 陳叔寳 Chen Subao popularly known as 陳後主 (the Last Lord of Chen) of the Southern Chen Dynasty 南陳 (capital present day Nanjing, then called 建康) which ruled over the southern half of China prior to unification by the 隋 Sui Dynasty. He was most licentious during his short reign (582-589) when he and his court indulged daily in wine and dine, song and dance which led to the fall of the dynasty. I have chosen not to translate the reference to the song/tune by the title (which does not tell much without the assistance of a long note), but by the authorship (which makes sense even without this note), hence, the line “Still sing from o’er the river, that song by the merry king’s hand”. I had considered “gay king’s hand”, but have decided against it for its homosexual connotations. A worse case would be “gay lord’s hand”. The word “merry” can be replaced by “same” or “very” (which means the same) if one wishes to be minimalist. However, that song (including that music and that lifestyle) had always been considered to be the cause of the fall of the dynasty, 亡國之音, the music that brings down a nation, so to speak.

杜牧: 贈別 (首行--多情卻似...) Du Mu: Given on Parting

2009-05-20T16:39:00.005+08:00

What follows is my latest work. Please note that I have used 2 words which are not in good currency, viz. "merry-make" and "heartful" which I believe are most appropriate for 笑 in line 2 and 有心 in line 3 respectively, in the context of the poem. Please also mark the sharp image of "the candle melting in tears" in lines 3 and 4.

杜牧: 贈別其二 (首行--多情卻似 …)
Du Mu (803-852): Given on Parting II (First line--Fond are my feelings, yet …)

1 多情卻似總無情
2 唯覺樽前笑不成
3 蠟燭有心還惜別
4 替人垂淚到天明

1 Fond are my feelings yet unfeeling I feign;
2 Before the wine-flask we merry-make in vain.
3 The heartful candle, our parting, it grieves,
4 And in tears it melts till it’s morning again

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
17th May 2009 (revised 18.5.09; 19.5.09; 20.5.09)

Notes:
* This English rendition is in tetrameter (4 metrical feet) while the original is in 7-character lines. The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original.
* Alternative rendition: With the same rhyme scheme, the verse can alternatively be rhymed and written as follows:
1 Fond are my feelings, I unfeeling appear;
2 Before the wine-flask, no laughter, I fear.
3 The heartful candle, our parting, it grieves,
4 And in tears it melts, till morning is here
* Lines 3 and 4: In line 3, “heartful”, a word extant but not in good currency, is the best choice for 有心 since both hint at the candlewick 燭芯. A possible but less than ideal substitute is “heartfelt”. If this were to be preferred, the line should read “Heartfelt, the candle, our …” in either version.
For lines 3 and 4, I had originally penned them as “The candle, for our parting, its heart out, it weeps, A-dribbling teardrops, till it’s daylight again.” I have decided against them for being less than faithful to the original and far too exaggerated. Please compare “the candle - heartful - grieves - our parting” to “the candle - weeps - its heart out - for our parting” (line 3), and “melts - in tears” to “a-dribbling teardrops” (line 4).

劉禹錫: 竹枝詞其一 Liu Yuxi: Song of Bamboo Twigs I

2009-04-28T15:05:00.002+08:00

Here is another love-song from another great Tang master. Hope you enjoy it.

劉禹錫: 竹枝詞其一 (楊柳青青)
Liu Yuxi (772-842): Song of Bamboo Twigs: I (Green. oh, green is the willow)

1 楊柳青青江水平
2 聞郎江上唱歌聲
3 東邊日出西邊雨
4 道是無晴卻有晴

1 Green, oh, green is the willow, placid, peaceful the flow,
2 Hark and I hear on the river, songs from my love, my beau.
3 To the east, the sun is up, to the west, drizzles persist;
4 Though they say the sun is naught, to me, the sun is aglow.

translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黄宏發
30th October 2008 (revised 3.11.08; 5.11.08; 17.11.08; 16.12.08; 25.2.09; 28.4.09)

Notes:
* The original poem is in 7-character lines. This English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet). The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original.
* Line 1: I had considered “Green, serene” but have decided that “Green, oh, green” is better for being more faithful to the original.
* Line 2: Following “love”, the word “beau” should be taken to mean lover or suitor only, and not dandy or fop.
* Line 4: The main difficulty in this line is that in Chinese, 晴 (meaning sunny) and 情 (meaning love, affection) have the same sound, thus creating, with 無 (no/not) and 有 (have/is), a double meaning of 無晴-有晴 and 無情-有情. I think my rendition has covered it well, particularly having written “songs from my love, my beau” in line 2. If “to me, the sun is aglow” is considered too subtle, an excellent alternative is “for me, my sun is aglow”.

崔護: 題都城南莊 Cui Hu: At a Homestead South of the Capital City

2009-03-20T13:52:00.002+08:00

What follows is my latest translation. I hope you will enjoy it.

崔護: 題都城南莊(昔所見)
Cui Hu (circa 796): At a Homestead South of the Capital City (Reminiscence)

1 去年今日此門中
2 人面桃花相映紅
3 人面知(祇今)何處去
4 桃花依舊笑春風

1 ‘Twas today, at this doorway, a year ago,
2 Her face and peach-blows re-doubly aglow.
3 Her face is gone now, whereto unknown, yet
4 Peach-blows beam on, as spring-winds flow.

translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
11th March 2009 (revised 12.3.09; 16.3.09; 19.3.09)

Notes:
* The original is in 7-character lines. This English rendition is in tetrameter (4 metrical feet). The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original.
* Line 1: I had considered “portal”, “door”, “gate”, “front-door”, “doorstep”, “threshold”, “gateway”, etc. but have now decided for “doorway” to rhyme internally with “today”.
* Lines 2 and 3: I had considered “A/The face” for line 2 and “That face” for line 3 to retain the ambiguity of the original, but have decided for “Her face” to make the two lines personal (and a face by the peach flowers must belong to a young lady), yet not as personal as “Your face”.
* Lines 2 and 4: I had used “peach-blooms” but have now decided for “peach-blows”
* Line 2: I have interpreted 相 to mean both 共 “together”, “in unison”, etc. and 交互 “at each other/one another”, “mutual”, “reciprocal”, etc. and have coined the word “re-doubly” to translate 相映紅 as “re-doubly aglow”. If “re-doubly” is considered odd, an alternative is “redoubled their glow”.
* Line 3: I had used “I know not where” but have now decided for “whereto unknown”.
* Line 4: I had considered “still beam” but have decided for “beam on” to translate 依舊 “as of old”. I have interpreted 笑春風 to mean “smile/beam in the spring winds” and not “to laugh at the spring winds”. I have decided to use “flow”, instead of “blow”, to speak of the gentle spring winds.

王昌齡: 芙蓉樓送辛漸 Wang Changling: At the Lotus Inn to Bid Adieu to Xin Jian

2009-02-18T15:20:00.003+08:00

I hope you will enjoy this rendition, particularly "My heart is ice immaculate, abiding in a vessel pristine" to translate "一片冰心在玉壺".

王昌齡: 芙蓉樓送辛漸
Wang Changling (698-757): At the Lotus Inn to Bid Adieu to Xin Jian

1 寒雨連江(天)夜入吳
2 平明送客楚山孤
3 洛陽親友如相問
4 一片冰心在玉壺

1 Tonight, into Wu, o’er the River, it rains of sleet so keen;
2 Come dawn alone you’ll depart, by the hills of Chu in between.
3 If my kin and kith in Louyang, should after me they ask, well
4 My heart is ice immaculate, abiding in a vessel pristine.

translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黄宏發
11th January 2009 (revised 13.1.09; 14.1.09; 15.1.09; 19.1.09; 18.2.09)

Notes:
* The original is in 7-character lines. This English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet). The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original.
* Title: I have taken 芙蓉 to refer to 水芙蓉 “lotus” rather than 木芙蓉 or 木槿 “hibiscus”, hence, “the Lotus Inn” to name the inn/restaurant situated at the north-western corner of the city wall of Zhenjiang 鎮江 on the south bank of and closest to the River 長江.
* Line 1: I have taken 夜入吳 “entering Wu at night” to mean 寒雨 “sleet” and not the poet or his friend Xin Jian or both of them entering Wu.
* Line 2: I have taken 楚山孤 (Chu hills alone/desolate) to mean the poet’s friend Xin Jian travelling through the hills of Chu “alone” and not to mean the “desolate” hills of Chu.
* Line 3: I had considered “family and friends” but have decided for “kin and kith” as the word “family” suggests wife and children which I do not believe is the poet’s meaning. I had considered “say”, “pray”, “oh” and “ah” as a connective, but have decided for “well”. Perhaps, I can do without the connective.
* Line 4: The image here is obviously 冰-ice清-clean玉-jade潔- clean. I have, therefore, added “immaculate/pure” to explain “ice” and omitted “jade” (which in this context should be “white jade” 白玉, but “jade” 玉 standing alone creates a mistaken green image) in favour of a “clean vessel”, hence, “vessel pristine”. I had considered “Like ice immaculate is my heart”, “My heart is like ice immaculate”, “As pure as ice is my heart”, “Pure like ice is my heart” and “Immaculate like ice is my heart”, but have decided for “My heart is ice immaculate”. I had considered “alive”, “vibrant”, “throbbing”, “vibrating” to go with “in a vessel pristine” so as to dispel any image of an “icy, cold heart” but decided that the adjectives “immaculate/pure” and “pristine” are powerful enough and that “alive” etc. would add too much to the meaning. I had then considered the plainer and more neutral words of “held”, “kept”, “laid”, “resting”, “lying” and “sitting” and have decided for “abiding”.

李白: 黄鶴樓送孟浩然 Li Bai: At the Yellow Crane Tower to Bid Meng Haoran Bon Voyage

2009-01-02T16:32:00.004+08:00

Happy New Year! This is the 2nd day of 2009 and I am posting 2 renditions of Li Bai's "Yellow Crane Tower" so as to report to you how I failed in my first attempt of March 2007 soon after I picked up the hobby. Although I never posted it, I did share it with some of my friends. As if to comfort myself, I called it unorthodox. They agreed probably for the same reason.

李白: 黄鶴樓送孟浩然之廣陵
Li Bai (701—762): At the Yellow Crane Tower: to Bid Meng Haoran Bon Voyage to Guangling

1 故人西辭黃鶴樓
2 煙花三月下揚州
3 孤帆遠影碧山(空)盡
4 惟見長江天際流

1 At the Tower of Yellow Crane, my friend, to the west you said goodbye,
2 In this misty, flowery early spring, for Yangzhou downstream you ply.
3 A speck, a silhouette is your lonely sail, to the verdant hills receding, till
4 In my eyes there’s only the long, Long River, rolling to the verge of the sky.

translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黄宏發
19th December 2008 (revised 22.12.08; 23.12.08; 29.12.08)

Notes:
* This English rendition is in heptameter (7 metrical feet) to emulate the original 7-character lines. The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original. This in fact is the first poem I attempted since picking up the hobby in March 2007. This first attempt, revised up to August 2007, was never published and was abandoned as it is far too unorthodox. It is, however, reproduced below in the note on the abandoned translation to record my failure.
* Title: “Yellow Crane Tower” or “Tower of Yellow Crane” is in present-day Wuhan in Hubei Province to the west of “Guangling” or “Yangzhou”. Meng Haoran, also a poet, was a friend of Li Bai’s. Guangling is present-day Yangzhou in Jiangsu Province and was then also known as Yangzhou, hence, its appearance in the text in line 2.
* Line 2: I had considered “the mists and blossoms of March and April” but have decided to use “this misty, flowery early spring”to translate 煙花三月, 三月 being the third month on the lunar calendar. Other translations have vatriously adopted “March” or “April”.“Yangzhou” can be replaced by “the City”or “the Grand City” or even “Youngborough”, which I do not prefer.
* Line 3: I have adopted the 碧山 “verdant hills” version instead of the 碧空 “heavens azure” or “blue void” version. I had considered “fading into the verdant hills” and “to the verdant hills you recede”, but have decided for “to the verdant hills receding”.
* Line 4: The word “my” should be pronounced unstressed as “mi”. The first “long (長)” is added to recognize that it was the poet’s conscious choice to describe the river as long. He could have described it as “grand (大)”. 江 (river) was the original name of this particular river. With this first “long”, the second “Long” should be unstressed.
* The abandoned translation of March 2007 revised up to August 2007:
1.1 Alas! my friend, for years my best,
1.2 You bade farewell to your native west,
1.3 At the Yellow Crane Tower, we parted.
2.1 Willows are misting, flowers in splendour,
2.2 In this third month on the lunar calendar,
2.3 Downstream to Yangzhou, you departed.
3.1 The solitary sail for you they set,
3.2 By now, is but a distant silhouette,
3.3 Fading into the hills and heavens azure.
4.1 And the only sight remaining clear,
4.2 Is the vista of the River long and drear,
4.3 Rolling to where the horizons obscure.
translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
29th March 2007 (revised 4.4.07; 10.4.07; 26.4.07; 10.5.07; 14.5.07 27.07:17.7.07; 18.7.07; 23.7.07; 30.7.07; 14.8.07)

李白: 夜思 Li Bai: Night Thoughts

2008-12-04T16:14:00.002+08:00

The following is probably the most popular Chinese quatrain. It is by Li Bai (or Li Po) of the Tang dynasty. The title is "Night Thoughts" or "Thoughts at Night". My first attempt was in June last year which I found unsatisfactory. This is my second attempt (the first attempt is in the notes).

李白: (靜)夜思
Li Bai (701--762): Night Thoughts

1 床前明月光
2 疑是地上霜
3 舉頭望明(山)月
4 低頭思故鄉

1 Before my bed, the moonlight so bright,
2 Be frost on the ground, I suppose it might.
3 I raise my head and the moon I behold, then
4 I lower it, brooding: I’m homesick tonight.

translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
27th November 2008 (revised 28.11.08))

Notes:-
* The original poem is in 5-character lines. This English rendition is in tetrameter (4 metrical feet). The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original. Below is an older translation of mine penned last year in June and revised in December. It is in hexameter (6 metrical feet) and features two couplets (rhyme scheme AABB):-
Li Bai (701--762): Thoughts in the Still of the Night
1 So luminous is the moonlight on the floor before my bed,
2 And so white that, apparently, the ground is frosted instead.
3 I raise my head to gaze at the moon, o’er the hilltop, so bright;
4 I drop it in thoughts of my homeland, in the still of the night, tonight.
translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
6 June 2007 (revised 9.6.07; 3.12.07; 5.12.07)
* Title and lines 3 and 4 of the old translation: Popularly entitled 夜思, but older versions entitle it 靜夜思, with the additional character 靜 (still, quiet, silent, etc.), hence, the old title “Thoughts in the Still of the night” and the addition of “in the still of the night, tonight” to line 4 of the old translation. Older versions of the poem feature 山月(hill + moon) instead of 明月(bright moon). The old translation of line 3 covers both meanings.
* Line 2: The word “it” appeared twice in draft. I have now deleted the “it” between “Be” and“frost”. I had considered “guess” but have decided for “suppose”.
* Line 4: I had considered “musing” but have decided for “brooding”.

賀知章: 詠柳 He Zhizhang: An Ode to the Willow

2008-11-20T16:25:00.003+08:00

Below is my latest translation, a quatrain by an early Tang poet He Zhizhang.

賀知章: 詠柳
He Zhizhang (659-744): An Ode to the Willow

1 碧玉妝成一樹高
2 萬條垂下綠絲縧
3 不知細葉誰裁出
4 二月春風似剪刀

1 Up to your crown, O willow, dressed in the green of jades,
2 Myriads of twigs so verdant, droop like your silken braids.
3 Who knows who the tailor is, who’s cut your leaves so fine? It’s
4 The vernal winds past February, sharp as the scissors’ blades.

translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黄宏發
20th November 2008

Notes:-
* The original is in 7-character lines. This English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet). The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original.
* Line 1: I take 一樹高 to mean “to the top of the tree” or “the whole tree” and not “a tall tree”, hence, the phrase “Up to your crown”, “crown” means “head”.
* Line 2: I had considered “hair in braids” but have decided for “silken braids”.
* Line 3: I had considered “master” but have decided for “tailor”.
* Line 4: I have used “past February” as 二月 the second lunar month approximates the solar month of March.

李商隱: 登樂遊原 Li Shangyin: Ascending the Pleasurable Plateau

2008-10-15T15:04:00.002+08:00

Below is my latest translation which is my first attempt at a poem by Li Shangyin of the late Tang Dynasty. I hope you will enjoy it.

李商隱: 登樂遊原
Li Shangyin (813-858): Ascending the Pleasurable Plateau

1 向晚意不適
2 驅車登古原
3 夕陽無限好
4 只是近黃昏

1 It’s late in the day, my heart’s not well at ease,
2 To the ancient plateau, up, in a carriage I go.
3 Sublime is the beauty of the sun while yet unset,
4 Too soon, alas, is dusky darkness to follow.

translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
9th October 2008 (revised 10.10.08; 13.10.08; 15.10.08)

Notes:
* This English rendition is in pentameter (5 metrical feet) to emulate the original 5-character lines. The rhyme scheme is ABCB which I surmise the original to be. I am grateful to Gabriel C.M. Yu 余志明 for pointing out to me that in the 文淵閣四庫全書電子版明楊慎撰古音獵要卷二: “昏音玄…”. It should also be noted that “go” and “follow” here is an unstressed (feminine) rhyme.
* Line 1: I had considered “my mind is ill at ease”, but have decided for “my heart’s not well at ease”.
* Line 2: I had considered “plateau of old” and “by carriage”, but have decided for “ancient plateau” and “in a carriage”.
* Line 3: I had considered “boundless” versus “sublime” versus “infinite”, and “beauty” versus “splendour”, and have decided for “sublime is the beauty”. I had also considered “ere it sets”, “before it sets”, “about to set”, “soon to set” and “as yet unset”, but have decided for “while yet unset”.
* Line 4: I had considered “dusk and darkness”, “dusk then darkness” and “dusky evening”, but have decided for “dusky darkness”, an unusual expression coined to remind us that “dusk” is “the darker stage of twilight at night or in the morning” (Shorter Oxford Dictionary) which, in this context, leads on to dark night. For the expression 黃昏 which means evening, not dawn, I have chosen to use 昏=dark only, and not 黃=yellow. A superb alternative, albeit at the expense of the alliteration in “dusky darkness”, is “dusky evening”.

李白: 贈汪倫 Li Bai: To Wang Lun

2008-09-18T15:28:00.002+08:00

Below is my rendition of Li Bai's "To Wang Lun" which is a beautiful friendship poem. You will notice that I have discarded the original rendition which was in couplets inconsistent with Tang poetry.

李白: 贈汪倫
Li Bai (701—762): To Wang Lun

1 李白乘舟將欲行
2 忽聞岸上踏歌聲
3 桃花潭水深千尺
4 不及汪倫送我情

1 A boat I have boarded, Li Bai am I, and I’m all set to go,
2 When suddenly from on shore a din I hear, of stomping and singing I know.
3 The water in the Pool of Peach Blossoms is as deep as a thousand feet,
4 Deep not as the parting sentiments, to me, Wang Lun, you show.

translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
26 May 2007 (revised 27.5.07; 5.12.07; 13.12.07; 22.2.08)

Notes:-
* This English rendition is in heptameter (7 metrical feet) to emulate the original 7-character lines. When reading it, I suggest accenting both “all” and set” in line 1 and “Deep” and “not” in line 4. The rhyme scheme is AABA, more demanding than the original ABCB.
* Line 2: I am prepared to have “stomping and singing” replaced by “tapping and singing” if it can be said that the Chinese people in Tang dynasty, or at least Wang Lun, tap-danced. An alternative is “a dancing songster”, but I am satisfied with “stomping and singing”.
* Line 4: An alternative which I first penned on 26.5.07 is “Deep not as Wang Lun’s affection, your fond/warm adieu I meet”, but it turns the rhyme scheme into AABB which sounds great, but I prefer AABA as classical Chinese quatrains (4-line verses) follow either AABA or ABCB.

杜甫: 絕句兩首其二 Du Fu: Two Quatrains II (Last line: What year be the day ...)

2008-08-29T19:33:00.008+08:00

Sorry for the late posting. Here is one by Du Fu, the second of his Two Quatrains usually known by the first line "In Streams So Aqua, the Whiter the Birds Appear", but I prefer the last line "What Year Be the Day I Return ..."

杜甫: 絕句兩首其二(何日是歸年)
Du Fu (712-770): Two Quatrains II (Last line: What year be the day I return ...)

1 江碧鳥逾白
2 山青花欲然
3 今春看又過
4 何日是歸年

1 In streams so aqua, the whiter the birds appear,
2 On hills so green, red flowers bloom as in flame.
3 This spring, it seems, is again soon to pass,
4 What year be the day I return to whence I came?

translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
13 June 2008 (revised 16.6.09; 18.6.08)

Notes:
* This English rendition is in pentameter (5 metrical feet) to emulate the original 5-character lines and the rhyme scheme is ABCB as is in the original.
* Line 2: The Chinese character 然 here means 燃 with a 火=fire to the left meaning “burn” or "flame". I have chosen "flame" as it conveys more vividly the colour contrast of “the-bluer-the-whiter, the-greener-the-redder” through association with the red flame-flower, the red flowers of the flame azalea and trees called the flame of the forest. In a way, the word “red” in the line is superfluous. It is included for clarity and it does not affect the pentameter as, by convention, “red” here should be read unaccented.
* Line 3: I had originally used “set” instead of “soon”. I have, however, interpreted the line to mean “今年的春天,看來,又[快要]過去了” as in the school children's rhyme “春天不是讀書天/夏日炎炎正好眠/等到秋來冬又(=快要)至(=到來))/還是收拾書包好過年”, hence, “is again soon to pass” to include both “again” and “soon” with the word “is” subtly suggesting the inevitability of spring passing.
* Line 4: The expression “whence I came” (which is grammatically correct) can be changed, without affecting the meter, to “from whence I came”. According to Webster’s Encyclopedic Unabridged Dictionary, “the idiom ‘from whence’ is old in the language, well established and standard’ and used by many including ‘the King James Bible, Shakespeare, Dryden, and Dickens.” I dropped the word “from” for the simple reason that, with it, the line looks too long.

柳宗元: 江雪 Liu Zongyuan: River-Snow

2008-07-23T15:45:00.003+08:00

The following is my rendition of another very famous poem of the Tang Dynasty, River-Snow by Liu Zongyuan. I hope you will enjoy it.

柳宗元: 江雪
Liu Zongyuan (773-819): River-Snow

1 千山鳥飛絕
2 萬徑人蹤滅
3 孤舟簑笠翁
4 獨釣寒江雪

1 In the thousand hills and hillocks, birds are not in flight,
2 On myriads of paths and pathways, no trace of men in sight.
3 Yet in a lone-boat, a fisher-folk, in broad-hat and straw-cloak sits
4 And, all alone, he angles, the river-snow, its iciness, despite.

translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
15 June 2008 (revised 16.6.08; 19.6.08; 21.6.08; 19.7.08)

Notes:
* The rhyme scheme of this English rendition is AABA which I believe the original to be. I have been unable to render the poem in pentameter (5 metrical feet) to emulate the original 5-character lines. So, hexameter (6 metrical feet) it is.
* Lines 1 and 2: The redundant words of “and hillocks” and “and pathways” are added to convey the sense of “many-and-all hills and paths” and, of course, to complete the hexameter.
* Lines 3 and 4: The words of “Yet”, “sits” and “despite” are not in the original, but their meaning can reasonably be implied.

張繼楓橋夜泊 Zhang Ji: Moored for the Night by the Maple Bridge

2008-06-25T16:40:00.013+08:00

Below is my rendition of a very famous Chinese poem of the Tang Dynasty in heptameter (7 metrical feet) and rhymed AABA.

張繼: 楓橋夜泊

1 月落烏啼霜滿天
2 江楓漁火對愁眠
3 姑蘇城外寒山寺
4 夜半鐘聲到客船

Zhang Ji (mid 700's): Moored for the Night by the Maple Bridge

1 The moon is down, crows caw, a frostiness fills the sky;
2 By the riverside maples and fishing lights, sad, insomnious, I lie.
3 Beyond the walls of Gusu City, where Hanshan Monastery stands,
4 Bong, goes the bell at midnight to touch the boat of the passerby.

translated by Andrew W.F. Wong
5 June 2008 (last revised 18.6.08)

Notes:
*Zhang Ji was not a major poet of the period, but this poem has always been extremely popular and is represented in numerous paintings. This English rendition is in heptameter (7 metrical feet) to emulate the original 7-character lines. The rhyme scheme is AABA as in the original.
*Line 3: "Gusu" is present day Suzhou 蘇州. "Hanshan" is literally Cold Mountain 寒山. It is also the name of a famous Buddhist monk, but the claim that the monastery was named after the monk who lived in the late 700's to early 800's remains dubious.
*Line 4: I had considered replacing "goes" by "tolls" but decided not to as it might produce an audio(-visual) effect of Western church bell tolling and ringing. "Bong" is the correct sound of the single Buddhist monastery bell hit by the end of a large wooden pole. The word "touch" is chosen for its ambiguity. It was originally "reach" which is the literal meaning. I had also considered using "bless" (the sound of the bell must or would have quelled some of the sadness.) But there is already an abundance of the "b" alliteration of "bong", "bell" and "boat" in the line and of "By" and "Beyond" in the previous lines.

杜秋娘: 金縷衣 Du Qiuniang: Robe Embroidered in Gold

2008-05-29T13:54:00.005+08:00

The following is a most recent translation of mine. It is the only poem by a woman poet (poetess) of the Tang Dynasty included in the anthology "300 Poems of the Tang Dynasty". From the fact that Du Mu (803-852) wrote a poem to Du Qiuniang, she must have lived in the early 800's.

杜秋娘: 金縷衣

1 勸君莫惜金縷衣
2 勸君惜取少年時
3 花開堪折直須折
4 莫待無花空折枝

Du Qiuniang: Robe Embroidered in Gold

1 Cherish not, I pray, your robe embroidered in gold;
2 Cherish, I pray, relish - the days before you're old.
3 Flowers fit for plucking, you pluck while still in bloom,
4 Lest you pluck but twigs denuded, bald, bare and cold.

translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa 黃宏發)
21 May 2008.

Notes:
*Lines 3 and 4: The word "you" can be deleted from line 3 and the words "you pluck" in line 4 can be replaced by "pluck'st" which sounds archaic but means the same.

李白: 獨坐敬亭山 Li Bai: Sitting Alone at Mount Jingting

2008-04-24T10:35:00.009+08:00

The following translation of the poem "Sitting Alone at Mount Jingting" by the Chinese poet Li Bai (701-762) was written on 26 November 2007, last revised on 5 December 2007:-

1 衆鳥高飛盡
2 孤雲獨去閒
3 相看兩不厭
4 只有敬亭山

1 Vanished are the birds upon soaring high,
2 Save a cloud solitary, floats freely by.
3 Tired not of reciprocating one another's gaze,
4 Thou, and thou only, Mount Jingting and I.

Notes:-
*I am grateful to 施頴洲 for his "high(line 1)-by(line 2)-I(line 4)" rhyme in his translation of the same poem which he entitled "Li Po: Sitting Alone by Mount Ching-ting" on pp.66-67 of his "Tang and Song Poetry -- Chinese-English" 中英對照讀唐詩宋詞, 九歌出版社, 台北 Taipei, 2006.
*Line 3: I had originally translated the line as "Tired not of the company we two keep" but have decided to stick to the "gaze" formulation. I have used "one another's gaze" (which is grammatically correct despite popular belief) as "each other's gaze" sounds a bit harsh.
*Line 4: I have used the archaic "thou" instead of "you" faintly hinting at the "I-Thou" vis-a-vis the "I-It" relationship differntiated by Martin Buber in his book "I and Thou" hoping to truly personify Mount Jingting.

Now, back to my last (March 2008) post, I have now further revised my translation of "House in the Bamboo Grove" by Wang Wei (701-761) as follows:-

Alone I sit in the shade of the bamboo trees,
My strings I pluck, then long and loud I sing.
Deep in the forest, none knows I exist,
None but the moon, to me she comes a-shining.

Notes:-
*I am grateful to William P. Coleman who recently corresponded with me at length in his blog http://williampcoleman.wordpress.com on his and my versions of the poem. My use of "shade" instead of "bowers" in line 1 and "strings" instead of "zither" in line 2 owe much to his criticism.

Now, further back to my February 2008 post, I have now decided to revert to the onomatopoeiac word "pitter-patter" in line 3 of "A Morning in Spring" by Meng Haoran (689-740), thus:-

In spring I sleep unaware morning is here,
From near then far, trilling songbirds I hear.
In the night's pitter-pattering of winds and rains,
How many blossoms fallen? Not few, I fear!

Notes:-
* I am grateful to Lily Yam Kwan who urged me to reconsider "In the din of".
*Line 1: I have deleted the two commas in the line.

王維: 竹里館 Wang Wei: House in the Bamboo Grove

2008-03-11T12:57:00.006+08:00

I hope you will like my rendition of Wang Wei: House in the Bamboo Grove (王維: 竹里館) in an "a-b-c-b" rhyming scheme as in the original Chinese:-

1 獨坐幽篁裡
2 彈琴復長嘯
3 深林人不知
4 明月來相照

1 Alone I sit, in the bowers of the bamboo trees,
2 My zither I pluck, then, long and loud I sing.
3 Deep in the forest, none knows I exist,
4 None but the moonlight, to me, solace you bring.

translated 18 February 2008 (revised 7.3.2008)

I have revised Meng Haoran: A Morning in Spring (孟浩然: 春曉) in my February post as follows:

In spring, I sleep, unaware morning is here,
From near then far, trilling songbirds I hear.
In the din of the wind and rain all through the night,
How many blossoms fallen? Not few, I fear!

This follows an "a-a-b-a" rhyming scheme as in the original Chinese.

The same goes for Li Bai: Downstream to Jiangling (李白: 下江陵) in my January post.

孟浩然: 春曉 Meng Haoran: A Morning in Spring

2008-02-20T20:38:00.009+08:00

I have just finished translating Meng Haoran's "A Morning in Spring" and wish to share it with you the soonest. Here we go. I will post my other finished poems later.

1 春眠不覺曉
2 處處聞啼鳥
3 夜來風雨聲
4 花落知多少

1 In spring, I sleep, unaware morning is here,
2 From near then far, trilling songbirds I hear;
3 In the night's pitter-patter of winds and rains though mild,
4 How many fallen petals? Know not, I fear!

translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發
12 February 2008

Notes:
Line 2: I had considered using "chirping", "cheeping" or "singing" but decided "trilling" is best. (12.2.2008)
Line 3: I had considered "In the din of the wind and rain all night last night," which means the night was stormy, but dicided to adopt the gentle spring showers interpretation of "In the night's pitter-patter of winds and rains so mild". (18.2.2008) I have now decided to use "though" instead of "so". The line now reads "In the night's pitter-patter of winds and rains though mild" and the poem above has been accordingly modified. (22.2.2008)
Line 4: I had originally ended the poem with "None knows! Oh dear!" but have now decided to end it with "Know not, I fear!". An alternative is "Not few, I fear!" which cleverly covers 少 but misses 知. (14.2.2008)
The poet's name should be Meng Haoran, not Meng Haoren. This is now rectified. (22.2.2008)

李白: 下江陵(早發白帝城) Li Bai: Downstream to Jiangling (Early Start from Baidi City)

2008-01-28T17:45:00.014+08:00

POSTSCRIPT 16.6.2011, POLISHING Line 4: I have revised "myriads of flanking mountains high and low" in line 4 to "a myriad cliff-tops o'erhanging high or low". My rendition now reads:- (Notes revised accordingly.)

Li Bai (701—762): Downstream to Jiangling (Early Departure from Baidi City)

1 At dawn I left Baidi yclad in clouds aglow,

2 A thousand miles to Jiangling, takes but a day to go.

3 In the endless cries of monkeys on banks both left and right,

4 I’ve skiffed past a myriad cliff-tops o'erhanging high or low.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發

23 January 2008 (revised 24.1.08; 2.7.08; 5.9.2008; 16.12.08; 18.2.09; 26.6.09; 10.6.11; 13.6.11; 15.6.11; 16.6.11)

POSTSCRIPT 15.6.2011, LATEST TOUCHING UP: I have now decided to use "yclad" instead of "enwrapped" in line 1, "takes but a day" instead of "takes only a day" in line 2, "monkeys on banks" instead of "monkeys from banks" in line 3, and "flanking mountains high and low" instead of "mountains flanking me high or low" in line 4. This latest version is as follows:- (The notes are accordingly revised.)

Li Bai (701—762): Downstream to Jiangling (Early Departure from Baidi City)

1 At dawn I left Baidi yclad in clouds aglow,

2 A thousand miles to Jiangling, takes but a day to go.

3 In the endless cries of monkeys on banks both left and right,

4 I’ve skiffed past myriads of flanking mountains high and low.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發

23 January 2008 (revised 24.1.08; 2.7.08; 5.9.2008; 16.12.08; 18.2.09; 26.6.09; 10.6.11; 13.6.11; 15.6.11)

POSTSCRIPT 13.6.2011, FURTHER REVISIONS to Lines 3 and 4: I now consider my original "row after row" or "row following row" formulation totally misguided as explained in my notes revised up to today (13.6.2011). My further revised version is as follows:- (For revised notes, please see POSTSCRIPT 10.6.2011 where they have been revised up to 13.6.2011.)

Li Bai (701—762): Downstream to Jiangling (Early Departure from Baidi City)

1 At dawn I left Baidi enwrapped in clouds aglow,

2 A thousand miles to Jiangling, takes only a day to go.

3 In the endless cries of monkeys from banks both left and right,

4 I’ve skiffed past myriads of mountains flanking me high or low.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發

23 January 2008 (revised 24.1.08; 2.7.08; 5.9.2008; 16.12.08; 18.2.09; 26.6.09; 10.6.11; 13.6.11)

POSTSCRIPT 10.6.2011, LATEST REVISION: I have revised my rendition of this famous poem by 李白 Li Bai first posted here on 28.1.2008. There are two alternative titles to the poem. I have translated one 下江陵 as "Downstream to Jiangling" and the other 早發白帝城 as "Early Departure from Baidi City". I have also revised and expanded my notes which follow my translation. I do hope you will find this an improved version:-

Li Bai (701—762): Downstream to Jiangling (Early Departure from Baidi City

1 At dawn I left Baidi enwrapped in clouds aglow,

2 A thousand miles to Jiangling, takes only a day to go.

3 In the endless calls of monkeys coming from bank to bank,

4 I’ve skiffed past myriads of mountains row following row.

Translated by Andrew W.F. Wong (Huang Hongfa) 譯者: 黃宏發

23 January 2008 (revised 24.1.08; 2.7.08; 5.9.2008; 16.12.08; 18.2.09; 26.6.09; 10.6.11)

Notes (revised and expanded up to 10.6.2011, further revised up to 13.6, then 15.6.2011 and 16.6.2011):-

* This English rendition is in hexameter (6 metrical feet) whilst the original is in 7-character lines. The rhyme scheme is AABA (or AAXA) as in the original.

* Title and lines 1 and 2: I am grateful to 許淵冲 Xu Yuanzhong (XYZ) of Peking University who graciously met me on 3^rd December 2008. On the question of proper names, he suggested to me that the Chinese place names should best be omitted. It seems he has taken the advice of my mentor John A. Turner (who taught me poetry in 1961-62) one step further (please see pp. xxxii-xxxiv of his “A Golden Treasury of Chinese Poetry”, Hong Kong: The Chinese Univ. of Hong Kong Press, 1989.) XYZ’s rendition which he entitled “Leaving the White Emperor Town at Dawn” can be found in his “Bilingual Edition 300 Tang Poems”, Beijing: Higher Education Press, 2000 p. 191. Notwithstanding my preference for the original place names, I can use “the castle/citadel/city” to replace “Baidi” (XYZ has used “White Emperor”) and “down the Gorges” or simply “downstream” to replace “Jiangling” (XYZ has used “through canyons”). I am afraid I find it impossible to do the same for the two titles of the poem.

* Line 1: I have now decided to use “dawn” instead of “daybreak” and have changed “leave” to “left” to make clear that dawn is past I had used “amidst clouds aglow”, then considered “yclad (meaning clothed) in clouds aglow”, “in a canopy of clouds aglow”, and decided for “enwrapped in clouds aglow”. I have now changed my mind in favour of "yclad".

* Line 2: Although the Chinese mile 里 “li” is about one third of a mile (according to the 1929 official standards) and the distance between Baidi and Jiangling is actually about 300 miles, yet I do love the hyperbole of “A thousand miles” and have no wish to be as precise as “Three hundred miles” or as loose as “Hundreds of miles”. I had penned “is a mere day’s flow”, then considered “is but a day’s flow” and “is just a day’s flow” and, alternatively, “takes but a day to go” and “takes just a day to go”, and have now decided for “takes only a day to go”. I have now changed my mind in favour of "takes but a day to go".

* Line 3: I had first penned the line as “Whilst monkeys cry incessantly from bank to bank”, considered “Whilst monkeys cry incessantly on banks left and right”, “In the unceasing cries of monkeys from banks left and right”, “In the endless din of monkeys calling from bank to bank”, “In the endless cries of monkeys calling from bank to bank” and “In the endless calls of monkeys coming from bank to bank”, and have now decided for "In the endless cries of monkeys on banks both left and right".

* Line 4: Although I had considered the word “sailed”, I decided for “skiffed” which sounds much speedier. The noun “skiff” 輕舟, which I need to include, can according to the Shorter Oxford Dictionary be used as a verb. I had considered “skiffed through’ to replace “skiffed past” so as to make certain the syllable “past” (or “through” if chosen) is not read stressed, but have decided it unnecessary. I had first penned “row after row” to end the poem, then revised it to “row following row”, in order to complete the 6-foot meter and the "-ow" rhyme. I now consider "row after row" totally misguided as sailing downstream though the Three Gorges, one can only see two rows of mountains or cliffs or bluffs or escarpments flanking the river. I, therefore, decided to re-write the line. I considered "I've skiffed past myriads of mountains flanking me high or low", then "I've skiffed past myriads of cliffs o'erhanging high and low", then decided for "I've skiffed past myriads of flanking mountains high and low", but have now decided to re-write it as "I've skiffed past a myriad cliff-tops o'erhanging high or low".

ORIGINAL POST 28.1.2008: THIS WAS MY VERY FIRST POST ON MY THEN NEWLY CREATED BLOG. I GAVE A VERY BRIEF PORGRESS OF MY WORK FOLLOWED BY MY FIRST RENDITION. I SAID;-

So far I have translated the following poems:

1. 李白: 下江陵(早發白帝城) ~~~朝辭白帝彩雲間
Li Bai: Downstream to Jiangling (Early Start from Baidi City) ~~~
At daybreak I leave Baidi amidst clouds aglow,

2. 辛棄疾: 寄調採桑子 ~~~少年不識愁滋味
Xin Qizi: To the Tune of Ca Sang Zi (Picking Mulberries) ~~~
When young I knew not the taste of sorrow and woe,

3. 李白: 獨坐敬亭山 ~~~眾鳥高飛盡
Li Bai: Sitting Alone at Mount Jingting ~~~
Vanished are the birds upon soaring high,

4. 王之渙: 登鸛鵲樓 ~~~白日依山盡
Wang Zhihuan: Ascending Stork Tower ~~~
Over the mountains the bright sun sets,

5. 李白: 贈汪倫 ~~~李白乘舟將欲去
Li Bai: To Wang Lun ~~~
A boat I've boarded, Li Bai am I, and I'm all set to go,

6. 杜甫: 望嶽 ~~~岱宗夫如何
Du Fu: Beholding the Mountain ~~~
Oh! Noble Mount Dai! How well you do!

7. 李白: 靜夜思(夜思) ~~~床前明月光
Li Bai: Thoughts in the Still of the Night (Thoughts at Night) ~~~
So luminous is the moonlight on the floor before my bed,

8. 韋莊: 寄調菩蕯蠻 ~~~人人盡說江南好
Wei Zhuang: To the Tune of Pu Sa Man ~~~
They all say that Jiangnan is truly fine and fair,

9. 李白: 登金陵鳳凰臺 ~~~鳳凰臺上鳳凰遊
Li Bai: Ascending Phoenix Terrace in Jinling ~~~
Once there were on Phoenix Terrace
Afrolicking phoenixes by the score,

10. 崔顥: 黃鶴樓 ~~~昔人已乘黃鶴去
Cui Hao: Yellow Crane Tower ~~~
Oh! Gone is the sage of yore,
Whom, to heaven, the Yellow Crane bore,

11. 李白: 黃鶴樓送孟浩然之廣陵 ~~~故人西辭黃鶴樓
Li Bai: At the Yellow Crane Tower to Bid Meng Haoren Bon Voyage to Guangling ~~~
Alas! My friend, for years my best,
You bade farewell to your native west, .....

I wish to share with you the full text of the first peom as follows:-

李白:下江陵(早發白帝城)~~~朝辭白帝彩雲間
Li Bai: Downstream to Jiangling (Early Start from Baidi City)

1 朝辭白帝彩雲間
2 千里江陵一日還
3 兩岸猿聲啼不住
4 輕舟已過萬重山

1 At daybreak I leave Baidi amidst clouds aglow,
2 A thousand miles to Jiangling is a mere day's flow.
3 Whilst monkeys cry incessantly from bank to bank,
4 I've skiffed past a myriad mountains row after row.

Note: I have not decided if the third line should read "In the unceasing cries of monkeys from bank to bank," and if "monkeys" should be replaced by "gibbons".

translated 24 January 2008

Classical Chinese Poems in English

高適: 除夜作 Gao Shih: Written in the Night of New Year’s Eve

韋應物: 滁州西澗 Wei Yingwu: By the River to the West of Chuzhou

李白: 题峰頂寺(夜宿山寺) Li Bai: Written at the Summit Temple (Lodged for the Night at a Mountain Temple)

柳中庸: 征人怨 Liu Zhongyong : A Soldier’s Lament

王維: 鹿柴 Wang Wei: The Deer Range

馬致遠: 天淨沙: 秋思 Ma Zhiyuan: Tian Jing Sha: Autumn Thoughts"

李白: 秋浦歌 其十四(首行--爐火照天地) Li Bai: Song of Qiupu XIV (First line--Their furnace fire illumes both earth and sky)

温庭筠: 更漏子 (首行-玉爐香) Weng Tingyun: Geng Lou Zi (Clepsydra, or Water Clock) (1st line- A jadite incense burner)

李白: 山中問答 Li Bai: Why in the Mountains

李煜: 相見歡/烏夜啼(首行--林花謝了春紅) Li Yu: Xiang Jian Huan(Happy Together)/Wu Ye Ti(Crows Caw at Night) (Flower groves have shed their spring red halo)

賀知章: 回鄉偶書 He Zhizhang: Coming Home

李煜: 浪淘沙 (新修訂本) Li Yu: Lang Tao Sha (Newly Revised Version)

李煜: 浪淘沙 懷舊 Li Yu: Lang Tao Sha (Waves Scouring the Sands) Reminiscence

陳沆: 一字詩 Chen Hang: An 'A' Poem

白居易: 夜雪 Bai Juyi: Night in Snow

韋應物: 秋夜寄邱二＋二員外 Wei Yingwu: Written on an Autumn Night to Squire Qiu

李白: 清平調 其三 Li Bai: 3rd of 3 Verses to the Qing & Ping Tunes (for Lady Yang)

馬致遠: 天淨沙: 秋思 Ma Zhiyuan: Tian Jing Sha: Autumn Thoughts"

李白: 清平調 其二 Li Bai: 2nd of Three Verses to the Qing and Ping Tunes (for Lady Yang)

李白: 黃鶴樓送孟浩然 .Li Bai: At the Yellow Crane Tower to Bid Meng Haoran Bon Voyage to Guanglling

李白: 清平調 其一 Li Bai; 1st of Three Verses to the Qing and Ping Tunes (for Lady Yang)

岳飛: 滿江紅 Yue Fei: Man Jiang Hong (The River All Red

杜牧: 清明 Du Mu: Qingming, the Fifth of April

贾島: 尋隐者不遇 Jia Dao: Visiting the Absent Hermit

白居易: 夜雪 Bai Juyi: Night in Snow

王维: 雜詩 Wang Wei: A Poem in a Miscellany

白居易: 問劉十九 Bai Juyi: At Home to Mr. Liu Shijiu

王維: 九月九日憶山東兄弟 Wang Wei: Thinking of My Brothers...on the 9th Day of the 9th Moon 王維: 九月九日憶山東兄弟

王翰: 涼州詞 Wang Han: Song of Liangzhou (The Battlefront)

李白: 望廬山瀑布 Li Bai: View of a Waterfall at Lushan

白居易: 大林寺桃花 Bai Juyi: Peach Blossoms at the Dalin Temple

劉禹錫: 烏衣巷 Liu Yuxi: Lane of Black-Gown Mansions

杜牧: 泊秦淮 Du Mu: Moored on River Qinhuai

杜牧: 贈別 (首行--多情卻似...) Du Mu: Given on Parting

劉禹錫: 竹枝詞 其一 Liu Yuxi: Song of Bamboo Twigs I

崔護: 題都城南莊 Cui Hu: At a Homestead South of the Capital City

王昌齡: 芙蓉樓送辛漸 Wang Changling: At the Lotus Inn to Bid Adieu to Xin Jian

李白: 黄鶴樓送孟浩然 Li Bai: At the Yellow Crane Tower to Bid Meng Haoran Bon Voyage

李白: 夜思 Li Bai: Night Thoughts

賀知章: 詠柳 He Zhizhang: An Ode to the Willow

李商隱: 登樂遊原 Li Shangyin: Ascending the Pleasurable Plateau

李白: 贈汪倫 Li Bai: To Wang Lun

杜甫: 絕句兩首 其二 Du Fu: Two Quatrains II (Last line: What year be the day ...)

柳宗元: 江雪 Liu Zongyuan: River-Snow

張繼 楓橋夜泊 Zhang Ji: Moored for the Night by the Maple Bridge

杜秋娘: 金縷衣 Du Qiuniang: Robe Embroidered in Gold

李白: 獨坐敬亭山 Li Bai: Sitting Alone at Mount Jingting

王維: 竹里館 Wang Wei: House in the Bamboo Grove

孟浩然: 春曉 Meng Haoran: A Morning in Spring

李白: 下江陵(早發白帝城) Li Bai: Downstream to Jiangling (Early Start from Baidi City)

李白: 秋浦歌其十四(首行--爐火照天地) Li Bai: Song of Qiupu XIV (First line--Their furnace fire illumes both earth and sky)

李煜: 浪淘沙懷舊 Li Yu: Lang Tao Sha (Waves Scouring the Sands) Reminiscence

李白: 清平調其三 Li Bai: 3rd of 3 Verses to the Qing & Ping Tunes (for Lady Yang)

李白: 清平調其二 Li Bai: 2nd of Three Verses to the Qing and Ping Tunes (for Lady Yang)

李白: 清平調其一 Li Bai; 1st of Three Verses to the Qing and Ping Tunes (for Lady Yang)

劉禹錫: 竹枝詞其一 Liu Yuxi: Song of Bamboo Twigs I

杜甫: 絕句兩首其二 Du Fu: Two Quatrains II (Last line: What year be the day ...)

張繼楓橋夜泊 Zhang Ji: Moored for the Night by the Maple Bridge