tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395481176873249475.post5928353605250618713..comments2024-03-29T13:53:58.551+08:00Comments on Classical Chinese Poems in English: 白居易 Bai Juyi: 暮江吟 Song of the River by EveningAndrew W.F. Wong 黃宏發http://www.blogger.com/profile/13042865467544530221noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395481176873249475.post-3381502553706516292018-02-20T13:12:22.786+08:002018-02-20T13:12:22.786+08:00Here's my version
A shard of setting sun
fall...Here's my version<br /><br />A shard of setting sun<br />fallen across the water<br />turns the river half emerald, half red.<br />I love these nights in early September,<br />with the dew like pearls<br />under the bow of the moon.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395481176873249475.post-20248957962839731372012-08-31T08:25:29.140+08:002012-08-31T08:25:29.140+08:00o andrew,
allow me to explain myself more clearly...o andrew,<br /><br />allow me to explain myself more clearly.<br /><br />from your detailed research, it is quite clear 瑟瑟 , as a 2-character term (word) -- as in 半江瑟瑟半江紅 -- can or could have one of the following 4 meanings:<br /><br />1. sound of wind 風聲, <br /><br />2. name of a jewel 珠寳名, <br /><br />3. green colour 碧绿貌,<br /><br />4. descriptive of a flowing stream 泉流貌, and<br /><br />5. as 象聲詞, 參見"瑟瑟", "瑟汩" onomatopoeic term, defining 瑟汩 as 水流聲. <br /><br />XYZ and your own interpretations, as defined under 4. above, appear to be on a path less travelled by the majority of translators. <br /><br />just a minor observation here, that's all and thank you!Frank Yuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17939635563021036391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395481176873249475.post-11090748177257133402012-08-31T05:21:38.458+08:002012-08-31T05:21:38.458+08:00thank you, andrew,
after much thought, i agree bo...thank you, andrew,<br /><br />after much thought, i agree both XYZ's interpretation of "shiver" and yours of "rippling", to translate 瑟瑟 (in 半江瑟瑟半江紅) in accordance with definition (6) of the 漢語大詞典 (形容發抖的樣子 descriptive of shivering) -- are both acceptable. <br /><br />but just acceptable and not really v "faithful" since neither word describe the actual "sound" of the flowing water. you 2 just indirectly describe the movement of the river -- but it is a silent picture, whereas as you said above li bai probably meant this to be an audio version too!Frank Yuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17939635563021036391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395481176873249475.post-7999624250380347172012-08-15T18:10:32.128+08:002012-08-15T18:10:32.128+08:00Continued. 辭源's definition (3) of 瑟瑟 has the ...Continued. 辭源's definition (3) of 瑟瑟 has the support of another dictionary the 漢語大詞典 which cites lines from 2 more poems: 韋莊 Wei Zhuang's 留得溪頭瑟瑟波 and 陸游 Lu You's 水面初生瑟瑟波; these, however, are also open to interpretation.<br /><br />What I have done is to treat 瑟瑟 not as a 2-character term (word) but as the repetition of the single character 瑟 so as to convey the image of continually flowing water and the sound of it. 漢語大字典 (yet another dictionary, not the 詞典 quoted above and below) defines 瑟 as (5) 泉流貌 descriptive of a flowing stream. 漢語大詞典 defines 瑟 as (6) 象聲詞, 參見"瑟瑟", "瑟汩" onomatopoeic term, ref. "se se", "se gu" (Cantonese "sat sat", "sat guat"). It further defines 瑟汩 as 水流聲 sound of flowing water. I have, therefore, decided for either "rippling" or "in ripples". <br /><br />The great poetry translation master 許淵冲 Xu Yuan Zhong probably had similar suspicions when he translated this Bai Juyi poem and had rendered the line as "Half of its waves turn red and the other half shiver" using "shiver" to translate 瑟瑟 in accordance with definition (6) of the 漢語大詞典 (形容發抖的樣子 descriptive of shivering). If I were to (which I perhaps should) follow his interpretation, I would have penned my line as "Half of the river quivering, half in red aglow".<br /><br />Mine may not be the most faithful interpretation. Yet, I believe it gives out a beautiful image worthy of a poet like Bai Juyi.<br /><br /> Andrew W.F. Wong 黃宏發https://www.blogger.com/profile/13042865467544530221noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395481176873249475.post-88624161618679925722012-08-14T16:58:49.704+08:002012-08-14T16:58:49.704+08:00I thank Frank for his rendition and his interpreti...I thank Frank for his rendition and his interpreting 瑟瑟 as "dark green" which I had considered but rejected and which reasons I should have but have not included in my notes. In the 辭源, 瑟瑟 as a 2-character term (word)) is defined as (1) sound of wind 風聲, (2) name of a jewel 珠寳名, and (3) green colour 碧绿貌 quoting the very same line of the very same poem as authority. While (1) is probably an onomatopoeia of the sound of wind and (2) is apparently a transliteration of a foreign imported jewel, (3) is simply by definition. It is green because Bai Juyi meant it to be green; but did he? Why did'nt he pen 半江碧绿半江紅? Sorry, I have to go. More to follow tomorrow.Andrew W.F. Wong 黃宏發https://www.blogger.com/profile/13042865467544530221noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395481176873249475.post-30426455966701370572012-08-11T22:01:04.174+08:002012-08-11T22:01:04.174+08:00thank you, andrew,
for your nice rendition and th...thank you, andrew,<br /><br />for your nice rendition and the nice pic (that evokes some fond memories).<br /><br />may i post below another rendition of the same bai juyi poem? (my interpretation of 瑟瑟 is quite different from yours.)<br /><br /><br />【暮江吟】 唐·白居易<br /> <br />一道殘陽鋪水中,<br />半江瑟瑟半江紅。<br />可憐九月初三夜,<br />露似真珠月似弓。<br /><br /><br />MU JIANG YIN ("Late-Evening River Recital") Bai Juyi (772-846) <br /><br />Setting-sun remnants carpet th' river, set it aglow; <br />Half of the river is dark green, the other, reddish pink! <br />O The third night of the ninth moon is most enchantin'; <br />The dews hang like silver pearls, the Moon, a golden bow.Frank Yuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17939635563021036391noreply@blogger.com