tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395481176873249475.post2778923698506015487..comments2024-03-29T13:53:58.551+08:00Comments on Classical Chinese Poems in English: 温庭筠 Wen Tingyun: 更漏子 (1- 玉爐香) Geng Lou Zi (Clepsydra, or Water Clock) (1- A jadite incense burner)Andrew W.F. Wong 黃宏發http://www.blogger.com/profile/13042865467544530221noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395481176873249475.post-5535113736913472052011-07-21T08:29:47.290+08:002011-07-21T08:29:47.290+08:00hi, andrew,
may i post a slightly revised renditi...hi, andrew,<br /><br />may i post a slightly revised rendition of wen tingyun's GENG LOU ZI the Water-Clock ci below.<br /><br />(this is to rectify two errors, namely, <br />a. “謝家” in 《謝家池閣》 是泛指女子所居住之地方。 <br />b. 詞牌的標题 “本意”,意思是說詞牌本身也同是標題,所以不會有其他標題了。) <br /><br /><br />《更漏子》其一 (本意) 温庭筠<br />柳絲長,春雨細,花外漏聲迢遞。<br />驚塞雁,起城烏,畫屏金鷓鴣。<br /><br />香霧薄,透簾幕,惆悵謝家池閣。<br />紅燭背,繡簾垂,夢君君不知。 <br /><br />Tune: GENG LOU ZI (“The Water-Clock”) – The Water-Clock No. 1 (of 6) Wen Tingyun (812-870)<br /><br />O Long Leave-ribbons of Willow,<br />Spring Rain coming down Soft and low --<br />From Beyond the Flower Plots come Sounds of “PLOP”...<br />Tears of the ever-dripping WATERCLOCK. <br />They Startle Wild Geese from Border,<br />Bring to Flight City Crows yonder.<br />(But fail to turn) Quails -- on the Screen folder, <br />All painted in Gold -- (one moment older).<br /><br />All covered by Fragrant Mist Light,<br />It Permeates the Curtains Tight --<br />Over the Pretty Lady's ornate Pavilions and Pond,<br />The heavy air of Melancholy just Lingers on.<br />Red Candle flames A-flickering,<br />Embroidered Curtains still Hanging.<br />O How I Dreamed and Dreamed of you, My Dear,<br />But You Know Not, being faraway from here!Frank Yuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17939635563021036391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395481176873249475.post-20945384610021633782011-07-19T08:55:03.172+08:002011-07-19T08:55:03.172+08:00on re-consideration, '畫屏金鷓鴣' above should ...on re-consideration, '畫屏金鷓鴣' above should be rendered as follows, as the english words shown within brackets do not actually appear in the original poem:<br /><br />''(But fail to turn) Quails -- on the Screen folder, <br />All painted in Gold -- (one moment older).''Frank Yuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17939635563021036391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395481176873249475.post-30305659141939776572011-07-19T08:35:49.298+08:002011-07-19T08:35:49.298+08:00hi, andrew,
it is said that wen tinyun wrote a to...hi, andrew,<br /><br />it is said that wen tinyun wrote a total of 6 GENG LOU ZI poems. may i post below another one (that is said to be the best written of them all) with an attempted rendition: <br /><br /><br />《更漏子》其一 (本意) 温庭筠<br /><br />柳絲長,春雨細,花外漏聲迢遞。<br />驚塞雁,起城烏,畫屏金鷓鴣。<br /><br />香霧薄,透簾幕,惆悵謝家池閣。<br />紅燭背,繡簾垂,夢君君不知。 <br /><br />GENG LOU ZI (“The Water-Clock”) (Original Sentiments) No. 1 <br />Wen Tinyun (812-870)<br /><br />O Long Leave-ribbons of Willow,<br />Spring Rain coming down Soft and low --<br />From Beyond the Flower Plots come Sounds of “PLOP”...<br />Tears of the ever-dripping WATERCLOCK. <br />They Startle Wild Geese from Border,<br />Bring to Flight City Crows yonder.<br />But fail to turn Quails, on the Screen folder, <br />All painted in Gold, one moment older.<br /><br />All covered by Fragrant Mist Light,<br />It Permeates the Curtains Tight --<br />Over the Xia Family Pavilions and Pond,<br />The heavy air of Melancholy just Lingers on.<br />Red Candle flames A-flickering,<br />Embroidered Curtains still Hanging.<br />O How I Dreamed and Dreamed of you, My Dear,<br />But You Know Not, being faraway from here!Frank Yuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17939635563021036391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395481176873249475.post-68470352942315780252011-07-15T05:22:59.738+08:002011-07-15T05:22:59.738+08:00hi, andrew,
sorry, in my haste i missed two whol...hi, andrew, <br /><br />sorry, in my haste i missed two whole lines from my rendition of the wen tingyun poem.<br /><br />here's the complete rendition, please.<br /><br /> 更漏子 (一): 秋意 温庭筠<br />1 玉爐香<br />2 紅蠟淚<br />3 偏照畫堂秋思<br />4 眉翠薄<br />5 鬢雲殘<br />6 夜長衾枕寒<br /><br />7 梧桐樹<br />8 三更雨<br />9 不道離情正苦<br />10 一葉葉<br />11 一聲聲<br />12 空階滴到明 <br /><br />GENG LOU ZI (“The Water-Clock”) (Autumnal Sentiments) No. 1 <br />Wen Tinyun (812-870)<br /><br />The jade censer breathes out fragrant incense;<br />Candle weeps blood-red tears without pretence,<br />It lights up painted hall's Autumn griefs in suspense.<br />Painted pale-green eyebrows are on the wane,<br />While temple hair is greying without fain.<br />So deep and dark the night, it still drags on –<br />Quilt and pillow won't refrain the chill strong!<br /><br />Pity, pity the lonesome phoenix tree;<br />Past midnight: down come the cold rains and sleet –<br />So speechless, as separation woes are recall'd --<br />Now from leaf to leaf fall,<br />One PLOP – plops one, plop all...<br />Dripping on empty outdoor steps – PITTER!<br />Dripping until the new day breaks – PATTER!Frank Yuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17939635563021036391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395481176873249475.post-31040207260192170892011-07-14T22:11:25.103+08:002011-07-14T22:11:25.103+08:00secondly, andrew,
congratulations on a v fine and...secondly, andrew,<br /><br />congratulations on a v fine and enjoyable rendition of 温庭筠: 更漏子 (首行-玉爐香). i like in particular your use of the sound-word "plop" that is so refreshing and exciting!<br /><br />may i borrow it in my attempted rendition below, fresh from the oven, for your kind critique please.<br /><br /><br />Geng Lou Zi (“The Water-Clock”) (Autumnal Sentiments) No. 1 <br />Wen Tinyun (812-870)<br /><br />The jade censer breathes out fragrant incense,<br />The candle weeps red tears without pretence.<br />Painted pale-green eyebrows are on the wane,<br />While temple hair is greying without fain.<br />So deep and dark the night, it still drags on –<br />Quilt and pillow can't resist the chill strong.<br /><br />Pity, pity the lonesome phoenix tree,<br />Past midnight: drenched in rain; cold rain and sleet<br />Now from leaf to leaf fall –<br />One PLOP – plops one, plop all...<br />Dripping on empty outdoor steps – PITTER!<br />Dripping until the new day breaks – PATTER!Frank Yuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17939635563021036391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395481176873249475.post-82223610855108896672011-07-14T22:01:51.791+08:002011-07-14T22:01:51.791+08:00hi, andrew,
first, allow me to post below the who...hi, andrew,<br /><br />first, allow me to post below the whole 歐陽修《蝶戀花》 song ci (for ease of reference), together with an alternative rendition for your review (if you will):<br /><br />《蝶戀花》歐陽修.北宋<br /><br />庭院深深深幾許? 楊柳堆煙,簾幕無重數。<br />玉勒雕鞍游冶處,樓高不見章臺路。<br />雨橫風狂三月暮,門掩黃昏,無計留春住。<br />淚眼問花花不語,亂紅飛過鞦韆去。 <br /><br />TUNE: “DIE LIAN HUA” (Butterfly Romancing Flowers) <br />Ouyang Xiu (1007-1072: Northern Song)<br /><br />O! So deep, deep and lonesome, how deep is the court? <br />A misty screen twisty, weaving willow leaves sport --<br />Like countless curtains (cloaking a closed fort).<br /><br />Riding adorned steed, my spouse in drinks and laughter shall souse; <br />From my mansion I can't see the road to the Bawdy House.<br /><br />With heavy rains and strong gusts raging in late Spring, <br />To shut out the failing light, the doors back I fling. <br />How could one ever detain sweet Spring's everything?<br /><br />In tears, I inquired but silent remain the flowers;<br />O'er the swing, petals flew amok in the past hours.Frank Yuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17939635563021036391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395481176873249475.post-7387851443186548102011-07-14T21:51:02.656+08:002011-07-14T21:51:02.656+08:00果然迅速,發叔好野!
不知可否在此一談政治議題?果然迅速,發叔好野!<br />不知可否在此一談政治議題?Azurinohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08990533595474003768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395481176873249475.post-6250305638488318952011-07-13T16:25:54.384+08:002011-07-13T16:25:54.384+08:00Kindly delete "Hundred" in the book titl...Kindly delete "Hundred" in the book title to read "Bilingual Edition 300 Song Lyrics".Andrew W.F. Wong 黃宏發https://www.blogger.com/profile/13042865467544530221noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395481176873249475.post-53048859186324298762011-07-13T11:51:17.520+08:002011-07-13T11:51:17.520+08:00I thank [Azurino] for his compliments. I agree my...I thank [Azurino] for his compliments. I agree my 2 hexameter (6-foot) lines (translating the 2 6-character lines) appear long. I suggest they be read with a ceasura (pause) mid-line as follows:-<br /><br />3 Lights up, in the hall,/ a face immersed in autumn sorrow. <br />9 They know not her heart,/ the pains of separation a-ripping.<br /><br />I have not attempted a translation of 歐陽修's 蝶戀花. The rendition which [Azurino] likes is, I think, by the great scholar/translator 許淵沖 ("Bilingual Edition 300 Hundred Song Lyrics", Beijing: Higher Education 高等教育 2004, p. 111) which I reproduce below properly lined and numbered for ease of reference. It is slightly different from the version [Azurino] cited, probably this being a revised version:-<br /><br />Ouyang Xiu: "Tune: Butterflies in Love with Flowers"<br /><br />1 Deep, deep the courtyard where he is, so deep<br />2 It's veiled by smoke-like willows heap on heap,<br />3 By curtain on curtain and screen on screen.<br />4 Leaving his saddle and bridle, there he has been <br />5 Merry-making. From my tower his trace can't be seen.<br /><br />6 The third moon now, the wind and rain are raging late;<br />7 At dusk I bar the gate, <br />8 But I can't bar in spring.<br />9 My tearful eyes ask flowers, but they fail to bring <br />10 An answer, I see red blooms fly over the swing.Andrew W.F. Wong 黃宏發https://www.blogger.com/profile/13042865467544530221noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3395481176873249475.post-26388523634939075992011-07-12T21:50:55.287+08:002011-07-12T21:50:55.287+08:00不俗不俗,但六字的二句英文版可短些。想看你譯歐陽修的蝶戀花。看了許多譯本,均不太滿意,以下為稍滿意版...不俗不俗,但六字的二句英文版可短些。想看你譯歐陽修的蝶戀花。看了許多譯本,均不太滿意,以下為稍滿意版︰Deep, deep the courtyard where he is, so deep<br />It's veiled by smoke-like willows heap on heap,<br />By curtain on curtain and screen on screen.<br />Leaving his saddle and bridle, there he has been merry-making. From my tower he can't be seen.<br />The third month now, the wind and rain are raging late,<br />At dusk I bar the gate, But I can't bar in spring.<br />My tearful eyes ask flowers<br />but they fail to bring an answer.<br />I see blossoms fall beyond the swing.Azurinohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08990533595474003768noreply@blogger.com