tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395481176873249475.post3778227452356723587..comments2024-03-28T15:17:25.159+08:00Comments on Classical Chinese Poems in English: 李益 Li Yi: 江南曲 Jiang Nan Qu (Song of the Land South of the River)Andrew W.F. Wong 黃宏發http://www.blogger.com/profile/13042865467544530221noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395481176873249475.post-1218081914323148212015-08-07T14:48:09.276+08:002015-08-07T14:48:09.276+08:00This poem has no pair of butterflies flying away t...This poem has no pair of butterflies flying away together, as told by Liu Bai in his Ballad of Changgan, a rather longer poem concerning the longing and desire of a devoted lover for the return of a merchant who too has travelled beyond the Qutang Gorge; rather, Li Yi's poem has an entirely different story to tell. The disappointment in her husband's apparent desertion leaves the wife wondering if a better life would have been achieved by marrying a simple sailor boy is depicted with devastating effect in this poem of just four lines.<br /><br />I think the brevity of the poem adds to the feeling of resentment experienced by the wife, this merchant is worth just those four lines. But equally, an important element within the poem is the humiliating comparison of the merchant to what Andrew translates as the river-boat sailor; not only in the likely regularity of the river-boat sailor's homecoming as judged by the similarly regular seasonal floods of the river, but in the assumed simple life of the river-boat sailor (or perhaps a river boy) in contrast to the riches of the merchant (possibly emulating the social ranking of ancient China - "scholars, farmers, artisans and merchants" - and placing her husband below the sailor in her esteem).<br /><br />Andrew has though given himself a real challenge by keeping the translated poem to four lines, developing an associated though dissimilar rhythm and maintaining the rhyme scheme.<br /><br />Andrew must be applauded for revealing the regular floods of the river rather than the use of "tide" - the river at the Qutang Gorge is after all rather unlikely to be tidal, and hence Andrew has dealt with the reality in a very clever way (and unlike other translations I have seen, that refer to a twice daily tide bringing the sailor boy home). Andrew has also exaggerated the feeling of isolation of the wife; despite the river flooding only at certain times of the year, her husband still doesn't return - if the river was navigable twice a day, there would be much less an anticipation or expectation of return on the allotted date, he could always come home the next day; but missing the floods means months before another opportunity arises.<br /><br />Keeping the poem to four lines and matching the rhyme (qī with ní; said with instead) in English had the potential of establishing an unintended levity in the poem detracting from the true feelings of the wife; she feels only hurt and disappointment in her husbands continued absences and broken promises, expressed well in the compact Chinese verse, difficult to match in English.<br /><br />Andrew manages to avoid this levity, but only just I think. In my mind, to help reduce the potential of the poem becoming limerick-like would be to break each line in two, to make the poem eight short lines though as it stands that's not so easy with the final line.<br /><br />Andrew sets up a "past possibility" in the the fourth line but the line reads a tad strained; "I might have had married...", and I do prefer Andrew's unused rhetorical option "Should I have married...".Ray Heatonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11458153443445711776noreply@blogger.com